100% Definitive Proof of Alien Life

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Asmodeus, Oct 14, 2015.

  1. I wrote this myself, while working at NASA. I claim full and direct ownership. This is my property, and there is no other source except my hard drive.

    Since its first light in 2009, the Kepler Space Telescope has been scanning the cosmos in search of habitable worlds beyond our Solar System. During its routine observations, the telescope observed something very unusual. Nestled between the constellations Cygnus and Lyra, sits a strange and intriguing star.

    Kepler is designed to observe stars and look for tiny dips in their brightness. These dips, especially if they repeat, can be a sign the star has one or more planets orbiting it. By measuring the timing and the size of the dips, scientists can learn a great deal about the transiting planet. The data is then processed automatically by computers with algorithms designed to look for repeating patterns – a sign that something is orbiting the star.

    Kepler focused on this one region for four years, observing as many as 150,000 stars simultaneously. Due to the massive amounts of data collected, Kepler scientists rely on “citizen scientists” through a website called Planet Hunters to help them scour the data for anything unusual. In 2011, one star in particular was flagged as unusual.

    Kepler observed the star KIC 8462852 for four years starting in 2009. Typically, orbiting planets only dim the light of their host star for a period of a few hours to a few days depending on their orbit. A group of citizen scientists noticed that this star appeared to have two small dips in 2009, followed by a large dip lasting almost a week in 2011, and finally a series of multiple dips significantly dimming the star’s light in 2013.

    Tabetha Boyajian, a postdoc at Yale, told The Atlantic: “We’d never seen anything like this star. It was really weird. We thought it might be bad data or movement on the spacecraft, but everything checked out.”

    The pattern of dips indicates that the star is orbited by a large, irregular-shaped mass. If it were orbiting a young star, this mass might be a protoplanetary disc, but KIC 8462852 is not a young star. We would also expect to see the presence of dust emitting infrared light, which hasn’t been observed. So what is this orbiting mass? Scientists predict that whatever it is, it had to have formed recently as it would have been pulled in by the star’s gravity and consumed.

    Boyajian recently published a paper offering several possible explanations for the bizarre transits. The leading theory is that a family of exocomets passed too close to the star, and were shredded into pieces by the star’s massive gravity. The remaining dust and debris could be left to orbit the star.

    But researchers from UC Berkeley’s SETI Institute think it could be something else entirely: They think this could be a sign of alien technology. Boyajian is working with SETI and Jason Wright, an astronomer from Penn State University, to develop a proposal to observe the star with NRAO’s Green Bank Telescope to search for radio waves. If they detect anything intriguing, they then have plans to use the Very Large Array (VLA) in New Mexico to listen for what could be the sounds of alien technology.

    The first observations are estimated to take place in January, with a potential follow-up planned for next fall. Of course, if they stumble upon something incredible, the researchers could expect to follow-up with the VLA straight away. Kepler also plans to observe KIC 8462852 in May 2017, when the mass is expected to transit the star again.

    So there we go. Alien life proven. Nothing to debate, and you can't anyway, cos of muh tagz. So instead, let's discuss how we shall greet the aliens when they teleport directly to us in their teleportamatrons. Will we shoot them on sight? Will they steal our jobs? Will they check their privileges?

    Much to discuss, my friends.
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  2. I am pretty sure the aliens are gonna roll us down just like Spain did to South America. =____= We're all dead and fucked.
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  3. They'll demand McNeal.
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  4. Diana, I see you're the bastion of hope as always.

    As for the question proper, truth is, I don't know. In fact, anyone saying anything other than "I dunno, maybe something," is pretty much a liar. Or, you know, maybe has an opinion actually pertinent to what was asked. Really, without any information to go on; What the aliens are, how they behave, are they even life by the standards of earth; The most reasonable thing I could think of is the same as Mrs. Doomsayer up there, they'd go full conquistador on our unsuspecting mayan asses. Even if only by accident.
  5. Rape anything and everything (minerals, water, people, etc), and then get defeated by the British?
  6. And then the second coming of Simon Bolivar?
  7. I see what you did there.
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  8. Frick off, aliens. We don't have time for you. Unless you're robots.
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  9. Yeah, probably.

    They'll also look for the Fountain of Youth in Florida,, and be scared off by the natives:

    Old People and Disney.
  10. I rather think the tables will be turned from popular culture ideas of superior aliens. I honestly think that if there is gonna be any war-mongering race of murder-beasts invading and destroying lesser beings, I think it will be us.

    I mean, I'm all for it;

    "We come in peace Earthlings, come, join our galactic council of life and frie......"

  11. Well at least the people with the alien fetishes or the doom sayers of the alien apocalypse are probably gonna have a fun time with that. And now my awful brain is thinking what would happen if aliens ever discovered human porn that focuses on screwing aliens. They may just leave like how you back away slowly from that person at a party you think is cool at first then they say something that raises all the red flags.
  12. What, people need more proof than Dennis Rodman and Carrot Top that aliens exist?
  13. Humans don't even need to be stronger than everything else, if something is stronger than us in any regard, we try to control it. Our sheer ability to control other intelligent life is terrifying. And even when we can't control something, we can play around the aspects that make it strong. Someday soon, we will be able to make better versions of ourselves.

    If there were a sci-fi I'd enjoy, it would be meeting aliens that behave like better versions of us.
  14. #15 Tegan, Oct 15, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2015
  15. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it, colonials, let the British sort it out.

    "I know you say that planet is yours, aliens, but what I'm saying is did you put a flag on it?"
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  16. ...How far is this star from our solar system? Even if we do manage to establish contact, it'll be just like every other painful, long-distance relationship of sending emails and nudes back and forth for a few decades, before one species caves and develops the technology capable of long-distance space travel to hook up on the other's planet for a few weeks.
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  17. If the other planet makes lots of money from collecting debts from other planets and repossessing their raw materials as collateral, they may just have a chance.

    *wiggles Gomez eyebrows at Tegan*
  18. And maybe the other planet will throw all sense of caution and care to the wind and just say yes to that other planet, because rocket fuel is expensive anyway and if it doesn't work out, they can always deport them off-world.

    *Notices everyone is still here*

    Ahem, yes.
    #19 Tegan, Oct 15, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2015
  19. And then the other planet can orbit there, quietly fuming as earthlings ask it "Do you got that thar hydrogen whar ye come from? Are ye friends with E.T.? How d' ye keep yer planet from freezin without centralaazed global wurmin?"