Emotions in Limbo

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Yaoi Master Gavin, Nov 1, 2014.

  1. So as I stand here making dinner, my roommates gone for the weekend, once again my thoughts go back to where I really don't want them to go. It's been a month I think. I don't really know; time is literally wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff for me and I have no internal concept of it. And no relative view for it since I've already deleted everything

    My mind goes back to my ex-boyfriend and the hole in my heart he left. I don't hurt nearly as bad as I used to now that I know he was cheating on me but it's the difference between having a blade being twisted in your gut and just having it sit there. That hole is still there and I've been trying to either fill it up or at least conceal it for a little while by filling my time with other things. Most of the time it works but some times I'm just not mentally stimulated enough to keep my mind from wandering.

    Even as I hate him for being the asshole he is, I miss him. Or at least... I miss having someone in my life that I love unconditionally and who loves me the same way, or so I hope. The thing is... I can't stop from feeling this way. I can't stop from feeling this hole in my heart all the time because this was the first relationship where I genuinely felt love and that was torn away from me. I hate this feeling and I know that it's going to get better but what the hell do I do right now? What the hell do I do with this pain and emptyness?
     
  2. Find something to distract yourself, a hobby, a sport, whatever. It's been over a year since my girlfriend broke up with me and I can still feel the pain inside sometimes. When that happens, I go do something, something that will prevent me from thinking about it; it doesn't matter what it is, reading, video games, surfing the Internet, whatever. Though it's harder nowadays as my motivation to live decreases ever so slowly, depression is terrible like that; but whenever I do find something to distract me, it really does help a lot. Even if it only last a few minutes, I find that it can seriously change my mood for the rest of day and I'll just generally feel a little better for that period of time. Basically, if you're ever feeling down, find something to do. Like I said, it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it can distract you from the pain. Keep in mind that this is a strictly temporary solution, though.
     
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  3. All I can offer you is my personal experience with this issue. It may be helpful to you, or it may not. Everyone handles these things differently. Here is what I suggest. By no means am I saying it will be easy, and every day you will have to work at it.

    First, you must accept that your relationship with your ex is over, and it will never flourish again. It is very painful to think about I know, but you must be honest with yourself to heal. The plans you had with this person will never come to be. You will grieve over this for some time. I was once told by a close friend that you have 24 hours to feel sorry for yourself. Cry, be angry, do what you have to do. However, when that 24 hours is up you must pick yourself up and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

    I always liked to think that after a bad break up it was a good thing. It now left it open for me to meet someone better, someone who would treat me right. I would take the opportunity to do all the things I couldn't do in a relationship. I would go dancing, do the other things my ex hated and I loved, flirt, etc.... try to consider yourself lucky you get to do all these things now.

    Summed up my advice is this: give yourself a time period to feel sorry for yourself. This does not mean you won't be sad after it is up, just that you will work hard on letting it go. Let your ex go. Comes to terms with the fact your relationship is over, so there's no lingering "What ifs," and try to find the good out of the situation. (You are smarter because of this, no longer are you allowing that jerk to cheat on you or use you, you are a better person without them, you are now open and available for better things)
     
  4. i actually just took a day off, maybe a weekend, and then went back to my normal bachelor routine whenever i had a breakup

    a few weeks later, tried dating someone else

    then again, i have never been one to perseverate or dwell on the past

    live, love, get burned, learn, try again

    not everyone has that mentality though
     
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  5. I sure don't. My gf left me a couple months ago and I am still broken by it. See the thread I posted and you will see how much pain I am in. I see it as a cry for help.
     
  6. Experience it. Your pain belongs to no one but you and you alone have to decide the way to get through it. Many will have advice and winding paths for you to take, but heart ache is a lonely path that many have traveled before you and many will travel again.

    Feel your self through the entirety of the pain...and then one day...someday soon, you will wake up Stronger than you were the day before.

    Its easy to distract yourself, and set goals and say I'm ok for now, but lets be honest...crying into that pillow is at times the only option we get. Strength is often at it best behind closed doors and I think the body needs to release in some way but processing the feeling needs to come first. The pain...never goes away, you just get stronger.

    Right now, focus on you, love. Pay attention and listen to your body and you will know what to do next. HAve faith in yourself.

    <3
    Fijo