Roleplaying Consent - No means No!

  • So many newbies lately! Here is a very important PSA about one of our most vital content policies! Read it even if you are an ancient member!
Manna Beast

Manna Beast

I do a thing called ‘what I want.’
Original poster
5 STAR GREMLIN
STAFF MEMBER
DONATING MEMBER
MYTHICAL MEMBER
Invitation Status
  1. Looking for partners
Posting Speed
  1. Speed of Light
  2. Multiple posts per day
  3. 1-3 posts per day
  4. One post per day
  5. Multiple posts per week
  6. 1-3 posts per week
  7. One post per week
  8. Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
All day, every day
Writing Levels
  1. Intermediate
  2. Adept
  3. Advanced
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Male
  2. Female
  3. Primarily Prefer Male
Genres
-Fantasy with means of magic and sword based feelings, i do prefer a bit of romance in stories
-Modern with again a fantasy feel
-Cut in anything with a bit of Romance and I can give it a try.
The Noisy Gremlin has come out to play with a new PSA; PAY ATTENTION!

Roleplaying Consent: Asking and Respecting Declined Requests



We are all out here looking for that perfect partner(s) and it is certainly a bit of a slog at the worst of times. Iwaku is a diverse and expansive forum with all sorts of likes and dislikes. Even if you have something very particular in mind, there is likely someone out there that has the same! That's the benefit and luck of being with a large community.

However, there are often times people tend to forget or bluntly power through with a stubborn tenacity that can quickly cross over boundaries. Bullhead-ing themselves into trying to coerce, plead, whine and what have you into getting a person to roleplay. Even consistently pm'ing over and over again, can be a type of insistent badgering; on Iwaku or Discord. These types of behaviours are not acceptable in any capacity.

No is a full sentence. Period.



There is plenty of reasons someone may not wish to rp and truthfully, no one owes an explanation to why they may decline. It could be a multitude of potential reasons. Ones they may or may not be inclined to divulge. Regardless, respect and acceptance is something that looks good on any, every and all people.

Of course it is okay to ask someone again in the future if their reply is, "They are currently busy," or, "They would like to do something in the future." But naturally give them a bit of time, like a few weeks or months. Not just a couple hours or days. We've all got to respect the means of people's time and how many spoons they have.

Let's, as a broad community remember, that not everyone likes the same thing. When someone expresses they are not interested or states No to a request, they have a reason for it. There's no need to insist any further!

Now get out there, find those partners and give the Owl Mother something to read on the Forums!


Bog Gremlin OUT!
 
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I LIKE THE ORIGINAL DRAFT!
 
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Thank you for this! The original draft is a work of art for sure.
 
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What if they say no but it's with an accent?
 
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this accent?

200w.gif
 
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LESSON - Roleplay Consent, Part Two: How to Establish Boundaries

Part Two: Establishing Roleplay Boundaries It's easy to assert that we should be able to set RP boundaries with everyone and for everything, but actually carrying it out is a different matter entirely. A lot of us know we're allowed to say no to people in theory, but have a hard time actually...
www.iwakuroleplay.com www.iwakuroleplay.com

LESSON - Roleplay Consent, Part Three: Recognizing When You're Being the Asshole

Part Three: Recognizing When You're Being the Asshole Thus far I've been talking about why, how, and what's allowed when you're trying to set boundaries in an RP, but it's important to also keep in mind the other half of the equation. It can be really hard for partners to express themselves...
www.iwakuroleplay.com www.iwakuroleplay.com
 
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Dunno if this is the right place to put it, but I think it kind of fits the vibe of this PSA.

The same should be said if someone wants to end a Story plot (before the plot is naturally finished.) Sure it's totally normal to feel bummed or upset when someone wants to stop the story that ya'll have been working on (Or even just writing with you in general.) But you really shouldn't guilt-trip them into Continuing!/Staying! There may be reasons for their decision, which they may or may not elaborate on. And really, forcing them/guilt-tripping them is just gonna lead to a toxic writing partnership.
 
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CreativeLurker said:
Dunno if this is the right place to put it, but I think it kind of fits the vibe of this PSA.

The same should be said if someone wants to end a Story plot (before the plot is naturally finished.) Sure it's totally normal to feel bummed or upset when someone wants to stop the story that ya'll have been working on (Or even just writing with you in general.) But you really shouldn't guilt-trip them into Continuing!/Staying! There may be reasons for their decision, which they may or may not elaborate on. And really, forcing them/guilt-tripping them is just gonna lead to a toxic writing partnership.
Click to expand...
100% this.

And if you do need to end a story, you are not obligated to give a reason as to why in the slightest. It's ultimately not anyone's business, and when someone does cancel a story with you, you shouldn't pressure them into giving you a reason either. (Not you, Lurker. Just a general "you".)

And on that, people can take as long as they want or need to reply to a post. There's days where I might be struggling to pick up on a post for various reasons, but may have ideas/replies for someone else.

It might be that I'm struggling to vibe as a particular character that day, or that I just can't whip up a 500-600+ word response 4-5 times a day even if I wanted to do so. DO NOT BADGER people into fast responses.

Like I had someone message me about a plot and got a "Well if you're not gonna be able to reply within the next hour, you're not worth waiting up for" sort of response. I don't think I have ever expected anyone to stay up, nor would I stay up just to get someone a reply out unless I wanted to stay up.


People have doctors appointments, work, children to look after, other hobbies and commitments. Real life comes first, not some writing on the internet with a stranger. If I can, I'll tell you that I've gotta do something or that I'm gonna be on and off. But sometimes I might think I'm gonna play a game for 15 minutes, and be a few hours.
 
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SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!!!!!!!!!!! :angel:
 
CreativeLurker said:
Dunno if this is the right place to put it, but I think it kind of fits the vibe of this PSA.

The same should be said if someone wants to end a Story plot (before the plot is naturally finished.) Sure it's totally normal to feel bummed or upset when someone wants to stop the story that ya'll have been working on (Or even just writing with you in general.) But you really shouldn't guilt-trip them into Continuing!/Staying! There may be reasons for their decision, which they may or may not elaborate on. And really, forcing them/guilt-tripping them is just gonna lead to a toxic writing partnership.
Click to expand...
Too true!

My usually response is to take a moment and step away, look at silly things, cheer myself up BEFORE I respond. Then, I'll tell the truth: "I'm sad, but I appreciate and respect you letting me know. If you ever want to pick back up or try something new, I'd love to hear from you, and I hope we can remain friends!"

Cuz frankly? If they want to stop, they'll stop. If they're kind enough to let me know, I need to be kind in return.
 
Manna Beast said:
The Noisy Gremlin has come out to play with a new PSA; PAY ATTENTION!

Roleplaying Consent: Asking and Respecting Declined Requests



We are all out here looking for that perfect partner(s) and it is certainly a bit of a slog at the worst of times. Iwaku is a diverse and expansive forum with all sorts of likes and dislikes. Even if you have something very particular in mind, there is likely someone out there that has the same! That's the benefit and luck of being with a large community.

However, there are often times people tend to forget or bluntly power through with a stubborn tenacity that can quickly cross over boundaries. Bullhead-ing themselves into trying to coerce, plead, whine and what have you into getting a person to roleplay. Even consistently pm'ing over and over again, can be a type of insistent badgering; on Iwaku or Discord. These types of behaviours are not acceptable in any capacity.

No is a full sentence. Period.



There is plenty of reasons someone may not wish to rp and truthfully, no one owes an explanation to why they may decline. It could be a multitude of potential reasons. Ones they may or may not be inclined to divulge. Regardless, respect and acceptance is something that looks good on any, every and all people.

Of course it is okay to ask someone again in the future if their reply is, "They are currently busy," or, "They would like to do something in the future." But naturally give them a bit of time, like a few weeks or months. Not just a couple hours or days. We've all got to respect the means of people's time and how many spoons they have.

Let's, as a broad community remember, that not everyone likes the same thing. When someone expresses they are not interested or states No to a request, they have a reason for it. There's no need to insist any further!

Now get out there, find those partners and give the Owl Mother something to read on the Forums!


Bog Gremlin OUT!
Click to expand...
but what if…they're from New Jersey /j /s
 
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