"Dear Sonic,
Hi, this is Amy Rose again! Just writing in to let you know how wonderful you are. I always appreciate how kind-hearted and willing to help out others you are, so I included a good three dozen love poems in this package for you."
There's a single trail of ink across the paper, along with the crinkling of paper.
Jeez, finally. Hey dumb-dumb, this is Knuckles, if you couldn't tell from my elegant handwriting. I'd expect a lot of mail this year, if you can get any - turns out merging a bunch of universes is a really bad idea, because you've got like six thousand girlfriends here. It's actually kind of embarrassing how much they're bickering about you. I could probably settle the ladies down myself, but I kinda just want to watch you try to handle all this.
I for one have the perfect girlfriend, and only one of them, so there's no issues on my part - I keep a clean house, myself. Just, uhh...I don't really know why Rouge keeps glaring at me like that. Also, I'm not the only echidna anymore! Also, I never was. Man, this is confusing - can you just fix whatever you did? I know it's your fault. If you had me with you when you caused this mess, we would've probably avoided all this, which is why you should invite always make sure I'm with you to stop you from doing dumb things.
Your friend (and best rival),
Knuckles.
P.S. - I included a drawing of you from Cream with Amy's love poems, in case you need a little something wholesome after reading all the crap she wrote. I'm betting they're going to be extra gushy this year, given all the competition now.
P.P.S. - Hey! Don't not fix our timeline just you can have fun with your million girlfriends! Besides, if you try that, I bet they'd all kick your butt collectively."
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"From, Sonic.
Thanks for the heads up, Knux. And no, I wasn't going to try that last idea, don't worry. Really busy though - I wish you were here. To be honest, I don't really know how things got jumbled up. Hey, I want you and Shadow and G.U.N., all our friends and allies, and look around to make sure there's no alien robot guys on Mobius or Earth or whatever. Just trust me, there's some real bad guys roaming around. Don't want any of you guys hurt in the process."
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Jeremy sat in the secluded area of the Pathfinder's bar, its many dour patrons drinking their woes away. Turns out, it was Valentine's Day, and a lot of these people came from the Old World, or close enough. The holiday existed in the NCR, most old American traditions did, along with plenty of new world holidays, but some things just got less notable in the time between 2077 and 2281. After all, lives tended to be short outside the NCR - and love was a simple thing made simpler. If you didn't take a chance, and ask that boy or girl out as soon as possible, you might not live to get another try.
Every day was Valentine's Day too, mostly because family was the only thing you could rely on in the wasteland, that and danger. Things were safer in the NCR, but the wasteland and the end of the world still left its mark on the collective human psyche, so most people still just lived like tomorrow could be the day God decided to get the spots he missed on Earth.
He hadn't loved in a long while, but he was just like the rest of these poor sods. Staring into a glass of whiskey, hoping to ignore the pain and let the liquor drown it away.
Except, he couldn't bring himself to drink the glass. It sat in front of him, that amazing burning mixture sitting in a nice glass in front of him, but he dared not bring it to his lips, because he knew he'd be a drunken wreck not worth a damn before long. It wasn't a path he wished to re-tread.
All these people outside, those who weren't with their old or new partners, or crying happily at letters, Jeremy couldn't help but envy them. He knew he wasn't going to get any letters from home, though. Nor did he have anything to write up.
"I got spurs," Jeremy started, getting up from his chair as he sung in perfect pitch, "that jingle, jangle, jingle." The bar didn't recognize the tune, and quite honestly all thought the ranger was drunk out his mind. "As I go ridin' merrily along..."
One of the guys in the bar, some old man who'd seen better days, smiled and breathed haggardly, "Oh, ain't you glad you're single..." He had missed a piece, but Jeremy didn't care.
"And that song ain't so very far from wrong." He extended his hand to the old man, who took it, and the two began to do an appropriately old fashioned jig.
The piano man, used to the tune, began to provide his particular playing to the ad hoc band. One of the nearby men, clearly a wizard of some sort, conjured a few floating brass instruments to follow the tune.
"Oh, Lillie Belle,"
"Oh, Lillie Belle,"
"Though I may have done some foolin', this is why I never fell..."
Another man, roughly middle-aged and dressed in a long coat and tie, merrily joined in best he could. "I got spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle."
Jeremy gave him a smile and a nod, "As I go ridin' merrily along."
And the crowd sang, "Oh, ain't you glad you're single~"
Jeremy hardly stopped himself from laughing as he continued, "and that song ain't so very far from wrong."
"Oh, Mary Ann," the old regular started.
"Oh, Mary Ann," the coated man continued,
"Though we done some moonlight walkin'," Jeremy finished. "This is why I up and ran."
And the crowd sang, "I got spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle!"
"As I go ridin' merrily along..."
And the crowd sang, "Oh, ain't you glad you're single!"
Jeremy added, "And that song ain't so very far from wrong."
"So I'll jingle on along..."