A great guffaw about nothing

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Kitti, May 19, 2016.

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  1. Yeah, clever title names are hard. Sorry.

    What is your favorite/best joke? If it's super inappropriate, maybe go with your second favorite. I don't know how Diana feels about some things and I'd rather not have my little joke thread nuked from orbit.
     
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  2. Owl see how offended Diana gets.
     
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  3. Diana's feelings about a joke are less important than the site rules. Careful with those offensive jokes, else you might get a firm slapping from someone on the security team. :)

    My favorite joke is actually really tame and dumb despite my normal preference for black and blue humor.

    What's brown and sticky? A stick.
     
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  4. "I'm hungry."

    "Hi hungry, I'm Arcadia."

    8D
     
  5. Q. Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

    A. In his sleevies.

    ***

    Boy: Dad, did you get shot in the army?

    Dad: No, I got shot in the leggy.

    (Yeah, these make me laugh a lot :P)
     
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  6. My explanation was way more fun than [TOS VIOLATION] or [TOS VIOLATION].

    I don't actually think I like this joke, but I swear that whenever someone asks me for a clean joke and I panic, it's the first thing out of my mouth:

    Why didn't the ghost go to the party?

    Cos he didn't have no body to go with.
     
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  7. I've used this one, but with skeleton instead. Ghost makes more sense though :P
     
  8. Dumb joke from zombie app... it's totally clean. Why does Edward Woodworth have so many d's in his name?

    Because otherwise his name would be Eewaah woowah.
     
  9. WANNA HEAR A DIRTY JOKE?






















    WHITE HORSE JUMPED IN A MUD PUDDLE.


    -hurrdurrdhuurdhuurrhurrhurr-
     
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  10. Three spy recruits are on the last stage of their training, and are summoned one at a time. The first spy is called in and is handed a handgun and is told in the next room there is a person tied to a chair, and they have to shoot them to graduate. The first spy goes into the room and sees it's his mother tied to the chair. He refuses to shoot her, he fails.

    The second spy is called in, and same thing, he's handed a handgun and told to shoot the person tied to the chair. He goes in and sees his mother, he refuses and washes out.

    The third spy is called in, and he's given the gun and told to shoot the person tied to the chair. He goes in, and the instructors hear several gunshots followed by several muffled thuds. The third spy comes out of the room and hands the handgun back and says,

    "The handgun was full of blanks, so I had to beat her to death with the chair."
     
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  11. "So, there's a man crawling through the desert..." (feel free to google the rest)
     
  12. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    Because it was dead.

    Why did the kid fall off his bicycle?

    Because someone threw a fridge at him.

    What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

    Where's my tractor?
     
  13. One day, a little girl named Rose came up to her father and said, "Daddy, why am I named Rose?"

    He replied, "Well, when you were born, a rose fell on your head."

    Later on, her sister Lily came up to her father and asked, "Daddy, why am I named Lily?"

    He replied, "Well, when you were born, a lily fell on your head."

    Later, their third daughter came up to her father and asked, "UGHHHAFJAHDJ MANFGHNASNVJDNFG?"

    He replied, "Shutup, Fridge!"
     
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  14. Another classic.
     
  15. Someone should write these down on paper, because they're tearable!

    My kind of jokes are too punderrated!

    All of these were punintentional!
     
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