D&D Campaign Highlights/Story Time

[Grothnor]

Share your favorite D&D Campaign Stories or Highlights!

Some highlights from my first D&D game (3.5e):

We fight a band of orc bards (dressed in 'hair metal' attire). Our druid summons a whale. It lands on them and they throw it back at us. I spend the entirety of the fight grappling with one of the orc bards, making awful rolls.

We fight a vampire. Our mage critically fails his fire spell roll and instead of incinerating the vampire, destroys the druid's snake familiar/staff. "Burn, you monster of the ni- OHMYGOD A SNAKE KILL IT WITH FIRE!"

Our Warrior leaves halfway through the campaign. His character is dragged out of our coastal camp in the middle of the night by krakens (presumably). Nobody cares. I get his sword.

Campaign ends abruptly (as the school year ends) with the Ragnarok. My character gets possessed by Loki. Our Bard tries reading from some magical book to try to stop the Apocalypse. I steal it and pop off to some pocket dimension and start to read it, only to realize, as an Orc, I am illiterate. I return to the real world only to find that the Bard is dead from some falling meteor or something. I drop the book on his corpse.

So, here's the more detailed version of my first D&D campaign. My character was 'Big Mek Dakkasmiff', an ork from Warhammer 40k who built a 'tellyporta' that went horribly wrong and teleported him to an entirely different franchise. The first thing he did when he arrived was to go into a frenzied rage and pummel the remains of his teleporter into scrap, which made the nearby party of adventurers rather nervous, if impressed with his strength. He then made a makeshift axe out of said scrap, again impressing the party enough to invite him to come along with them. Dakkasmiff, being smart enough to not attack everything he saw on sight like other 40k orks, agreed.

Our party consisted of a druid who had a staff that could transform into a snake, A bard and his twin sister (who I think was a spellsword or something), a mage/wizard/generic magic user, a battlemaster/generic warrior and an ork Berzerker (me). For the life of me, I cannot recall what the original mission of the party was.

Our first encounter was with a group of four orc bards, dressed something like this, standing on top of a stage, playing music so bad, we ended up attacking them (though I may have been the one to initiate the fight). I start trying to attack the biggest one of the orc bards, but I keep missing. Our druid, after perusing his list of spells, chooses to summon a whale. It ends up flattening half their party for considerable damage, but they end up flinging it right back at us. Fortunately it missed. Eventually we took them down, though the one I was fighting turned out to be an unstoppable zombie thing being controlled by one of the other orc bards and kept fighting even after it's master (and the rest of it's friends) was dead. I think the GM wanted us to investigate the corpse for come kind of magical control device, but we just kept hammering away at it until the GM just said 'ok it dies, you win'.

We ended up camping outside a haunted castle by the seashore, planning to go in for the next session. The person playing our GenericWarrior™ had to leave around this point, so when we awoke the next morning, we found the GenericWarrior™ guy was missing, his weapons left behind and strange tracks leading towards the water. It was rather clear the GM wanted us to investigate where he went, but I just called dibs on his sword (which was considerably better than my makeshift axe) and we headed towards the castle.

We entered the castle, got some spoopy voice warning us to turn back, yada yada. Then we fell into some kind of trap that split us up and dropped us into the basement, where we had to solve puzzles and stuff to rescue our teammates and get back to the ground floor in one x one sessions w/ the GM. The two puzzles I remember were the "You have a 5 unit cup and a 3 Unit cup, pour exactly 4 units of liquid into the Macguffin", which I solved in 5 seconds flat (impressing everyone both IC and OOC) and "place 8 Queens on a chessboard so none of them threaten each other", which was a bit harder. The bard and his twin sister (who were being played by the same guy, I think) started doing some plot related thing, again I can't remember for the life of me, though I honestly think the plot was really only there for that guy. We all end up with magic rings that turned us into hybrid classes; I ended up a Berzerker/Firebender.

Somewhere in all this, on our second or third session, someone brought booze and we made a night of it, getting plastered, playing terrible drinking games (the guy with the twins tried drinking every time I tried interrupting the GM, and I think I made him pass out), and getting way too drunk to actually do anything IC. We had an absolute blast, but booze was outlawed from our sessions after that.

We then all regrouped and fought the vampiress who warned us to turn back in the first place. Our GenericMagicUser™ tried to his the Vampiress with some close range fire spell and critically failed his roll; the GM had his spell his the Druid's Staff/Familiar, effectively killing it and leaving our poor Druid weaponless and Familiarless. Despite this setback, we prevailed, only for a bigger, badder Vampire to teleport us out of the castle or something, cut me some slack, this was years ago. The GM I think wanted the Castle to be a bigger encounter, but the school year was winding to a close, so our GM decided to end things with a Bang. We ended up on a coastal cliff somewhere and suddenly Ragnarok. Half of us were possessed by Norse Gods, myself by Loki. The first thing I did was start teleporting back and forth between various pocket dimensions, cackling like a mad-ork. Our Bard started reading from some plot-related book of some kind. Being possessed by Loki (and realizing this was the end for the Campaign), I grabbed the book from his hands and popped off to a pocket dimension before he could do anything about it. Settling down in the nebulous ether of nothingness, I started flipping through the book to see what all the fuss was about, only to come to an amusing realization:

I then rematerialized in the real world, only to find that, without his book to protect him, the Bard had died from the Ragnarok. I left the book on his corpse and flew off to make mischief across the world. And all of a sudden, just as quickly as it started, the Ragnarok ended and everything went back to normal.

For a scenario that was ultimately 'rocks fall everyone dies', it was pretty awesome.

 

[Windsong]

Just got all the newest books. Gonna take my wife and a friend through the Starter Set to make sure they've got a better grasp of mechanics. Said friend likes to argue everything he disagrees with while demanding he gets to make a meme character cause 'lol itll be funny'. My hopes are low.

Starting to write up and flesh out the beginning of a campaign though.

Also isn't there already a thread for Pen and Paper/Tabletop Games stories?

 

[Jorick]

In the last session of the D&D 5e campaign I run, the party came up against the boss of the quest they were on: Kogjaw the Unbreakable, a big ole Orc wearing a crazy strong suit of magical Dwarf-forged armor and wielding a huge warhammer of similar make, both with fancy glowing runes all over them. They were able to find out that they were made by the same Dwarf who created a magic amulet they found earlier, which was sentient and pretty damn powerful, and they came to the conclusion (correct, as it so happens) that the armor and weapon were gonna be freakishly powerful. They attempted to sneak in disguised as Orcs and Goblins (for the shorter members of the party) with the intent to sneak up on the big baddie and wreck him, but poor acting and an Orc shaman with truesight foiled their plan.

Kogjaw was one of those guys who really love to fight, the type who lives for a titanic struggle rather than wanting to just crush everything underfoot. Plot things made him aware that there were intruders coming, and he was convinced that they would be great challengers, so instead of summarily executing them he gave them all a choice: fight him and die with honor, fight and forfeit and become his personal slave, or refuse to fight and become the property of the clan at large. He presented it as an individual challenge, because that's the way he thinks. There was plenty of room (specifically his low Charisma making him vulnerable to persuasion and such) to convince him to fight the whole group at once because he was so big and strong that he could take them all, but the players just.. accepted the challenge. At this point I was extremely stoked because I knew they were going to get their faces pounded into the dirt and would need a lot of luck to even have a chance of beating this guy solo, unless they figured out his major weakness. They didn't even try to do any sort of checks to figure out his armor, they just took previous information as gospel and went into the fights hoping for the best.

The order of prospective duelists to answer the challenge was decided on by Kogjaw, and since he was none to bright he went with whoever looked most physically imposing to least. First pick was the party's male Dragonborn Cleric, and he declined the fight because he knew he had no chance, although ironically he could have won easily if he figured out the aforementioned weakness.

The next pick and the first fighter up to bat was the party's male Half-Orc Paladin, an arrogant asshole who keeps talking about having the winds of destiny behind him thanks to some visions and such convincing him that he's destined to become a god. He's the main tank of the group, plus has high damage output thanks to his Divine Smite class feature, so he seemed like one of the better choices to beat Kogjaw. Unfortunately, he had two things working against him: due to their foolish choice not to take a long rest before heading off to where they knew they'd find the orcs, about half of his spell slots were already expended so he couldn't just smite everything; due to Kogjaw's armor giving him resistance to all blunt/piercing/slashing damage as well as fire damage (and a few other irrelevant things) his Flametongue Longsword's damage output was halved from the beginning. He fought all the way up until his Half-Orc Relentless Endurance kicked in and kept him alive, then surrendered because he didn't wanna die.

Next up was the male Dwarf Barbarian, who was the other main choice for an opponent because Barbarian health pool + Rage damage reduction against blunt weapons + Path of the Berserker feature Frenzy giving him three attacks a turn + his nice Greataxe + his maxed out Strength = great tank + very high chance of three hits of 1d12+11 per turn. Dude's a fucking wrecking ball who has smashed the crap out of other bosses in the past. Unfortunately, all his damage was halved by Kogjaw's armor and he whiffed quite a few attacks, and he ended up being the party's first full on death at the hands of an enemy by way of Kogjaw smashing his head like a watermelon after he was knocked unconscious. Oh, and fun side bit to explain that caveat about the death: another party member had died previously... at this Dwarf Barbarian's hands. The Half-Orc Paladin was mad that he wasn't pursuing his destiny (involving some Fey shit that sounded like he had to die to claim some great power), so a challenge of a duel to the death was made and a higher level Cleric NPC was acquired for a Resurrection spell, and the Paladin lost and got cut nearly in half. Good times. Oh, and the Paladin was right about the Fey shit requiring death, dude's coming back to life for free with some fun new shit because plot reasons, so no long term harm done except to the mental well being of the characters who witnessed his gory demise.

After seeing their buddy die horribly, the next prospective challenger was the group's female Human Monk. She declined.

Left with a choice between two remaining party members, Kogjaw next went for the Halfling Fighter, who accepted.. only to get kicked around pretty hard without making much of a dent in the guy's health thanks to having not-very-strong dual wielded shortswords. He surrendered once his death became imminent.

Finally, the party's last hope was the female Half-Elf Warlock, the one who both Kogjaw and the players saw as the least likely to present a challenge. She probably would have declined in hopes of finding a way out later instead of probably dying, but plot shenanigans convinced her to give it a try at least because surrender was always a possibility. Being a Warlock, she had limited spell slots available and just didn't see the damage adding up at all, but she went for it anyway. She threw some Blight spells at the guy and did decent damage since his armor didn't protect against it, but soon enough she was down to her last spell slot and he was still coming at her like a juggernaut, which was apt because that's exactly what he was. As her last ditch effort, she threw a Witch Bolt at him because it would be long term damage and it was her only reasonable choice left. Luckily, that triggered the armor's weakness: lightning damage made the runes, which were made and infused with very delicate lightning energy, go fucking haywire and start basically frying Kogjaw in his armor. She took the risk of evoking an attack of opportunity to get away from him, and although it hit that was fine because she made the concentration check to keep Witch Bolt going. She kept that strategy up, baiting the single attack to avoid his multi-attack by making him use Dash as his action to catch up to her, and getting more sweet lightning damage each turn thanks to the continuing spell. In the end, the last pick and last hope of the group ended up standing victorious over the charred remains of one of the strongest foes the group has encountered to date, and after single combat no less.

And that's the story of how a female Half-Elf Warlock became the new chieftain of an Orc clan numbering in the thousands, because good old tradition and law stating that whoever kills the chieftain becomes the chieftain. They set out with the goal to stop the troubles caused by the clan, and now they run the clan. GG.

 

[Grothnor]

Also isn't there already a thread for Pen and Paper/Tabletop Games stories?

Ah, so there is.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I shall proceed to tell the tale of Toti!

Toti was a relatively normal town, intended to be a brief pit-stop for our adventurers on their quest to hunt down a Necromancer Cult.
However we had one specific member of our Party, a Sorcerer named Zukaro Travon with the Homebrew race of Robot Fox (Or how he spells it "Robawt Fox! ;A;") decided to explore on his own.

This ultimately led him under a Bridge, where he ran into a group of druggies... Who for some reason had an entire barrel worth of the stuff.
Zukaro decided he was to take this barrel and dump it all into the river the Bridge was running over.
Why? Because "I wanted to see the fishes get high!"
Note: Whenever I put something in Orange like that, it's his own words.

After which he soon had to return to the Party because the others found their lead, and were heading deep underground to deal with the Cult.
Fast forward past a fairly epic Necromancer Dungeon later, and we return to the town of Toti.
Only to find every single inhabitant of the town is high, because Zukaro apparently spiked the entire towns water supply.

At first our part was just confused, and decided to keep Zukaro on close watch as a result...
But then we made the mistake of stopping by an Inn, where Zukaro instantly casted a fireball on the Inn's ceiling because "I was curious! I wanted to see if the Inn would catch on fire!".

And much like a forest fire, the fire on the Inn very quickly spread to other buildings.
And the town's residents were all too stoned to even react to this. In fact it likely slowed them down because they liked the light show.
So... Our brave, adventurous and Good Aligned party does what anyone of their calibre would do.

Rob the entire town

My Strength Crazy Orc Urik made short work of some walls, vault doors etc and with the others help and their bags of holding hauled as much gold, valuables etc as possible before it became too dangerous to stick around.
Then fast forward a few months later, where we finally found a black market with the gold to buy all these goods... It ended up being worth over a million gold. :3

​

 

[Minibit]

I played my first Pathfinder game last weekend! There were four of us, two others besides myself were also brand new.

Our characters were commissioned to gather their forces against a local crime lord who had committed some trespass against all of them

It seemed too fucking easy

So we went into town to get more information, ended up going undercover, recruiting the help of every housecat in the city, and seducing a ship captain to get the fish to pay the cats off. One character had a near drug relapse in the meanwhile. Oh and we fought a shark!

Turns out it really was a simple as go to the headquarters and fight the bad guy, our DM was nearly crying laughing xD

 

[chillin]

Again, I wish I had the time + friends to play D&D with.

This sounds real fun, though!

 

[Arcadia]

In the last session of @Malkuthe Highwind's campaign, we faced a collossal metal horse with steam for eyes, to which my Bone Elf Blood Mage character finished it off by ripping each and every one of it's legs off with animated blood, before ripping it's head clean off it's shoulders :D

 

[That Butler]

I have waaaaaaaay too many DnD stories to ever hope to tell all of them… Which is understandable, seeing as I've been playing the game for about eight years…

I'll just share one of the more recent interesting things that happened in one of my current games:


Firstly, this is from a 5e game. The party consists of Brocc (Gnome Wizard), Erik (Human Barbarian), Retka (Human Paladin), Layla (Half-Elf Bard), and Kavil (Drow Rogue). My character is Kavil.

The backstory for Kavil is that his mother was a Priestess of Lolth, but because of cutthroat Drow politics, his parents were assassinated. He narrowly escaped with his own life, having been helped to get to the surface by his mother before she died. By Drow standards, he was still practically a baby. Far too young to be on his own, but hey, life sucks sometimes.

He ended up on a ship with the rest of the party, where they met and subsequently fought with some goblinoids that tried to destroy the ship. When they reached their destination town, the Magistrate hired them to investigate the goblin, orc, gnoll, and kobold activity in the area which had limited the town's trade to practically nothing. Aside from two wizards, the folks on our ship were the only people to make it to or from the town in over a month.

After we captured a gnoll and an orc to bring back for information, we had to leave the bound captives with the guards to the higher-end part of town to deal with an emergency (a kobold raid on a farm). When we returned, our captives had been killed. As had the two guards that they'd been left with. Killed by magic, no less.

Being the primarily good people that we were, we tried to get help and find out what happened. But because we were discovered at the scene of the crime and one of us was a wizard, we were arrested and put on trial for the murders of the guards instead.

During the course of the trial, Kavil was accused of being a follower of Lolth. In order to prove that he was not a demon-worshipper, the Magistrate ordered him to go to the gnoll camp and kill their alpha (and bring back the alpha's head to prove the deed was done). Essentially, the Magistrate had ordered the kid Drow whose parents had been assassinated to go and assassinate someone himself.

Kavil did the deed, and then the party started to investigate the whereabouts of the two wizards who had been in the town (who we thought actually killed the guards). After we found them in a forgotten dwarven mine (and Kavil's face was permanently damaged by a spell), we captured them and brought them back to the forest outside the town. Brocc had been talking with them, though, and wanted to strike a deal with them because they knew some spells that he wanted to learn. He thought they'd be better off alive and helping to fight the goblin army that was on its way--according to a goblin we'd convinced to join us--so he, Layla, and the goblin went to meet with the Magistrate and negotiate.

It didn't go well. The Magistrate proceeded to fireball the goblin to death, and he nearly killed Brocc and Layla. Kavil was concerned about Brocc--who he owed his life to--so he went to make sure they were all right. He saw the Magistrate hunting Brocc, poised to kill him. So Kavil followed him stealthily, bow in hand. He took aim at the man who had made him what he despised, who got him involved in the mess that led to the permanent scarring of his face, and he proceeded to assassinate the Magistrate with a well-placed arrow in the back.

T'was nice, poetic justice.

 

[LogicfromLogic]

Characters

Reggie- Bermisian cheese addicted male that is more than half of the time high off of his ass, first biological son of Vale, God of Whateverthefuckville
Ruth- A meerkat anthro with half a face (tortured by her brother after said brother killed the rest of the family) who is a little more than psychotic, and unfortunately for her kids she hates them. She's been known to beat people to death with dead turkeys
Some blue chick I can't remember the name of because I'm too drunk to remember shit correctly right now- Has died more times than I can remember
I'm sure I'm forgetting more.


One of the scenes in our rp (while Reg was still addicted)

Everyone was running out of a castle from a beastie when Reggie found a unicorn. Now he had some fine ass magical blu cheese that he intended to snort, and he wanted the unicorn's horn for some reason. Well I rolled a '666' and blew the poor bastard (unicorn) up with demonic hellfire. Reg preceded to yank the horn off of the dead beast's head and crushed the magical cheese with it, giving it an extra flare to it because of the unicorn's magick and the demonic hellfire that just exploded it. After snorting it, Reg just kind of went apeshit.

Another time, the campaign before the one where Reg was in (I had a character, father of Rue), Archibald (another meerkat anthro creature) had teamed up with the panser of the group named Grom. Now this was actually quite unintentional as we realized how similar they were to Rocket and Groot, only Grom didn't talk, he just smashed. 'Grom smash!' he yelled as he destroyed a zombie village. He claimed abomination to Vale's mutated horse that wasn't quite a centar, Grom smash. You get the picture.
But Grom is loved mutton, and Archie tied mutton to a stick and held it in front of him. Grom isn't smart. He crushed a moogle village and one moogle alone survived (turned into a psychopath thanks to Sapphire).




There's a reason people don't join our group.​

 

[Grothnor]

Methinks the time has come to regale you with the tale of my second DnD campaign. We were playing 4e for this one, using one of their pre-made campaigns, though for the life of me I cannot find which one. The plot pretty much boiled down to "Bandits/Raiders/Reavers/whatever have invaded this province/kingdom/feifdom/lord's holdings/whatever and are being royal dicks about it so the adventurers have to do a bunch of quests to prepare for taking the castle back ending in a giant battle." However, I learned most of this long after the campaign by reading through the campaign manual, because our GM never really told us what was going on. Then again, we didn't really care either, we just were having fun being utterly troll-tastic murderhobos, goofing off and having fun with our magical toys. I mean, I got a magic carpet, someone else got an unending cask of ale (which took a permanent place on my flying carpet), and some people got gloves that let them earth-bend and fire-bend.

I can't recall any of the other characters besides mine, unfortunately. I rolled a human shaman: Gathran the Boneseer. He was the shaman-in-training for his little mountain village until one day a meteor struck in the town center (a small one). It turned out to be a skull, but not just any skull, it was an ork skull. What really made it interesting was the fact that it was talking. The locals and the village shaman avoided the hell out of it, since it was screaming indecipherable nonsense and invoking the name of Loki, who everyone else didn't want to get involved with at all. Gathran took the skull, talked to it for a while and learned that Loki had scattered the rest of the talking ork skull's bones across the world. Inferring that Loki intended for the bones to be reunited, Gathran took it upon himself to head out into the world and find them.

In case you couldn't tell, the talking ork skull was my character from the previous campaign, Big Mek Dakkasmiff.

I rolled my character to be a healer, but I soon learned that shamans are rather tricky to utilize, considering their spirit animal (or spirit misshapen-pile-of-animate-ork-bones in my case) isn't exactly a separate character. I was, however, quite useful to the party, as I had high Nature and Dungeoneering skills (nature from roughing it on the road, Dungeoneering from hunting through ruins and caves and stuff for Dakkasmiff bones). I got skills that let me use my dungeoneering to pick locks and I used my Nature skill to tame all the baby drakes we came across. I ended up with three (small) red drakes following me around and helping out in battle. One place we raided had zombies in there, and i insta-killed the giant zombie with one of my drakes (the zombies had some special rule that meant they insta-died on crits), earning the "Fuck yeah, Seaking" Award for the day.

Some highlights include finding rupees in grass, then building a small shrine and offering said rupees to Loki. Dakkasmiff named the drakes Gorsquig 1, Gorsquig 2 and Gorsquig 3 (in orkish parlance, it literally means red squig, which was the closest thing he knew in relation to drakes).

Overall I get the feeling our adventure boiled down to "We found an unending cask of ale!" "Sweet, lets get drunk and go kill shit!" "Cool!" Even if we didn't dictate that's what happened, the campaign definitely had that kind of feel to it.

 

[Windsong]

My wife, playing a level 1 halfling bard thought it was a good idea with my friend, playing a level 1 fighter, to pile up corpses of the undead and burn them.

In a cave. Beneath an old church. That they were going to restore.

This is the second session. Things are going great!

 

[Hellis]

not dnd but still Tabletop

Playing GURPS for the first time ever as a GM. Setting is a Cyberpunk Chicago. Party consist of a indian taxidriver, a russian spy turned private detective, a lesbian cop with a cybernetic eye (Played in fact by a lesbian. Not a cybernetic cop though), a transhumanist experiment named Elvis.

Now. The Taxidrivers backstory is basicly "I ended up driving he cab for these assholes. I cannot get out of it, the pay is to good and I have a gambling debt. Meanwhile. Russian Guys big on loading up on drawback to get extra points for skills. So he is a neurotic, paranoid mess as a result. With a serius chem addiction. The two of them have just been at a murder scene and the Indian taxidriver is taking them away from there in a hovercar. That's when Russia ends up failing a mental check terribly (crit failure) and becomes completely and utterly convinced they are being followed. He proceed to put a gun to Indian Cabdrivers backhead saying "If you wanna prove your not one of THEM, lose our tail"

Indian Guy knows Russia is bonkers and there is nobody tailing them. But a gun is a gun, so he floors the fuck out of it and what proceeds to happen is 20+ minute long chase scene to get away from imagined pursuers, the charachters both failing several checks that makes the Russians conviction spook the Indian cabdrive to think that "Maybe we are being followed" By the end, they have gotten CyberCop to call in her colleagues to ambush the imagined followers. The entire chase ends however, when the Taxi driver goes "I do a barrel roll!".

He is in "gyro-car". It is a flying car, but it isn't made for that kind of movement. He crit fails his roll, and the actual barrell becomes a deathspin as they plumet down into the slums.

They somehow survive, crawl out the wreckage and spend the next four sessions becoming embroiled in a turf war between two gangs. But that is a story for another time.

 

[K3l]

This one is from a 5e game run by @rusty4297 and is a dope example of being rewarded for role-playing.

So I play a half-orc [Assassin] rogue named Tugash, a person who generally resorts to violence as a first answer, dislikes most humans, and is hesitant when it comes to the use of the arcane/divine (Outside of items). So when it turns out the psychic dragon that has been tormenting the party mentally for the first couple of sessions can seemingly rip the memories from its victims, Tugash begins thinking about and regretting all the bad shit he's done. Stealing, killing, almost threatening to burn down a church, and even leaving a child to die at the hands of a dragon possessed paladin because he didn't want to risk being killed. Tugash slips away from his party with an above twenty stealth roll and makes his way into an alley. Frantic, he fails to climb to a rooftop and ends up just sliding to the ground. In distress, desperate, he ends up resorting to one thing he has shown disdain for; religion. He ends up praying to any god that could hear him, to hopefully forgive him for all the bad thing's he's done to deserve what was happening, and to do what he couldn't which was protect people. Especially those he cares for.

The result of this? His prayer was actually heard, and the entire party proceeded to level up once automatically. I would say for free but I took the magic initiate and chose from the warlock section for the role-play aspect, so either a good deity gave him some extra power or Tugash sold his soul to the devil for a free level up. Either way, this is one of my biggest D&D highlights thus far.

 

[Space Cowboy]

I tried to roll to seduce a character. She's a military veteran of 10+ years. She's hot. I'm literally Batman-- I'm even doing the voice!


Roll 1d20 Charisma check.

1.

NPC: "I don't know what you just said, but you should probably get the dick out of your throat."

Me: D:

Player: "Wait, wait-- Fortune! He can re-roll!"

Me: :D

Roll 1d20 Charisma check.

2.

NPC: "Yeah, you should really get that dick out of your throat."

 

[Razilin]

We were playing the first Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rise of the Runelords (the original version, not the update rerelease)

After many sessions of traveling the world and defeating the titular, villainous Runelord's lieutenants, we confront the Runelord/BBEG himself in a pocket dimension for the great final showdown, with the fate of the world on the table.

Cue me blasting Dancing Mad from Final Fantasy 6 (its the final boss fight theme against Kefka).

The BBEG is slinging high-level spells and flying everywhere and making himself nearly impervious via buffs while de-buffing us and launching magical death everywhere. We're a magically-buffed up party of a thief, a sorcerer, a barbarian, a druid, and a ranger using fly spells and other buffs, magic weapons, items, and spells just barely keeping pace.

its an intense battle. even for Rise of the Runelords standards. mind you, Rise of the Runelords has some of the most unforgiving boss fights and end-game encounters I've seen in quite some time...and I played Tomb of Horrors. fighting the BBEG on his home turf? this was major leagues Challenge Rating, and this bad guy earned every level of that CR.

because the GM happens to be a wizard player as well, he was more than deadly in playing out the bad guy's spell list for the most devastating effect. in the end, we actually never killed the final boss. we had to find an alternative way to defeat him, by trapping him in another pocket dimension by destroying some artifact he had nearby.

basically, the rest of us distracted the BBEG in combat while the barbarian chipped away at this artifact (which had a ludicrous hardness rating); the barbarian, who has an insane Str score that's buffed even higher, was whittling away at its 100 hp by taking out 1-5 hit points at a time, maybe occasionally 10 hp if he critted.

one by one, each of the other characters got mazed, slain, or knocked out of the sky. my squishy, but powerfully buffed, sorcerer had to eventually take on the BBEG mano-a-mano for as long as possible while the barbarian continued his task of breaking the artifact.

and wouldn't you know it?

we were down to the wire when the artifact finally exploded and the BBEG got trapped in a pocket dimension.

VICTORY!...by a hair!

I felt the need to play the Final Fantasy victory fanfare for that epic win.

 

[Minibit]

That moment when a DM tries to play a character "charming" and....

The Paladin rolls for Detect Evil
both the girls roll for Sense Motive
and the conman fears competition

xD