10 Things Your Bartender Wants You To Know

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Hope, Mar 9, 2015.

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  1. I have been a bartender for about 4 years now though I don't currently bartend At the moment. I thought I'd share 10 things your bartender wants you to know.

    1. If you snap at me, wave your arms around like you're directing a plane landing, say "hey you", or wave your money in the air at me you will be the last person I serve. This bar here and all liquor within it is my domain. I will not hesitate to refuse to serve you if you insist on being an obnoxious prick.

    2. Don't be dumb. Bring your ID. This goes for you too, pretty girls. Batting your lashes, pouting, and sighing out of exasperation will not suddenly make me brake the law and risk our liquor license because you think you are above everyone else who was smart enough to bring theirs. Oh and you can't sit at the bar and pout either Since you have to be able to prove you're 21 to sit there.

    3. I am busy. You see there are over 30 people shoving themselves against the bar all anxious to get a drink. when I finally make it over to you know what you want! you've had plenty of time to think about it. Oh and if you say "What beers fo you have on tap?" I'm going to slap you because you've had plenty of time to look over the bar and figure that out for yourself.

    4. Don't think just because it was a busy night that we won't remember you. So when you decide to be a dick and not tip us, or god forbid, leave change which is worse, we will remember you. The next time you come in with your buddies looking for a drink you will either get the shittiest of service or will be charged double. Don't like it? Too bad. Go ahead and leave. We don't want you and your lack of tipping ways here anyway.

    5. When you say "little ice" in your drink it doesn't mean what you think it means. Little ice means you will still get 1.25oz of liquor, mixer, and a few cubes of ice. It does NOT mean you get more liquor to fill the glass up. You want more liquor? Order a double. Don't be a douche.

    6. If you leave the bar and forget your card we are going to charge it for your total bill. If you got too drunk and don't remember spending $200 at the bar then sorry. Some bars even hang a sign saying that if a card is left a 20% tip will be added to the bill as gratuity.

    7. When you're ordering drinks for a group of people, #1 know what you want ahead of time, and #2 group like drinks together. This means it's better to say "I'd like 2 beers, 2 cosmos, 3 Washington apples, 4 kamikazes, etc..." Do not say "ummmmm uh I'll take a heff... and then a bud... then a cosmo... oh another heff... and a uh oh another cosmo... etc."

    8. Don't try to get the bartender drunk. He/she is better at it than you I promise. If they are allowed to drink at the bar they know their limits. They are a professional. They will be more than happy to take a $9 shot of patron with you. It does not mean you get a break on future drinks. If they can't drink at the bar and you insist they will take the shot and spit it into a beer bottle and take the money anyway. Hey, they tried to tell you.

    9. Bartenders flirt. That's their job And they are damn good at it. Don't try to take them home. many bartenders have "no dating patrons" rule for good reason.

    10. Know your liquors. When you order let's say, patron, and the bartender asks you what kind? Don't say tequilla. It means blanco, resposado, or anejo. And when you order rum and coke and the bartender asks you what kind of rum, don't say "Absolut."

    11. Bonus. I work hard for my money. Don't bug me for freebies. If you're cool, tip decent, and don't bug the shit out of me I might hook you up. But if you whine to me about how it's your buddy's birthday and I have to give him a free shot I promise you will get nothing for free.

    Although this is all true and is all things we bartenders actually bitch about, this is intended to be humorous and enlightening. This is NOT a debate and is not to start picking away at everything I've said And disputing it. This is not the place. Just some light hearted humor. <3
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  2. That's eleven things.

    Most of them are also just basic common sense and customer service basics.
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  3. Yeah that's why I wrote "bonus" next to the number 11.

    And I take it you've never worked in the restaurant/bar industry? Lol If you did you'd know just how common idiots are and how often these things happen on a nightly basis.
  4. Worked in both actually. Was attached to a bowling alley and our generic new york stereotype bartender was flakier than a good croissant.

    Mixing drinking with a precision physical activity was always entertaining/a really bad fucking idea.

    But people are stupid, mix them with something that amplifies that and it's bound to happen. Never take my work home though.
  5. I never go out, and when I do, I always go to the bar my cousin works out. I don't have to worry about any of this. :P
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  6. Wow the job is much less romanticized in my head now

    So where's 12) bartenders are experts in flair and doing cool tricks with bottles and stuff
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  7. "That'll be five hundred dorrar."

    "Jesus H. Christ, man. All I wanted was a fucking straw."

  8. Gotta admit. That's pretty sexy. @Hope, this guy don't need flirting to get tips.
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  9. Jon Taffer would love you.
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    • Thank Thank x 1
  10. Oh don't let him fool you. See his cheeky face? He flirts. Lol its one of the fun parts about being a bartender.

    That is pretty bad ass though.

    Why thank you. I love Jon Taffer. He really knows his stuff and I like his take no shit personality. :D
  11. My kind of flair <3

  12. Ohhh what about that they are not responsible if your friend drinks to much and throws up in your car, or cab?
  13. I am glad those "KNOW WHAT YOU WANT" things specified "when we're busy" or I woulda had a hissy. O____O Since I never ever drink, when there's no other customers waiting I always ask the bartenders what kind of cool mixed drinks they know and have them make one of those. And they always seem happy to give suggestions. (and then get a nice tip! >:3) But when they're busy I just ask for rum and coke. >>

    and when I am not the designated D. I am 99.9% of the time the designated D. t___t
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  14. Lol yes I only meant that for when we're super super busy. When I have down time I LOVE hanging out with the patrons, chatting, making cool concoctions. I have no problem helping people decide when I have the time :D. It's when I have a full bar, 20 people waiting and someone goes "uhm .... I dunno... like what do you have? Can you list all your beers for me?" Lol no... no I cant.
  15. Are a lot of customers really this bad? o.O
    Well obviously, there's no debate tag. :P
  16. Yes. Yes, they're really that bad, and worse. All the things I've mentioned were typical of your average Saturday night. You should hear about the UNUSUAL stories lol. Some people... honestly.
  17. I'm glad I don't work at a bar... :/
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