Description Vs. Dialogue

[Iliana]

This exercise is to help describe and paint! With the help of your senses, use vivid details to make your role plays spring to life! Show instead of Tell!

Everyone is fully aware of the five senses: Sight, Touch, Taste, Smell, Hear. A great deal can be said just by looking at someone's physical appearance. Just as well as a lot could be discovered only by feeling, hearing, touching, smelling, tasting something. For example, if you are traveling through a forest and smell smoke, hear the cackling of leaves, or detect smog in the air, you do not need to say the words, "The forest is on fire!" Chucking detail into a role play can save a lot of quotations! Dialogue is a major necessity, yes, but there is nothing like painting the picture for your reader!

YOUR EXERCISE IS TO....

1.) Change this dialogue between a girl and her best friend on their prom night into pure description using all five senses and NO DIALOGUE!

"So, you danced with her while you were supposed to be bringing me punch."

"She pulled me on the dance floor. I didn't want to go."

"Do you even care about me?"

"Of course I do!"

"Well if you cared, you would've stayed. I'm leaving..."

OR....

2.) Write your own piece of dialogue then re write it using all sensory details and NO DIALOGUE!
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Remember, have fun with this! :D​

 

[akaimeridia]

Re: Writing Exercise: Description Vs. Dialogue

And there it was, what I had feared all along. Slowly but surely it came upon me, tightening the lungs within my chest, sinking my stomach, stirring tears behind my eyes. I watched him finish the dance, wondered if he would even remember the simple request I made. He didn't. The room was filled with music and laughter, but all I heard was silence, interrupted every half second by the pounding of my heart. At his empty-handed return I looked up at him, pain easy to read on my face, in my eyes. I could smell the perfume of the girl he had danced with; it lingered on his clothes like a stain. Wondering bitterly how he could do this to me, I lowered my eyes and turned my head away. I could feel him starting to panic, touching my arm so that I would turn and look at him, wanting to reassure me that it wasn't what it had looked like. But it was too late. I walked away and didn't look back.

 

[Celest]

Re: Writing Exercise: Description Vs. Dialogue

She sighed, tapping her foot slightly as it bordered on ten minutes since her date had gone to get punch. Why would it take anyone that long to get a drink? Deciding to investigate for herself, she began to push her way through the crowd only to stumble upon a scene that crushed her. He was there.. on the dance floor with someone else. Her hand covered her lips as the scene became blurry, distorted by tears. Soon she felt the tender touch of his fingertips slide along her jawline; she pulled away. His white shirt was stained with red of her rouge. She was no longer the only girl who became intoxicated with the smell of his cologne, she was no longer the only girl who felt the safety of his arms as the gingerly encircled her waist, and she was no longer the girl who got to experience the brush of his lips as he whispered sweet little nothings in her ear. With a shake of her head, she turned on her heel, finally allowing tears to slide effortlessly down her cheeks. He reached for her, only to have his fingers barely graze down her arm. That touch didn't phase her; the damage had been done. Not even a glance back was spared as she walked through the doors.

 

[Daniella_Belli]

Re: Writing Exercise: Description Vs. Dialogue

As I continued to dance with her to the best of my ability, my movements awkward because my feet were ladden with fear, it seemed as if I were but a marionette performing the uncalculated twirls as a child seemed to manipulate the strings. I inhaled the scent of her honey hair, my fingertips airily stroked the small of her back, to feel nothing more than the velvet fabric of her dress. I could feel the weight of my best friend's stare, the envy in his eyes congealing into a solid emerald green. He started over after lingering near the refreshment table, upon it a crystalline bowl filled with some sort of imbibement. Would this envy cause him to loosen a vial of poison into my serving? Who was he jealous of anyway, my lovely dancing partner, or I?

I could recall it happening so fast, the sting of my wrist as her grip commanded me to the dance floor, the dizzying motions of the spins she produced of an unwilling form. I could hear the voices of the party goers, the silken song of the radiantly clad siren that graced the stage. She was a feast to both the eyes and ears, soothing voice pouring out from between ruby lips. I could feel my cheeks flushing as the woman's voice compelled me further, as if I were helplessly steering a ship into the rocks. I had to break the thrall of the songstress, and whirled away from the grasp of Regina, only to meet the cold stare of Angelo. I could tell what he was thinking, having observed me in the rapture of dancing with the beauteous woman and the crooning that filled my ears. His gaze reflected the memories of our entire friendship, possibly having been corrupted by the wistful terpsichorean I had found myself a mere jester amongst the waves of others carrying on and dancing.

I sank to bended knee, my hands jutting out to him as tears welled up in my eyes. He looked sorrowfully to where he stood, as if to relay that I shouldn't have left his side. Perhaps he meant to speak of his true feelings for me, the emotions that were hidden beneath his composed exterior. We were a pair, and I had broken the link between us. I couldn't help but to weep as I saw him approaching the door, the fragrance of honey teasing my nostrils as if it were but a specter manifesting from my regret.