Alright, alright, enough.

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Brovo, Jan 1, 2016.

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  1. @Marchosias Yo, we've been passive-aggressive towards each other enough I think. When it was just one thread, it was an amusing encounter. Now it's gone on for several threads though, even threads where it made no sense. We could continue to escalate, but I don't think that's necessary. You don't strike me as someone who wants to pick fights with people, and I've been going out of my way to pick fights with you.

    That's not right.

    I've been preaching my own moral superiority and bashing you over the head with words of tolerance in an intolerant way. I suppose you could say it's ironic, it's not lost on me. It took someone else pointing out that I was behaving like Asmodeus certain members we don't talk about anymore to realize in hindsight what I was doing. I was bullying you.

    So, here's my public apology, since I've been picking fights with you in public. I'm sorry. I disagree with your views vehemently, but that's no justification for me to bully you like I have been. It's about time I swallowed my own cookie cutter phrases and be the better person here. Not superior to you, but equal to you. We can both get along here, and I don't (nor should) terrorize you because I think your views of the world are wrong.

    Also, I suck at apologies. So. I have no idea how to end this... Peace ferret?

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  2. Wel... I like to think nothing can suprise me much anymore, but this definitly qualifys. The last thing I vas expecting vas for you to apologize. You striked me as a arogant, insuferable, condescending, self-righteus asshole. The very type of person that takes the top-spot on the "getting on my nerves" scale, and trigers my argumentative instincts. And since I culdnt get in-your-face and tell you exacly vhat I think of ppl like you w/o mincing vords (us being on the oposite sides of the vorld), I spontaneusly resorted to something I *hate* doing, too. Passive-agression in return. I hate that shit. Vhen I want/need to be, I'm actively-agressive and blunt to a fault. Oherwise, I'm actualy a prety easy-going person most of the time. Your right, I dont pick fights with ppl, unles they pick a fight vith me. They do, ther mistake.

    Aniway, yes. We are polar oposites, in terms of world-view, and we'l never see eye-to-eye. But honestly, I didnt feel bullyed at any time during our verbal sparring. it vas just a at-times... heated... form of discussion, vith some rather annoying tendency you had to adopt a "moraly-superior" position. That vas my main gripe vith you, since I have zero tolerance for being patronized. I dont belive verbal exchange of any kind can ever be considered bullying, I generaly dont let stuff like that get to me psychologicly, I'm anything but sensitive, I firmly belive one can only bully another person physicaly. But to say you were EXTREMELY anoying, even borderline-infuriating at times, yes. All of that only hardened my own positions, and maked me less wiling to entertain your point of view, as wel as adopt a increasingly antagonistic stance tovard you in general. And in the last thread, even made me finaly cross that line in-to passive agression, behaving petty and a litle childish.

    So.

    I accept your apology, Brovo. :huge: Thank you. And I'l be honest, apologizing isnt my strong-point, either. But for me its more a side-efect of my sometimes-over-the-top stuborness. Time to retract my claws. Peace!

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  3. You fucking pansies.

    Less sorrying, more shit flinging. >:[
     
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  4. [​IMG]
     
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  5. New year, new start. Cheers!
     
  6. [​IMG]
     
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  7. This type of incident has happened before. Brovo and I got into a very loud shouting match over the finer points of philosophy. A little while later, Brovo apologized generally and I forgot about it. Later, he admitted in a thread that he sometimes antagonizes people for the hell of it (it was in a thread where he describes his mental model of the world of things as assigning numbers to them, so he takes on a "-1" to balance out a "+1" or something) - and, again, later confirmed my quirked eyebrow by espousing a viewpoint that I had taken, in our shouting matches, to other people, when talking about science vs. philosophy.

    I am beginning to think it is a chronic issue. Unfortunately, it seems like GChat is subjected to a garbage masher past 5 pages so no one will be able to tell if I'm just stirring the shit for fun or if I'm telling the truth.
     
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  8. coughSociopathcough
     
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  9. Funny enough, actually, my therapist through my teen years kept trying to figure out exactly what was wrong with my head. To date, the closest I've gotten to an answer is "something likely related to psychopathic symptoms but with no certainty of genetic triggers or traumatic social events being the causation." IE: Certain social cues and other such devices are typically beyond my understanding even if I can mimic them to some degree.

    I just don't wear such things on my shoulders, because it's no excuse for my behaviour. I can do better, I just often struggle to convince myself why I should. So every once in a while it doesn't hurt for a friend to slap me when I'm doing something stupid because I can't see it, or to take a step back myself so I can evaluate my own behaviour patterns to pick apart flaws and attempt to triage them. :ferret:

    As for the observations from @unanun the answer is "sort of", I guess. The whole "+1/-1" system is about half-right. It's more associating a value to a behaviour and then attempting to pursue/avoid behaviours more based on that as opposed to whatever emotional result comes from it. So less of a "+1 for doing a good deed to erase a -1 bad deed", more "this action is -2, and thus should be avoided altogether. This action is +2, so it should be pursued more." It's a little more complicated than that, but I admit I have difficulty explaining it. I'm surprised you even remembered it.

    Also note that I stopped picking debates with you. The actions related to discussions I had with you changed to accomodate a more peaceful set of resolutions. Rather than object to things you said, I changed the behaviour type more towards inquiry and non-answers. Like "what do you think of X?" Or "that is interesting and I never thought of it that way before", or "I will try thinking about that next time." I have a similar mindset adopted towards Ozzy as well. I'm liable to adopt it towards Marchosias, as it seems the more productive course. (IE: +2 to this, -2 to previous actions.)

    As for "espousing a view similar to yours", that's called "learning." When I see a viewpoint someone else espouses, even if I disagree with it, I typically do actually try to understand it. If, later, I find that such a viewpoint, given some contemplation, is superior to a position I've held prior, I replace it and move forward. Otherwise I would be stuck in a rut: Never growing, never learning. If someone disagrees with me, one of four realities exists.
    • A. I am wrong.
    • B. They are wrong.
    • C. We are both wrong.
    • D. We are both right.
    I hope that clarifies some things for you. And, no, I'm not going to accuse you of stirring the shit for making an observation. I actually rather like it when people have constructive criticisms for how I can improve. Admittedly stings the ego, but most good lessons do.
     
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  10. Woooopeaceandloveandpuppiesferrets!
     
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  11. [​IMG]
     
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  12. Okay unanun, I love you but is this really necessary? *shove his grumpy ass back to Ilium* Everybody's got their faults and we should acknowledge that. Instead of making something postive negative, let's keep this thread what it is - a little bit of positivity. We've had enough shit in the last year, let's not start the new year with more.

    If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all.

    O____O *Ties @Seiji up and makes him watch Bambi*


    Happy New Year @Brovo , this thread is a nice thing to see.
     
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  13. This is a relief to see. I've been seeing all these unhappy threads popping up lately, and there was so much passive-aggressiveness directed at people. Or more specifically, @Marchosias.

    I don't agree with your ideas and opinions, Marchosias, and I don't think I ever will. But I support your right to state it, so long as you don't shove it down other people's throats as the one true 'right' idea or opinion. Sadly, I don't think you will ever get very much support in Iwaku. We're a very liberal community and we support cultural diversity. I'm sad to see all these barbs getting thrown at you, and as much as some of your posts have also gone strongly against my own beliefs that is not the right way to make others see their point. This goes both ways, you should also take care not to force yourself on others.

    But that's beside the point. I don't take part in these debates and discussions often because I hate to clash with other people. I am glad, however, to see you and Brovo making attempts at amends.

    ^^; I've been gone from Iwaku on vacation for the past week, so seeing all these threads pointed out to me... Meh. I'm actually kind of glad I was away for most of it. Hopefully things will lighten up for everyone and there won't be as much negativity around. It's a new year and there are always opportunities to start anew.
     
  14. Yes I noticed. Just makes it more fun for me to provide a countering view-point!
     
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  15. <_<...
     
  16. I debated for a long time whether or not to mention it, but I decided to because noticing trends can sometimes provide deeper insight. I did my best to seem light hearted about it, but with subject matter like this it's hard to dice it. I am not one to judge you Brovo, but I like your attitude. Happy New Year.
     
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  17. You forgot the fifth reality:

    • E. It doesn't matter.
     
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  18. I used to be rather guilty of starting a ton of shit-flinging debates as well.
    Brovo, hell anyone from the Old Guild can you tell you about those days.

    Admittedly sometimes I get too heated and still end up starting shit but when I first joined Iwaku I made an effort to not be in such hostile debates, and more recently I've been trying to take the approach of avoiding such topics entirely if there isn't already a track record of the thread going in a positive direction.

    I think it's important to try to remember that regardless of one's feelings towards an individual there's still a human being under there. One who went through a unique set of experiences to get where they are (note I basically just ripped off something @Hana said earlier there), that everyone is human and prone to mistakes, fits of anger, aggression, or going through less than favourable stages in their life. And it's fine if people don't agree with one another, let's just not start having it divide us as people over it.
     
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  19. You know Brovo, after reading this piece by you, my unnecessarily negative perception of your character has radically shifted to a far more positive position. The grudge became flat-out obsessive after the last time we butted heads.

    Oh, and I've since chilled the fuck out when it comes to engaging in exceedingly aggressive debates with people on the internet. Six months of deep (but passive) introspective reflection will do that to a person I guess.
     
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