Childish Lies

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Minibit, Jun 1, 2014.

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  1. What white lies or misconceptions did you believe when you were a kid? I believed:

    • Chocolate milk comes from brown cows
    • The turn signals in the car tell mom which way to go
    • Credit Cards are magical sources of money
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    • If you put food up your butt, poop would come out of your mouth.
    • The reservoir/lid on the back of the toilet is actually a little shelf for snacks or reading, and you should be facing it when using the bathroom.
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  2. Continuing a bit on Seiji's bodily function theme...

    • If you poured a liquid into one ear it would come out the other one
    • If you blew your nose too much your brain would come out
    • Your tongue would turn black if you told a lie
    • Eating too much chocolate causes acne to break out (Hahaha, silly me, how could I have believed something so stupid?)
  3. When I was three, my brother told me that there were parts of the world where it snowed red or green and that's why those were Christmas colors.

    I believed him for months. >:[

    That was also the year he gave me a piece of coal for Christmas. Wrapped in a box labeled "From Santa" and left under the tree.
  4. I believed being an adult was going to be fun.
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  5. The clouds were cotton balls glued to construction paper and God was moving it around so everyone could see his artwork. I was five....
    If you swallowed bubble gum it would stay in your stomach for seven years.
    Swallowing watermelon seeds meant a watermelon would grow in your belly.
    Splitting a pole meant the end of a friendship. That's more of superstition than anything though.
  6. Oh, I also believed that the world and all the people in it were just dolls controlled by a pair of playing children. When they wanted it to snow etc. they had to ask their mother for some icing sugar they could sprinkle over the world but they were only allowed to during a special time of year and so on. It was something I made up myself but eventually I started thinking it was true.
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  7. I believed my mom really did have eyes in the back of her head. When she'd have her back turned, I'd wave at her and do other shit to see if she'd notice. o__o Even when I got no response I still was convinced she saw me and just wasn't saying anything.

    I was told by a friend that men could have babies, it was just that they had babies out of their butts. :| I felt so foolish the day I learned that was not true.

    I also thought my toys came to life, like in Toy Story, whenever I left my bedroom. Even when we moved to new places, I'd give all my toys moving buddies and I'd throw Cheese Nips and shit like that into the boxes so they wouldn't starve. Imagine the heartbreak when I got older and realized I was being a silly dumb-dumb...
  8. If you keep making that face, it'll get stuck like that.
  9. +The washing machine would growl and make all that noise 'cause it was trying to free itself from the floor and come eat me...
    +Dragons lived in the clouds and controlled the weather for fun
    +I'd eventually grow out of Pokemon
  10. There's a black hole in the back of the dyer which steals my socks and under-garments.... oh wait, I still believe that.

    That and I honestly believed as a kid that Jesus was bowling when it stormed. . . . I do believe I've come far in life when looking at that statement.
  11. Biggest one of all time

    Show Spoiler
    Santa is real
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  12. Y-you mean that's not true?! T_T
  13. My mom used to say the face thing too. It served the purpose of giving me the desire to find the perfect face to get stuck with. Fancy that.

    My brother has told me that if toys don't have "kung-fu grip" then they would break, my muscles were actually big chunks of fat, he could beat up Bruce Lee, finally he dedicated no small part of his life to making me believe I was adopted. I actually liked this.

    Also, my mother tells me that on two occasions she saw a man dressed in a full on Santa outfit crossing a lonely street, lugging a big bag filled with stuff. Real Santa returning to his sleigh or seasonal murderer casually bringing his prized pieces of a dismembered body back to his white van? NO CLUE, but it's interesting.
  14. That if you didn't keep up with everyone on walks, that a massive hawk will swoop down from the sky and snatch you up and you'd be fed worms for an eternity. ._.;
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  15. I once believed that everyone had an autistic brother, when I was 5 and 6 of course....I didn't have any friends then either.
  16. Oh, another good one. When I was small all of our numbers in our small town began with "889". For years and years I assumed ALL phone numbers started with "889". My cousin destroyed that idea one day during a convo about our home phone numbers.
  17. I used to think that buses grew on trees, small buses were buses the were picked too early, and the big parking lots where they park buses were bus farms.
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  18. There was a monster that lived in the bathtub drain which is why the water went away was because the monster drank it.

    Or my Favorite:

    Sister: "There's a kink in the hose. Why don't you see if you can see it?"
    Me: Peers down hose. "I don't see---" Face full of water.

    I fell for that one for years. So I think it counts
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  19. Clowns lived under my bed and if I got out of bed after bedtime they would eat me.. I think I believed this until I was like 12 because I'm terrified of clowns and I didn't want to test it... Also a friend of mine used to tell me that a monster lived in the toilet and if I took too long going potty then it would come out and bite my butt and pull me in.. I think I was like 7 for that one.
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