DISCUSSION What do you think about gratitude as a concept?

[huhui]

For clarification, I'm not talking about those gratitude exercises where you list three things you're grateful for. But those are definitely great exercises to reduce pessimistic tendencies I think.

Gratitude as a sentiment, while it makes cognitive sense to me, is something I don't remember ever feeling in my life. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't care about positive things in my life, it's just that I've never felt "I'm thankful for this" for anything, it's always been "oh this is nice, cool beans haha."

 

[Bubs]

For clarification, I'm not talking about those gratitude exercises where you list three things you're grateful for. But those are definitely great exercises to reduce pessimistic tendencies I think.

Gratitude as a sentiment, while it makes cognitive sense to me, is something I don't remember ever feeling in my life. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't care about positive things in my life, it's just that I've never felt "I'm thankful for this" for anything, it's always been "oh this is nice, cool beans haha."

In some avenues I have actively practiced this myself a lot in the past. It was one of the therapy tools I was given especially when battling an extremely negative headspace. There's been moments where it used to solely be looking at means of passing a hard day and trying to find one good thing in the day. When things pile up and you're overwhelmed then being like: "well, shit that's something kinda okay there." It's effective in redirection, but definitely something where the attitude has to be there for it.

In the sentiment, I've been openly expressive or felt gratitude towards a few people in my own life. Or even just situations working themselves out when they do. Removing as much of the stress or even lightening a downer mood in the moment. Moments of immense support and the people around me at that time is a very big one for me.

To me, having gratitude to some of the positive people in your life and acknowledging it sometimes is the most humbling thing you could do.

 

[Nemopedia]

I believe gratitude is one of those things that grows over time. Something that you can only truly appreciate in full when you realise that it isn't a given. Whether it is because of an absence of or because you encounter a situation where it either serves you extremely well or where you realise it is an exception rather than a rule.

To give a more solid example. As a kid I always felt a level of frustration with my parents forcing me to speak in Mandarin with them. It added a layer of effort and a difficulty in expressing myself, and even a sense of shame. It wasn't until college that I understood how valuable the effort was that they put in, and rare as well. I could communicate with the international students I encountered, and when my class and I were in a country of which none of us could speak the language of but wanted to eat in a restaurant the waiter happened to be Chinese and we managed to order anyway despite the lack of English skills of the staff. These encounters, alongside the realisation that most peers that grew up abroad like I did don't speak their parents' language at all have made me grateful and even proud that I can speak the language now through the effort of my parents. It took its time, but it came.

Visually put, I feel gratitude can only be felt/seen when one has walked the path and can sense/see the distance. It is part of that moment where you are able to look back at yourself and go: How far I have come with the hopeful 'how much farther can I go'.