I think I have been thought of as a creep several times (not here, hopefully). Definitely not stated, but if it ends with ghosting, then I assume it was because my partner gets creeped out.
Right out of the gate, I got some weird kinks, so I usually preface my introduction post with my F-List, question if they'd be up for sexual content, several specifics, before then going to the details of the RP itself. I do always add 'if you're not comfortable with this, then I don't mind not including it' to the questions, but I don't know if this just adds to the creep factor or the previous part is already too creepy for them. Of course, I try to word it a bit more formally than just 'hey you down for xxxx', but again, dunno if this just adds to the creep factor, or perhaps I sound like one of those 'nice guys' archetype.
I do also always say that my preferred story/smut ratio is 80/20, but then again I guess more than half of my intro post would be questions about what you're fine with and what you're not fine with, so I guess this might be seen as a red flag as well.
My main reason for doing this is so that we're clear on the get go, so we can discard those aspects, and focus on the aspects that we'd like to explore. I've had some RP where both of us already had invested quite a bit of time with the RP, then suddenly my partner, or I, dropped some unwanted fetish down the line, and pretty much ruined the RP. So rather than have that, I'd rather show what could my partner expect in the future, and if they don't want in, then it stops there. A bit sad that it was ignored from that point, but I can't force anyone to RP with me.
So I would appreciate some input as well to this approach from other user as well, because this has been my go to approach for a while now.
As for the questions, it is mostly a rehash of other's answer though:
- What are some things you see in interest checks or request threads that throw up the creep red flag for you?
When the focus of the entire IC/RT is only the fetish list without any prompts whatsoever. I also usually judge the thread from the title. If your title sounds general and creative enough that indicates there's several ideas within the thread, I'd click it, but a specific title (other than those that definitely doesn't interest me theme wise) can get a bit creepy for me, especially if it sounds like an R-18 craiglist ads.
- When you're chatting with a potential new partner, what are some comments or questions that start to make you uncomfortable?
Asking for personal infos, calling pet names (even 'baby' or 'babe' is a bit off putting for me), too much OOC stuff, especially when it starts going into your own personal life and problems that not everyone can relate to, and basically most thing that indicates that we're going to be more than RP partners. I'm quite the introvert, so I am not comfortable with people getting close and personal, especially through the internet. OOC stuff isn't bad, but our interaction should be as RP partners first and foremost, then internet pen friend later.
- What is your advice for the perfect way to approach a new partner without sounding creepy?
Guess I can't really answer this since I'm not sure my way is remotely right or not.
- What are some things that bother you, but you don't think bothers other people?
Not much in term of creepiness, but RP wise, I do get a bit miffed when people obviously skimmed through my reply to get to their reply. Isn't usually that obvious, but I can tell if they skimmed my post if they missed a hint that I dropped throughout my post. I don't usually like to obviously show what my character felt, and usually would just drop hints of certain actions, perhaps an unusual body gesture (shivering, fidgeting, scratching, that kind of stuff), or through expression. I like doing this 'what you say isn't what you feel' routine, so most of the time I detect this skimming is through these, because if they only go through the spoken dialogue, then they'll miss the other part.
- Do you think flirting out of character with your partner is appropriate?
No, mainly because I don't even think flirting anywhere on the internet is appropriate. I don't mind raunchy jokes, or playful teasing after we've become more of a friend, but anything directed to further our relationship is not ok in my book, whichever part of the internet you're on.
- Say you have had a partner for a long time, but suddenly their behavior started to creep you out. What started it and how do you think it could've been avoided?
Perhaps it was the topic of the RP, and the closeness between the writer OOC. Starting off, they'd think that a lot of stuff is off limit, but once you RP further, perhaps getting into one or two smut scenes, and perhaps with some raunchy jokes or light teasing OOC, they'll start feel like the boundary is getting pushed, and then one day, it was one push too far. Honestly I don't know how to avoid this, other than completely avoiding OOC interaction, or keep the OOC interaction really vanilla and tame, but you could definitely try to rectify it but communicating it with your partner. If they backed off, then the RP can continue, but if it turns into a debate, then time to move on.
I do however, want to ask/add a question to the list as well. Slightly more personal, but here goes:
Do think that a creep is worth a 'No' reply?
Depending on the reach of said person, perhaps there's just too many PMs and messages to respond to, but would you find responding to a creep, completely out of courtesy, is something worth doing, perhaps even showing what creeped you off? Personally, if I get a red flag message, I'd reply with a simple no, and if they actually brought some story to the table, I'll ask if they'd still be up for that story without that creepy aspect. I get that people don't owe you a reply, but I feel that if you try to point out what went wrong, perhaps in the future they'll try to refine their attitude.
