Fuck cancer.

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Dervish, Mar 29, 2015.

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  1. I'm sick and tired of losing people I care about and it's still not done with my family. And here I am, 3,500 kilometers from home being away from everyone as disease and illness suddenly grips them and takes them from me. I can't be there for the dead, and I can't be there for the living.

    This is how you feel powerless and fucking useless.
     
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  2. :(

    *hugs*

    I'm so sorry, man.
     
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  3. I'm sorry. I know exactly how you feel. >_<
     
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  4. I'm sorry man, that has to be rough. :/
     
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  5. Much as I'd love to hand you a baseball bat and say "Go get 'em, tiger." I can't do much more than offer you my condolences and wish you and your loved ones strength.

    The best advice I can muster is try to focus on what you can do rather than on what you can't. I know the distance sucks, god do I know it sucks, but if you can, try to give them call? Maybe hit up skype for a video-call? Write a letter? None of that is going to kill off cancer, but any type of distraction is a godsend. Tell them how things are going for you. Share a good show or send them a good book. It may seem trivial, especially in the face of such an overwhelming situation, but small things can make a difference. We can transmit our feelings in many different ways. It may seem counter-intuitive, but people fighting day in and day out can really do with something else to talk about. While it's really shitty you can't physically be there for them, it does put you in a position to fulfil that kind of role.

    Still, best of luck. Shit like this ain't easy.
     
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  6. Cancer. Big word when unfolded and placed center stage.

    Dad's been dealing with skin cancer which keeps wanting to come back. Though he's been putting up with it for a few years now, he seems to have accepted the route which he may be bound to. But of course he deals with it in a rather optimistic yet cynical manner which we both boil down to "Well shit. Oh well." Maybe a bit too simple. Well any ways, I do hope any family and friend, well anyone for that matter, doesn't have to succumb to it.

    To note the irony of my current situation, I type this with a cigarette hanging off my lip. Hmmph. Talk about talking out of my ass.

    Best wishes no less.
     
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  7. You need all the hugs right now man. Cancer sucks and it's worse when you can't be there for them. I understand. My mother fought with cancer (she's been in the clear for a while now) my grandmother fought with cancer (she ultimately kinda lost but damn she wasn't gonna just give up! at almost 90 she wanted to go through chemo AGAIN), and my aunt is currently undergoing treatment for cancer. Keep them in your thoughts and those you lose will always be in your heart and memories. It sucks, it really does but you just gotta remember the good times.
     
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  8. Thanks guys, I'm better today than yesterday. I'm not super good at talking about personal crisises, but I am grateful for the quick and sincere replies. Right now the hardest part is the phone calls. Death isn't really new to me, since I've lost 3 family members over the last 3 years in a pretty tiny family, I just wish it didn't cost 300 dollars to go home.
     
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  9. Sadly that seems to be the nature of family deaths, it starts to become a huge economical strain was well as an emotional one.

    The only advice I can really give is try to make the most of your time back home.
    As in, spend time with and grieve with your family as much as you can while you're with them before you need to head back.
    Make that 300 dollars worth it for a lack of better words.
     
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  10. Fuck Cancer indeed. Derv, I know exactly how you feel. My mother suffered twice from cancer and I lost many others to it. My mother goes with the fear it might one day return to her. And It is so hard to watch her struggle with that. Stay strong my friend. Your family knows you love them.

    Fuck Cancer.
     
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  11. I'm sorry Dervish, cancer isn't easy to deal with. It's hard to know what to do in these situations, how to comfort the living with it and yourself. Truth is, there's a void there because we feel so helpless to it. Cancer is a big fucking cunt. Like Hellis said, your family loves you, you've got to keep going. I wish that I could be of more help to you.
     
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  12. /gives Dervish a hug

    Sending some positive vibes your way. I can understand your feelings on some level. I've had family taken away from me without me being able to be with them. The feeling is so shitty. Spend time with your loved ones and watch a movie that makes you smile. :]
     
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  13. I appreciate it guys, I really do. It's one of the things I like about this community, it's really supportive! I'm doing pretty well today, I might pick up the bass or guitar in honour of my uncle who passed away last night. He was a music teacher and he played in a Pink Floyd tribute band. He was also easily one of the funniest men I've ever met.
     
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  14. While I can only begin to imagine what you're going through, all I can offer is my condolences, Derv. I sincerely hope you and your family will pull through and see some happiness in the end. After everyone you've lost, you deserve it.
     
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  15. :( I definitely know how you feel. Cancer and diabetes run in my mom's and dad's families respectively. Every elderly person on my mom's side that has died had some form of cancer and there isn't many of us left. My mom died in 2013 and I miss her a lot. My dad died in 2007 from diabetes and my uncle died last year from it as well. Death is definitely a horrible part of life :( you have to hang in there and honor your loved ones the best you can :) it's ok to cry your eyes out and lean on someone for help and support ^_^
     
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