<v:shape style="Z-INDEX: 1; POSITION: absolute; MARGIN-TOP: 13.95pt; WIDTH: 138pt; HEIGHT: 184.5pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 2.65pt; mso-position-horizontal-relative: text; mso-position-vertical-relative: text" id=_x0000_s1026 type="#_x0000_t75"><v:imagedata src="file:///C:\DOCUME~1\FUJITS~1\LOKALA~1\Temp\msohtml1\01\clip_image001.jpg" o:title="4052491265_accaef801d_o"></v:imagedata><w:wrap type="square"></w:wrap></v:shape>Lydia starred out threw the hospital window, this was unbelievable. She was about to die. The doctor had told her just an hour earlier that they couldn’t do anything about the cancer, she would die in a year, less if she was unlucky. She was eighteen years old and shortly after she would turn nineteen she would die. She maybe wouldn’t be able to even see her nineteenth birthday. Why did some people die so young? It wasn’t fair at all. Lydia had forced herself not to cry, she had forced herself to stay calm. She would die even if she hated it, even if she cried over it, nothing would change that fact. She would be forced to leave her friends behind, but if she distanced herself from them then they wouldn’t like her anymore. Then they wouldn’t take her death so badly when it came. A plan formed in her head, she wouldn’t talk to anyone, she would be cold to everyone, she wouldn’t let anyone in because if she did then they would get hurtened when she left this world. Four days later she got out of the hospital, she had waited for this moment for so long. She had been in the hospital for three weeks, it was so boring in there. Mostly she just looked up in the white painted cieling and didn’t do anything. But now she would be able to go back to school. It was weird that she wanted to go to school, she wouldn’t talk to anyone anyways, why did she even need to study? She wouldn’t live long enough to use the information she learned. Well, it was better to study than not doing anything at all during the days. And even if she couldn’t talk to her friends she could at least watch them have fun and smile, she could remember the good times they had together. The way she was doing this would hurt them, but it would hurt them more when she died if they were to close. She walked towards the school, hadn’t her friends told her that some knew guy had started in their class while she was in the hospital? She had talked to them a lot before she got to know that she were going to die, but after she got the news she didn’t let anyone visit her if they weren’t her family members. She felt really bad for ignoring everyone but she didn’t have any choise. Walking in to the classroom she saw a guy sitting there, someone she had never seen before. Her friend had been right, he was really hot. Not because she cared, she wouldn’t let anyone in to her life again, she couldn’t let them get hurtened. Lydia walked past the new guy and towards her own desk, it was just beside that guy. She hoped no one would talk to her because if they did then she would need to ignore them, or maybe say something mean to them to make them let her be. She didn’t like to hurt people or be mean to them, she wasn’t that kind of person. But as long as no one talked to her it would be good, then she could feel at ease. <o:p></o:p> Sitting in her desk her thoughts went in to a different direction, 361 days left to live, if she were lucky then it would be more if she were unlucky it would be less. But for now she would count everyday she had left from the day she got to know about her death sentence. What would happen with her after she died? Would there be a heaven and hell and if there were which one would she end up in then? Maybe there wasn’t anything after death, would she forget this life and just disappear in to nothingness? It scared her to think about this things, she was scared of death. She didn’t want to die, she wanted to live like all the other teenagers. Why did she have to die? What had she done to deserve to die? There was so many other people in her class, in the school and in the whole world that deserve to get sick and die more than her. But she understood, even the nicest of people could get sick and die or get in to an accident. She wasn’t the nicest person in the world but she wasn’t a bad person. Why was she thinking about these stupid things? She should just concentrate on the lesson instead and get her mind of death and all things related to it. The teacher hadn’t even came yet, on a normal day she would talk to people but she couldn’t now, then she would be friendly and they would get more hurt when she died. One of her friends walk towards her and started to talk but she turned her head away and looked out of the window. When she noticed that Lydia wouldn’t talk to her she started to walk away while whispering some stuff about Lydia being weird. Who cares, it was better this way anyways. They wouldn’t get hurt this way.