Forbidden Love

[radioactive]

The smoke clouds from the city were barely viewable from their new home. In fact, all Caspian Varenkov could really see in the distance were walls of houses, rows of neatly mowed lawns, the perfectly aligned mailboxes, and a few daring neighbors stepping out of their own homes. Something about the new neighborhood was comforting, but at the same time a life changing choice was never easily accepted. Caspian was struggling with this ever since his wife had gotten offered a new job as a company manager – some big wig work for a publishing firm. It wasn't just forty-five minutes or half an hour from their old life, but it was half way across the country. All of these people, all of this was different.

They had taken their only child and moved for her job – something she had 'always wanted'… even if it was something he had only heard about when the offer was put on the table. Caspian scooped up the Sunday paper, and cupped it against his white t-shirt. Their three year old was likely stalking after his mother, Claire, who was prepping her hair, and heading out of the house to her beloved job. That would leave Caspian to continue setting up a few of the smaller things in the house, watch the kid, and attempt to catch up on his own online workload. Computer programming had put his wife through school, paid off his school loans, and really put them in a good financial state, but it apparently hadn't been enough for Claire – something he was still slightly bitter over.

Somehow this arrangement had made him responsible of the house, their son, and his work was being put on the back burner. The argument had been lost by him. It was something about feminism, and women being able to make something of themselves too. Once Claire had pulled that card Caspian knew there was no other option but to grin and bear it. She would be getting paid more, but it would put a larger stressor on them. Mainly because his job was worked from home, and who can really get much work done with a two year old begging for attention?

"Casss," Claire had cracked the door open, and was staring agitated at him, "I gotta go, are you sure this is a good idea? Darin is gonna need your attention too."

A half smirk rose to Caspian's face, almost screaming 'I told you so', but instead he settled for, "I tried telling you, but don't worry. I know how to take care of the little man."

With a heavy sigh, she shook her head, and opened the door all the way to let Caspian in. As he slipped in, the water works began from Darin. Claire sighed again, "And that is why I put an ad in the paper for a sitter."

The light emerald green of his eyes had been trained on his son's eyes which mirrored his, but with that little bomb, Caspian turned at his wife in horror, and annoyance,"You are joking right?"

"Well, no, I know you have a lot, and I do, and … all of this is new to you. Back at home, we had our parents, and everyone else," leaning down and kissing Darin she continued, "So, she should be here, at ten," quickly Claire pushed her lips to his, and scurried off to the car, with her briefcase in hand, "Have a good day, love you!"

Caspian stood there for a time with his jaw slack, it really brought out his features in the lighting, but Darin had already began to fully throw a fit. Which really snapped Cas out of his daze. Turning to his son he picked him up, dropped the paper on the side table, and tried to calm him down. It was the truth that he wasn't quite the best at soothing his son, but otherwise he was fine. Okay, so he had hardly done much with the little guy, but he could manage…


Forty-Five Minutes Later...

Darin was still stifling cries as Caspian attempted to soothe the boy by playing. He had tried everything from his baby blanket to his favorite toys. Caspian had previously realized that the boys diaper needed changing and had done the task - though Darin hadn't made it easy. The boy had a habit of relieving his bowls further while the diaper was off. This was something he hadn't learned from his wife, and it had resulted in a shower of yellow liquid for a good portion of the room, though it had resulted in a giggling child, instead of a crying one. As for Caspian's luck with the two year old, that had been the jist of it, and that is if you could count it as luck. The door bell rang when Caspian was in the process of bring Darin to the kitchen, to attempt food.

"Well what do you know," glancing at the clock he noticed it was a little before ten, "Guess who is here Darin."

Darin quieted, and looked to his father, "Maaa, maaaa."

As much as Caspian had wished it was her, it was someone else, but still anyone else would do. Setting Darin down in the entrance way he glanced at his wrecked white shirt, and figured there was no other way to make the current first impression. Caspian ran a hand through his thick hazel colored hair to get it off of his face, and he opened the door.

"Hello," he said with a hopeful expression.

 

[Jezzyboo]

Lisa was only the age of fifteen when they moved to the new town. Her mother had passed away from cancer, and her father was wrecked, it was just her older brother and her. But her older brother looked so much different than she did, she had a slimmed out body and long black hair that seemed to wave forever, until it reached her rear end, she had a pale face, and tattoos' littered her body, she also had a bad attitude, though her brother was blonde hair that was cut short in a spiky like way. then he was a bit on the chunkier side, with an angelic attitude. Her older brother was more like a father to her than her own father, maybe that's why she reacted the way she did...

Lisa walked home wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that clung to her every curve, and when she stepped into her loving warm home, she got attacked verbally. Her father was up in her face and she could smell booze on his breath. Lisa took a couple steps back and lifted up her hands to place her palms against his chest. "Dad... Calm down, I'm sorry... What are you saying?" His words were so slurred she didn't quite understand him until her older brother showed up with his arms crossed and a disappointed look across his face. "What did I do this time, and what is my punishment?" She crossed her arms, and moved all her weight to her right leg that was slightly in front of her left leg.

Her older brother threw his hands up in the air, "Lisa, what are we gonna do with you? We have moved every where to get you into a good school... A school that will help you and you've been fucking off." Lisa raised her eyebrows and let out a slight sigh. "Jordan, I'm sorry, alright? I just..." She bit her bottom lip, not knowing how to explain but Jordan just shook his head and laughed. "I'm sorry, but it's already been decided, you will become a babysitter because of your grades..." Lisa's mouth parted and she gasped. "You can not be serious... I hate kids!" Jordan shrugged and smiled, "I'll be driving you to their place later today. Go get dressed into something better for child's eyes."

Lisa growled lowly and jogged up to her room, stripping down to her under garments, she crossed her arms and tapped her foot angrily. and finally she decided a dress would be fine, with leggings and a jean jacket. Once she was dressed, she grabbed a bag and filled it with her school books, walking down the stairs to her brother who was waiting by the front door, and smiling. "This is gonna be good for you." He then turned and opened the door leading her to his car. Once they got inside, before starting his car he looked at her. "As soon as you get your grades up... You won't have to do this anymore, alright?" Lisa ignored him.

Once they arrived at their destination, Lisa got out of the car, and slammed the door shut, and when her brother told her to have a good day, she told him to fuck off, then she walked to the door and knocked lightly, waiting for someone to answer. When a very attractive older guy answered. she bit her lip, almost afraid to talk. She blushed lightly and nodded her head. "Hello, my name is Lisa. I am your..." Her eyes shifted to the kid he was holding and her eyes went dull from the sparkle they just were at. "babysitter..." She spoke the word in clear distaste. "May I come in, or are you gonna make me freee my ass off?" She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes.

 

[radioactive]

Caspian gave an unsure glance at the girl. The typically dark green of his eyes softened as the daylight his them, and he took in the look on her face and the number of tattoos. "Lisa," he said the word a little stiffly and clearly very confused with his eyes glancing behind her – looking for the real girl his wife had hired. Hell how could he trust this young girl with his kid? And a girl who clearly seemed uninterested in his child. The girl was stunning, even if her choice of style was a little confusing or new to him. The tone of hers shocked him though, how could someone accept a babysitting job when that tone said it all…

The snarky comment ripped Caspian from his thoughts, caused one of his brows to cock downward. The fact that the crying behind him had ceased caused concern. Instead Darin was whimpering. "Come in, but watch the language," he glared slightly back at her. As Caspian side stepped he noticed Darin standing right behind him now, looking up at the girl, infatuation written across his face, as the whimpers disappeared.

"I wish he did that with me, must be a woman thing," he shook his head slightly. Leaning down to eye level with Darin he spoke to Lisa, "This is Darin, and I'm Caspian, or Cas." Darin crawled forward, stumbling over the pile of shoes near the girl, and began pawing at her shoes. Between grabs at her shoes his big eyes glanced up at the girl. "Have you done this before?" his tone was lighter, even if he was uncertain about the girl. His eyes lifted away from his son and to the girl.

 

[Jezzyboo]

When he invited her in, she automatically stepped in and she grumbled softly under her breath, almost as if to tell him off for telling her to watch her language. But for the time being she sort of agreed with him, around the kid she'd be careful. When the kid tumbled over the shoes to get to her, her eyes shined with disgust and she looked away. "Cas it is then.. And Darin... Nice to meet you kiddo. Even though I don't really like kids... They seem to love me for some reason no wonder my brother thought of this as a good job for me."

When she felt both Darin and Cas's eyes on her, she turned her head to let her dark eyes rest on Caspian. "You mean have I watched over kids before? No. But I know the basics, listen, sir... the only reason I'm doing this is because I'm being punished for bad grades... My brother just told me about it when I got home from school today." She sighed and crossed her arms, then she bent and picked Darin up, and whispered softly. "Is your daddy always so... curious?" She grinned placing the kid on her hip she looked to Caspian. "Show me around, please?"

 

[radioactive]

The news of not liking kids was something that Caspian could understand to an extent. Before his own little one the concept of kids was something he had despised. Hell he hadn't ever even wanted one, but Claire had dropped that bomb on him, and on purpose too. She had lied to him about birth control, maybe to hook him in, or maybe because she really loved him and wanted kids. Either way, he wasn't quite on board until Caspian had seen the mirror image of his eyes on his son's face. Of course he had felt compassion towards his son when he was first born, but none of it really hit him until he saw himself in the little guy. Again the girl threw more information at him that he had really wanted. Grades, not watching kids before, and he could just imagine the rest. Suddenly his mind was racing over who the hell his wife had hired to watch their kid.

"Uhhhm," he said awkwardly in reply to her outburst.

As she cooed words at Darin he smiled and let out a squeal of happiness, as he sort of jumped on her hip, each of his arms flailing. Caspian's eyes widened at the sudden change that his son had in demeanor. It seemed that Darin really was more happy when a women tended to him than his own dad. Part of that offended him, made him feel insufficient, but he knew it wasn't intentionally personal. "Right, yea, sure," he said getting into the motion of things. "This way," he said as he walked he through the house.

It was a decent sized place, three bedrooms, one for sleeping, one for Darin, and one for Caspian's work. Two bathrooms, one upstairs and one down. The kitchen, living area, a downstairs bar area and a play area for Darin upstairs. They had a pool, a roofed patio with a hot tub as well, not that they really had used it yet.

"So that is it, I guess I should probably get to work, unless there is anything else you need or want to know?" he clapped his hands together.

 

[Jezzyboo]

While they were looking around the house, Lisa kept her hold on Darin, and she decided she would go into the play room with Darin, and read a book. Hopefully the kid would keep himself good, or else she'd give him the look. Once they were done and Caspian spoke to her, she looked at him and bit her lower lip. "Yeah, sure." She looked down to Darin and tickled his sides with one hand. "See? I'm glad I'm only eighteen, Darin, wanna know why? Because I'm not obsessed with work like other loser adults." she smirked, and put Darin down on the ground, and grabbed his hand.

With one last look to Caspian she did a motion with her hand to tell him to go get busy and then she jogged to the playroom with Darin. Once she got him interested in something she pretended to take it away only to give it back to the kid, and then she sat on the floor, and pulled a book from her book bag and opened it on a page she was reading, smiling to herself, she leaned against the wall, and read. Not really caring about the kid for now, she yawned slightly.

Although after a while she did get a bit thirsty, she licked her lips slowly, which would seem seductive to some people, but she ignored her thirst for now, she could wait until she got home.

 

[radioactive]

Three weeks had passed, and Lisa was still tending to Darin. Claire was working her usual long hours, leaving Caspian to a quiet household in the evenings when Darin finally went to sleep. Lisa and him hadn't talked much, in fact they had kept a decent space between them. Maybe part of it was due to her attitude, or maybe part of it was because she was a kid with a bad attitude, and Caspian didn't wanna deal with that now, which Darin was a perfect example of. The weekend came without reprieve, and it was Caspian's turn to head to the office for the weekend. They had called Lisa to have her do some weekend sitting, and Claire was prepping herself for a bit of work as well.

Caspian was in a black suit with a yellow tie when the door bell rang. He was attempting to tie it, but instead settled on opening the door. "C'mon in Lisa," he said as he continued to fiddle with it. She was nothing but a kid she had no idea how to tie one of these, he would wait for Lisa, which threatened him to being late. That is when he heard it. A painstaking scream, almost as if Claire had been stabbed, or injured abruptly. Without a seconds hesitation he bolted for her, fear and concern driving his actions.

"Call nine-one-one, CASPIAN," he was in the doorway, the amount of blood startling, as his hand fumbled for his pocket. Somehow Darin had fallen, and was currently in Claire's arms. A head wound… He dropped the phone before scrambling to pick it up, and finally dialing, his voice a void as he looked towards Lisa and handed the phone off to her, concern in his eyes for his only son.

 

[Jezzyboo]

After the first couple of weeks of having her brother drive her to the place, unwillingly she would watch the little brat, but after a while, she just seemed to get used to it and would walked to their house right after school. This day though she was late because she was doing something after school, she ha bought a toy with her money she earned, it was a black teddy bear with the words 'I Love You' in a big pink heart. She grinned, Darin would like this. She then walked towards the house, whistling a tune, she may have gotten less bitter towards Darin but she didn't like his dad, she thought of him as a lousy father really. But as soon, as she came to the house and knocked on the door, she saw his tie and a laugh parted her lips. she tilted her head up to look at him better.

"Oh geez, someone is trying to look good... Try a lil harden babe, you'll-" She was suddenly interrupted by a scream and just as fast as Caspian she ran after him, her heart throbbing in her chest as she kept muttering. 'Darin! Darin be alright! please!' But when they arrived at the location she almost fainted at the blood that was splattered, her eyes looking towards Claire, Darin's mother, whom she never really liked. she gulped, when she was handed the phone, her thoughts of Caspian changed, as soon as she saw that worry in his eyes. "Emergency. Hurry." She gave the address, and then another question was asked but all she said was, "Just get your ass here now." She then hung up and and looked to Darin, she felt her knees beginning to grow weak and her eyes welled up with tears. Poor Darin... What would happen now? Would Claire run off, like Lisa had always expected her too? Would Caspian be alright? She turned her eyes to the worried looking father and bit her lower lip, whispering softly. "I think... They are here..." She had to get out of that room.

she turned and ran out and opened the door after it had shut, and invited the ER people in, and they ran to do their job, and while she had ran, the teddy bear she had gotten Darin was on the ground. She picked it up and slid down to the floor, her legs being pushed against her chest, and her eyes shut tightly, she held onto the bear tightly.

 

[radioactive]

Caspian's legs gave out, he was beside his wife, beside his son. The moments which passed were inching by, taking an eternity. Panic on his face, and from Claire's lips.

"I just looked away, for just a minute, A MINUTE. Do something. CASPIAN, do something!" she was blaming this on him. She was yelling at him, making this his fault, when she had been tending to the child... The sirens could be heard a short time later, really only minutes, even if it had felt like forever. The EMT's swarmed in, like a pack of killer bees drawn to an marked victim. Caspian and Claire were both pulled away from their child, as a stretched was armed with their son. and they rushed off. Words came out of one of the EMT's mouthes, but Caspian couldn't talk, wouldn't. Instead Claire took over, denying an offer to ride in the ambulance, and Caspian just stared at the puddle.

"Then you can meet us there, Allina, off of East Second," the EMT said before rushing off towards the ambulance himself.

Claire had armed herself with her phone, calling anyone, everyone she could that was close family - or had been close family. Instead they were in a foreign city, with foreign people. All people who didn't give two shits about their son, who was on his way to the hospital. Claire stood pacing in the room, trying not to look at the blood. Caspian finally spoke, "I'm going to the hospital." Claire looked at him holding a finger up at him, tears staining her cheeks. "Take your car then," he was furious at her, at what she had let happen to their son.

Walking out he noticed Lisa crumpled against a wall clinging onto a teddy bear, he halted for only a second, his fatherly instinct wanting to make everything better - but he knew he couldn't.

"Wanna come wait at the hospital with me?" he said, his voice hollow, almost as if someone had scooped his insides out, and left nothing inside. He shrugged slightly, walking out and unlocking the doors.

 

[Jezzyboo]

Lisa could hear every single little thing... Especially when Claire started to yell at Caspian, at first she wanted to jump up and yell at her but she knew as soon as she did that she would snap and try to break the older woman's neck. So... Of course like usual, Lisa stayed put. Her eyes closed as she bit her lower lip, and silently started to bang her head backwards against the wall until she saw Caspian in front of her. Lisa's mind started to reel;

I should have been here before now...
I should have been here before now and this would have never happened...
It's my fault, I'm to blame....
fuck school I should have been here with Darin....
Oh Darin...
It's her fault, she should have been watching the kid like a real mother would!


Soon coming the conclusion that Caspian spoke to her, she watched him walk out of the house, unlocking the car doors, slowly she felt herself get up, Caspian would need comfort and she didn't see Claire doing that, so she sat in the passenger's seat, buckled up and closed the door, she then turned her head to look at him. She wouldn't tell him she got her grades up... even if good news would be good right now he needed a friend... Something she would try her hardest to give..

 

[radioactive]

He drove in silence not noting anything to do with Lisa. Hell he didn't even hear the chipper noise of the music playing in the background. Instead the car hummed to life around him, and he was entirely unaware. Instead he concentrated on the street, the lights, anything to not reconfirm the fact that his son had bled out on his floor. He didn't want to think about the blood, didn't want to think of any 'what if's'. Caspian drove nearly ten over the speed limit the whole way to the hospital, thankful that no cops had showed up. When he entered the parking lot he found the first spot he could, and quickly unbuckled before looking to Lisa and urging her on, "C'mon." When he was away from the car he hit the lock button on his key chain, and headed to the waiting room.

The entire ride felt nonexistent. The evening they were to have, nonexistent. In fact, he should have really called to inform his work he wouldn't be in, but they would understand when they learned what happened...

Waiting in the stark white room was the worst. Pacing back and forth, sitting with his hands on both sides of his head, leaning against the chair looking at the ceiling, talking to the nurse, and again repeating each of the positions if not creating more in his worry. It wasn't until two hours later when the doctor finally came out to speak to them. He didn't want to speak with Lisa there, but Claire still hadn't shown up, and Caspian needed someone to be there...

"So it looks like we've stabilized him, but he lost a lot of blood, and now we are just waiting for him to wake up, but, so far that isn't looking so good," he said with remorse, "It appears the fall was pretty bad, but we can only wait and hope that things look up from here. It could be anywhere from a day to months, we won't know much else until then." The doctor was holding it together, but Caspian lost it. There weren't words, but tears. If ever a grown man was to cry this was it. A hand cupped over his eyes as anger filled him and he tried to contain himself.

 

[Jezzyboo]

The drive to the hospital made Lisa sick, she wanted to scream and scream. Just when she had started to like the kid, something bad has to happen to him?! What the fuck was going on here and why did all of this have to happen now?! Lisa sighed and closed her eyes, while Caspian drove to the hospital, for some reason she enjoyed the silence, beside the music from the stereo. No cursing, no yelling at her for making him late, or course he was probably worried about Darin. Once the car stopped, and she heard his voice, she climbed out, and closed the door just in time to hear the beeping of him locking it, and then she was rushing towards the entrance.

Lisa had never realized how horrible it was to wait in the stark white room, feeling so anxious and just waiting for someone to come out with hopefully good news. Just... Something! Closing her eyes, and leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees and her face hidden in her hands.

One hour past... the longer it took for anyone to come out with news about Darin, she was getting more worried and pissed then ever before. Her hands kept clenching and releasing. she had shifted positions to, she was now leaning back in the chair, her arms were across her chest, and her legs were crossed, her foot that wasn't touching the ground began to tap the air angrily.

Finally, two hours had passed and someone came out, but Lisa didn't jump up, she watched Caspian move and then speaking, they were speaking loud enough so she could hear, and she caught a sob in her throat, she had to hold her emotions in check until she was at home in her bed, with the teddy bear she had bought Darin cuddled tightly to her chest. Sucking in a breath, Lisa saw Caspian hiding his face.

She stood up and moved towards him, wrapping a arm around his waist, she didn't know how to comfort someone very much but she would do her best. Her hand glided along his arm, and she moved him to a chair so that he could slump down and so that she didn't have to worry about him falling over. "Caspian..." She whispered, but she could say no more, what could one say to a father who loved his son this much?

 

[radioactive]

"I'm sorry sir, we'll contact ou immediately if anything changes," the doctor spoke again, so plainly, almost as if he had rehearsed this. A story he often told to people before he turned on his feet, in his blue surgery clothing, before leaving to another case.

Caspian stood there, fighting himself, his emotions but a hand came around his waist, cupping his back and guiding him. He looked up with bleary eyes as he expected Claire there beside him, her hand rubbing at his arm, as she showed him to a chair. Shock had surged through him at the sight of Lisa being so kind to him, but he didn't fight it - he was too busy fighting other things. He shook his head, crumbling into the chair, and fully letting the news sink in. Instead of slumping there alone he leaned into Lisa, letting his arms wrap around her in a hug almost, as he let himself calm down, as he tried comforting Lisa as she comforted him.

~~~~

Time has passed though, he wasn't sure how much. When they had finally entered a state where they were functioning, at least as much as they could, he called Claire, though he phone was off. This time he called his work, explained what was going on, and informed them that he would be out of work for a little while. They ensured his position was still there whenever he was able to come back. Instead he headed up to Darin's room when the nurse gave him the number.

"Do you want to come see him? Even for just a little bit?" he looked to her hoping that this young girl - who had grown so close to his son, would at least keep him company for that. If she didn't it didn't matter, he was still going to see his son, still going to hold his tiny hand if he could.

 

[Jezzyboo]

It wasn't like Lisa would have pushed Caspian away or anything... She knew he was in dire need of someone to comfort him, and since his good-for-nothing wife wasn't there, she was the one whom had to do it. So since he put her arms around her in a slight hug, she slid her right hand on his upper back and her left on his lower back, and slid them up and down, in a comforting way. Lisa wasn't quite used to comforting guys or being comforted herself, she wasn't used to this feeling at all, so when he finally let go, Lisa ran her hands down her sides and sighed.

"This is a time I would really like Jeremy to be here..." She mumbled under her breath while he tried to get a hold of his wife, later when Darin would wake up... If he woke up that is, she would tell Caspian just how phony his wife really was, she just couldn't stand Claire for some reason, but she did have to mentally thank her, for this job... When he couldn't get a hold of her he was on the phone with his work now, and Lisa just set her hands in her lap, closing her eyes tightly. This wasn't what she was used to feeling, she wanted to jump up and run out of the hospital but when Caspian asked her if she wanted to see his son, she had no intention of saying what she said.

"Of course." She stood up, and walked with him to his son's room, and once they were in there, and she heard the monitor of the beeping noises, and the breathing Darin was doing, Lisa had to take a deep breath. She shouldn't have came, she should have done anything, she should have never met these people! After a while of being in the room and choking back the sobs that were aching to get through, she placed the teddy bear against Darin's side and then they were finally in the car, but... Lisa didn't want to go home so she mumbled, "Can I stay with you guys for a while?" she sighed, hoping he would say yes...

 

[radioactive]

Once the nurse had given him the room number he meandered up to the room his son was stationed in, all the while Lisa was closely near or behind. The children's wing, he wondered how all of the other parents were coping with this – or maybe they weren't just like Claire was in denial. Not answering her phone, ignoring him, blaming him, and whatever else she was doing while she had fallen off his radar.

The room was bleak, and he cried again when he saw his sons face. They stayed for a time before it was time to go home, visiting hours were over. Caspian didn't know how long they had stayed, but when Lisa mumbled words to him, he looked towards her, no shock on his face. Instead for the first time he really took in her features. The girl had been bitter just months ago when she had to babysit Darin, and now she appeared to care more for his son than his own wife was showing.

"Of course," he said lifted a hand to her back, and rubbing there softly. He let his hand drop before he headed full speed towards the car.

The car ride home felt twice as quick as the ride there. It was when they arrived back at the house when things started to slow down. "Claire has some extra stuff if you need any," if she comes home, he tacked on the end portion for his own bitterness. He wondered where she was, what was more important. Entering the house, he noticed that Claire's car was gone. The house though, was starkly quiet. It was creepily quiet. Caspian turned on the television as he tried to eat. He tried the fruit first which littered the kitchen, then tried chips, leftovers, and a number of other things. Though he only got tiny bits of each kind down. Sighing he headed upstairs. It was late enough, he would sit in front of the television in sweats, and a t-shirt like a zombie. That is exactly what he did too, sitting in front of the television on the couch, his eyes staring blankly at the screen. All he saw though were blurs, running together, and creating an almost waterpaint type image before his eyes.

 

[Jezzyboo]

The entire ride to Caspian's house was silent, almost like... An awkward silence? Lisa really didn't care though, she was leaning against the passenger sides' door, her cheek against the cool plane of the window, and her eyes staring out, looking at nothing. Lisa's eyes almost looked like they were glazed over, she looked sick almost, her skin was naturally pale, but right now? She looked like a corpse. She looked like, she had died from heart break and had been sitting in that car for a long time. She had dark half circles under her eyes, there was no color in her lips, and she had this... 'Kill Me Now' look on her face. But when the car stopped, a bit of the color filled her lips up to a bright red color, she looked at Caspian slowly and frowned softly.

What could she really say to him? 'Oh, Caspian, it'll be alright!' She looked down, and at her hands, then she muttered under her breath. "I'll join you inside in a few minutes..." She waited until he was in the house. She stared at the flooring of the vehicle, and then she pulled her legs up against her chest, and finally let all of the emotions flood out of her. the fact that Darin could be gone forever?! She couldn't handle this! Her heart clenched in her chest and she was crying, hard and painfully fast. since her mouth was open, her noises were heard of pain, sorrow, and just regret. She wished that she had kept her grades up so she didn't have to even meet these people and now she was just feeling horrible. "I don't think I can do this..." She whispered to herself, and then taking a deep breath she opened the car door and stepped out, going into the house.

She heard the television was on, and she followed the noise, peeking her head into the room, she watched that dazed expression on Caspian and felt horrible. So horrible she found herself walking into the room and sitting right beside Caspian. Her hand reached out to gentle caress his shoulder. Her eyes on the television as she watched the colors, and heard the noise, but nothing seemed to really catch her attention, but the feeling of Caspian's skin under her hand.