Can't get any partners, what am I doing wrong?

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Isho13, Mar 14, 2015.

  1. Hi, I don't know if this is the proper forum to post this, but here I go. I'll list the things I've been doing for the past months, maybe half a year or 3/4 a year, looking for rp partners:

    -Reading other people's requests, see if I like what they're requesting and if I can offer it, PM them or leave a comment saying I'm interested and asking if they want to roleplay with me.

    -Posted a request of my own, with detailed information about what I like, what I don't like, what I'm looking for, and what I can offer.

    -Sent PMs to random people who said they were taking RP invites, and whose resumes seemed compatible with mine.

    Yet when it comes to it, one of these three things happen:

    -I'm looking for a certain availability, and people who said they could reply once a day, end up replying once a week if I'm lucky, right from the start, and without previous warning about something going on with their lives, etc. Or they never reply to the starter post.

    -They say they want to roleplay with me, we start brainstorming, but it becomes a one-sided brainstorm where the other won't even declare what kind of character they want to play.

    -They say the want to roleplay with me, we start brainstorming, they stop replying mid-brainstorming process.

    Help me? :( I love this site, but going for so long with only one active RP isn't that nice...
  2. Cheer up! Sometimes people just go through a slow spell. Since you asked for advice though, I'll offer mine

    • Don't freak out if people reply less often than they said they would. Sometimes real life gets in the way; I'm one of the biggest communication advocates out there and sometimes even I get so busy I forget to tell my partners I've gotten too busy O.O
    • I checked out your advertisement page, and you set a few absolutes, namely:
      • You only roleplay male characters
      • You only roleplay mxm pairings
      • You only roleplay OCs
      • You never roleplay character death
      • Your partners must also roleplay OCs
      • Your partners characters can't die, either

        There's nothing inherently wrong with having some absolutes (for example, I never write out sex scenes, and I'm not a fan of furries, either), but more than a couple not only severely limits the number of people who can work with what you want, it can make you seem stiff and uncompromising, even if you're really flexible in every other area! Impressions count for a lot when looking for partners, so I really encourage simply outlining what things you don't want in something, rather than locking it out altogether.
        For example, with character death, you might just outline what it is that upsets you about it; maybe death scenes handled in a better way wouldn't be so bad; maybe you just don't want YOUR character to die. If mortal/debilitating injuries are on the table, I'd mention that, too. Saying your character will absolutely not die in the course of the story can give the impression they'll be invincible O.O
    • While we're on the subject of impressions; I could tell reading your ad that you were frustrated. We're creative writers, and what we feel comes out in what we write, whether it's a character post or an OOC advertisement. My suggestion in creating a more appealing first impression here is to use more positive language and filter yourself a little more. It's enough to say you've had bad experiences, you don't need to air them in examples. Also saying things like "It'd be nice if" or "could you please" instead of "I expect my partner to" or "My partner should" can sound less demanding. Since you're the one advertising, people will adhere to your preference just as much if you ask for it than if you order it.
    I hope this was helpful; Again, I'm pretty sure most of your trouble is just a slow spell, but you asked for tips, and there are mine! Your ad and attitude look good overall, but these touch-ups may help, so I hope you'll consider them!
    #2 Minibit, Mar 16, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2015
    • Useful Useful x 2
  3. Those 'absolutes' you listed, I won't change them because if my character dies, I roleplay a female, etc. I just don't enjoy the roleplay, then why would I even do it, right? e.e But the next time I post the partner searching thread, I'll make the adjustments you mentioned. I had no idea my writing could come off as frustrated or demanding, that's so different from how it sounded in my head as I typed it e___eU