From: "denise stracey" <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: "greg corcoran" <email@example.com> I feel compelled Greg ,to give you some insight and observations of Sat 5th June, when you walked out of my son's wedding .Your Mum arrived ,with joy and excitement saying "We have been looking forward to this for months" She was looking forward to the opportunity of sharing with those closest to her an event full of love and hope . She was looking forward to a bit of fun and laughter in her life . She was looking forward to seeing you ,her much loved son .She was looking forward to spending time with those who care ! Despite her sustained effort she left bereft ,saddened and anxious . It was because of you . In that gathering of excetionally bright people there were many that had experienced profound loss in their lives ... all of them different , all dealt with ,or not , in idiosyncratic ways . For the sake of friendship ,family, compassion , understanding and love, they put their loss aside and stepped into the affirmation of a life enhancing experience . They moved beyond their own grief or sad experience and shared . They took the hand of friendship and returned the life force . I think that your behaviour was totally unacceptable and self indulgent . This view is shared by the family . It does not matter to your cousins if you behave in this way . It does not affect their lives .They are astute ,comprehending and have done their part and will continue to extend . Its time you did .!It does matter to your mum ,Ross your Dad your Nan . They are upset , embarrassed ,but most of all disgusted by your lack of care and compassion . Your actions were selfish and inexcusable and I am saddened that you have continued on this path. Its time for you to learn to give ! If you are angry get some help . This needs sorting . Alex is dead . Maurice is dead . They are part of our lives . We must all live our lives and be blessed by the joy they gave . Incidentally the anniversary of Maurices death was June 5th and his favourite song played at his funeral and inadvertently selected by Rory to play at his wedding was "imagine " Bernice commented on it being spooky but we smiled with the love of his memory ........ if you want to talk I am here . If you want to fume and seek sycophantic reassurance you are choosing to stay stuck . Your Aunty .... Denise From: "greg corcoran" <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: "denise stracey" <email@example.com> Well, you may interpret this as "self-indulgent", but I did what I did in order to affirm myself. It was the one honest thing I could do, because speaking my mind or acting my heart would only get me more blank stares and nervous uncertainty. No one there really knew who I was. My mum wants me to be like my cousins. And eveyone else assumes I need to be paired up with the nearest available girl. They either try to "fix" me or "ignore" me, and I've wasted too much of my life trying to fit into other people's moulds. I've found in Cornwall a life that I want, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me see it. But that life has light and darkness in it, and I want the freedom to walk away from a wedding and defy the expectations of my family. So I'm neither proud nor sorry, and I'll embrace the consequences of that. From: "greg corcoran" <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: "Janet Corcoran" <email@example.com> Okay, here's how I see it. All four of us have found ways to cope. We've modified our realities and created monologues to live by. Most of the time, these worlds exist in harmony. But sometimes they clash. This was one of those times. It had nothing to do with insulting anyone or snubbing the wedding. I did it because I was drowning. Too much expectation, too many blank stares, too much match-making pressure from Denise, too many people wanting me to be like my cousins. Walking out was the most honest thing I could achieve. Trying to explain how I was feeling, trying to speak my mind or trying to act my heart was impossible in that setting. I've seen a life that I want for myself, and it's a life of light and darkness, where I can walk out of weddings and defy expectations. You may call it selfish. But I've wasted too many years trying to fit into other people's moulds. So I'm neither proud nor sorry, and no love has been lost. So where do we go from here?