There were many women around that time writing books, joining civil rights acts, doing what they can for their countries, ruling countries and so on. So...is it really unfair to want a strong minded female who can rely on others but really, rely on herself? The movies were nice to look at to me but i just could not relate to them.
And the recent Cinderella live action film was a complete let down to me. Seriously, i hated every moment of it. She was so...I don't know what it is, weak? Passive? I was unable to vibe with it. Drew Berrymore's Ever After was more enjoyable.
And since you like Cinderella so much, you should look into The Lunar Chronicles. The main characters are based off Cinderella, Snow White, Repunzel, Little Red Riding Hood and the Evil Queen. But it puts Cinder in a more positive view.
@Time Turtle started reading it because of me 8'D.