Mornings were just too quiet lately. Even with the TV on-- as it always was, it felt too quiet. It left too much room for rabbit hole upon rabbit hole of thoughts. Not a good thing for a man who was a tall, lanky ball of anxiety most of the time.
This morning felt worse than most, for some reason. It took more force to get out of bed, to shower, to trudge through the routine to get ready for the day. For reasons he couldn't explain, Zander had this foreboding feeling. It was paranoia, he was sure. He could just imagine Pierce grinning and telling him it was just his imagination. Exactly the thought he clung to in which to give him the motivation to move forward with the day. Besides, having something like a mission to focus on was always great for keeping those bad thoughts and worries away.
As Zander stood in front of the mirror, paint shifting over him to create different outfits over his body, hair stood on end at the back of his neck. Eyes moving from the paint weaving into a red and white sweater vest, he glanced into the reflection of the room cast from the mirror. No one was there. His brow furrowed, fully turning to look around. Nothing. No one. Maybe ghosts.
"Go away." Zander huffed to the nothing he felt watching him. "Or I'll get Venn over here to shoo you out." He absently continued as he finished dressing. These one way conversations were oddly soothing...
Part of his work was at home, fortunately. Looking over emails, making sure he had all the information he would need for the upcoming mission. Making calls to set up support, reading over dossiers, computer work, for the most part. After that was set, he was on the move to do equipment checks while simultaneously on a conference call. Zander took on as many projects as he could, it kept him busy.
Once he was sure everything was ready, he went to the conference room to wait for briefing time. It would be a while yet before agents were supposed to start showing, and Zander was once again left in silence. Absently, he looked over the dossier, and when he got bored of that, he pulled out his phone. Blank eyes scrolled through a random art forum, and after seeing someone's painting of a ghost, he was reminded about his apartment. Right, Venn. Since he had time, he found the angst kind's number and sent a quick text.
[ Hey, I think my quarters are haunted. Or I'm crazy. I don't know. Anyways, mind checking it out? It's scurry. ] He stared at his phone, knowing full well there would be no instant reply. Hell, Venn would probably see this a week from now, and Zander might be ghost fodder by then. Chewing his lip, he typed up another. [ There's one of my world famous fruit smoothies in it for you if you do. Pleeeease. ] Maybe two texts will get his attention better. Probably not.
After what felt like a good, mind numbing fifteen minutes, a notification alert snapped Zander out of it. His work email, he expected it it be a response to one of his requests. Not thinking anything of it, he opened it up and skimmed over it. A breath caught in his throat as he read the first few words. It wasn't a response, that was for sure.
'. . . after much investigation, the case to find Agent Sterling is in processed to be on hold as we . . .' yada yada '. . .attached are two forms, Relations Status and Housing. In the event that the case is closed, it is suggested that we update . . .' Zander sat up as he re-read the email, his chest getting tighter. They were giving up. It hasn't even been two whole months and they were already giving up. Did they have that much doubt? Then to make matters worse, they are suggesting he do the same.
"You send me this now of all times?" Zander muttered, voice cracking with emotion. Of course he was going to deny the suggestion-- he knew better than to give up. It still didn't make him feel better. His emotions were a mix of so many spectrums, but it seemed as though anger was outweighing the rest.
Focus on the mission, worry about this later. Zander mentally prepared himself, temporarily smothering his uneasiness. His usually positive mood and easy-going expression was completely gone, however. Replaced with the darker, taut expression of held back frustration.
This was not going to be pleasant for anyone near him today.