I turn on my intercom, and I speak today's announcement. "Hello everybody! Sasquatch here to tell you that today has been a month without any incidences! Now to todays news!" "Van Helsing has come back from vacation, so be at attention should he start his hunting business again, he is rather intolerant of our kind." "There was a zombie outbreak in Raccoon City again. Really, humans? I have no clue why Umbrella hasn't been shut-down already, they seem totally incompetent for what they are tasked with. Anyways..." "Today is Nessie's birthday, so wish her a happy birthday, it gets kind of lonely out in the Loch." "That is it for news today. Make sure to be on your best behavior because today is inspection day! Doppelgangers, don't be playing with people with that hole in the wall. No bloodsucking from vampires AND chupacabras, if your really that hungry head to the nearby bloodbank, it's not that hard. AND NO ONE MOVE THE SECRETARY FROM WHERE SHE IS!!! She's getting help with her condition, but making her scream by nudging her is NOT HELPING!" "Anyways, have a good workday! Sasquatch out."