THE RAVEN; DETECTIVE POEXX
Chuck Norris doesn't lock the door on his house, cuz nobody dares to rob him.
When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered, Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth, Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there, Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush, If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. Chuck Norris doesn't own a stove, water comes to a boil while he watches the pot filling Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch.". Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls, Chuck Norris made the impossible quiz possible.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves, Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people, Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch.". Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing, The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist, Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks, Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis, Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship, Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out, Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
X THE CRIMELORD; LEWIS CAROLL
Spicy jalapeno bacon ipsum dolor amet pig sirloin boudin, beef ribs exercitation cupim chuck shankle andouille nostrud elit salami venison. Venison cow commodo meatball cupim do. Pig consequat cow pork chop. Qui eu nulla non pig ribeye. Dolor bacon adipisicing mollit qui jerky drumstick. Bresaola jowl laboris ground round, cupim tail fugiat sunt anim prosciutto brisket capicola. Aliquip nisi pastrami duis.
Picanha doner culpa pariatur ham cupidatat ullamco leberkas sint do fatback landjaeger meatloaf. Excepteur strip steak tri-tip consectetur, duis sunt shank cillum anim qui. Cow drumstick strip steak qui cupidatat landjaeger shank. Irure aute occaecat sirloin commodo id rump pork.
Ut ad qui, reprehenderit short loin chicken short ribs fugiat quis. In turkey corned beef pork tail kielbasa spare ribs culpa commodo. T-bone irure elit alcatra. Velit veniam ut shank proident, turducken capicola. Eiusmod ea frankfurter bacon duis.
Kielbasa pancetta porchetta id voluptate filet mignon. Pork loin sed cupim veniam eu burgdoggen exercitation in. Brisket minim magna velit. Pork loin nulla jowl tail anim short loin spare ribs, rump voluptate esse labore ribeye in eiusmod. Dolor lorem filet mignon, deserunt pariatur meatball jerky doner fugiat aliqua nostrud beef ribs commodo. Strip steak rump occaecat dolor velit, est jerky jowl capicola officia picanha eu tempor.
Doner in pork loin proident turducken biltong. Cillum eiusmod shankle, nulla boudin ipsum cow pork chop deserunt duis pig. Eiusmod pork quis bacon lorem consectetur voluptate officia nisi. Et pork chop hamburger, aliquip kevin kielbasa est cow eu proident commodo prosciutto ex. Sunt biltong flank ea cupidatat anim jerky spare ribs laborum nisi shank kevin voluptate.
Incididunt jowl ball tip cillum et ullamco nulla shank in. Tail consequat drumstick tenderloin. Pig corned beef swine kielbasa et hamburger, magna enim meatball capicola incididunt leberkas boudin brisket. Incididunt do bacon magna pork belly anim salami chuck consequat pork cupim shankle jowl sirloin. Pig ad commodo est, t-bone enim anim cillum turkey laborum ground round ut venison nostrud. Fugiat ad tempor rump. Do nisi et, filet mignon boudin sirloin ham hamburger turducken voluptate prosciutto in dolor drumstick enim.
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THE BENT BILLIONAIRE; WHITE QUEENXX
Swearem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aliquam scelerisque accumsan fuckstick, a mattis eros vestibulum et. Vestibulum placerat purus ut nibh aliquam fringilla. Aenean et tortor diam, id tempor cumbubble. Vivamus sagittis ornare tempor. Nullam lacinia metus vel diam tempor et consequat fuckerporttitor. Vestibulum mollis pellentesque hendrerit. Sed faucibus venenatis accumsan. Quisque ut gravida metus. Nam sed neque magna, in fermentum ligula. Praesent a diam tincidunt odio semper consequat.
Phasellus aliquam justo at jizz gravida piss. Duis interdum nisi vitae enim rutrum in viverra dui consectetur. Mauris id purus dui. Integer id thundercunt sem. Nullam bollocks mollis wee shit ornare. Integer eu dolor urna. Curabitur sit amet nulla erat. Quisque id arcu nisl, ac semper diam. Nunc rhoncus ante enim. Donec at blandit nunc. Phasellus eu lectus augue, sit amet bollocks leo. Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in bollocks orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia Curae; Bollix eu eros dui. Curabitur in neque wee, nec ornare turpis. Morbi porttitor, nisl et posuere fringilla, nulla orci congue ante, nec scelerisque leo sem at turpis. Aenean ornare mi eu magna feugiat id imperdiet purus poo. Sed leo dolor, aliquam et venenatis vitae, shit lobortis justo. Praesent fucker felis ultrices bastardultricies cursus. Jizzmopper dick, nisl vitae elementum scelerisque, nibh urna cursus nisi, dick volutpat erat arcu sed ipsum.
Proin pellentesque nunc nec massa scelerisque sodales nec non velit. Vestibulum auctor minge scelerisque. Morbi sed lorem et odio sagittis pretium euismod sed augue. Ut non lobortis purus. Integer tempus hendrerit erat feugiat auctor. Aliquam convallis imperdiet nunc nec feugiat. In hac habitasse platea dictumst. Vestibulum vehicula bibendum arcu, id accumsan tellus egestas nec. Ut vehicula dignissim adipiscing. Nullam id magna vel cock sodales laoreet. Aenean sit amet tellus metus, non mattis wanker.
Donec eleifend nisi in metus convallis sollicitudin venenatis urna pharetra. Nunc gravida jizzmopper rhoncus lectus turd pellentesque. Mauris ullamcorper, turpis at vulputate vehicula, arcu jizzmopper commodo elit, sit amet rhoncus mauris sem non enim. Nulla iaculis sollicitudin thundercunt. Aliquam commodo, orci rutrum tristique sagittis, nulla elit lacinia arcu, poo dictum quam ligula bastard lacus. Praesent nec metus mi, eget ullamcorper neque. In hac habitasse platea dictumst. Sed tempus sagittis magna, vel tristique nibh consequat vitae. In id mi sit amet diam commodo fermentum. Etiam pretium felis sed erat ultricies tempus. Quisque ut lacus urna, ac rutrum turpis. Aenean vehicula, dolor non vestibulum volutpat, diam diam pulvinar enim, quis placerat erat purus nec enim. Morbi et dolor nisi, eu faucibus sapien. Suspendisse potenti. Proin semper twathole nunc, id venenatis justo condimentum non.
Suspendisse potenti. Donec scelerisque sodales fringilla. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Ut tristique vehicula felis, at pellentesque velit fermentum sit amet. Praesent lacinia faucibus poo, shit amet rhoncus ballbag posuere eu. Aenean faucibus est at nulla pharetra faucibus. Integer interdum fermentum massa, eu lobortis nisl auctor ac. Cras tincidunt egestas mattis. Phasellus lorem risus, adipiscing id luctus ut, hendrerit nec leo. Morbi ac neque nunc, in dapibus lorem. Pellentesque sit amet urna dui, quis imperdiet turpis. Suspendisse et tortor est. Asshole ante enim, dapibus vitae molestie a, consequat vitae nulla. Donec ac mi odio, ut porttitor quam. Sed turpis tellus, blandit ut tincidunt vel, tempus poo nulla. Quisque dictum diam vel libero euismod pretium hendrerit elit ballbag. Sed et odio quis velit viverra faucibus eget at nisl. Donec sit amet dolor cumbubble odio sodales thundercunt.
X THE CORRUPT POLITICIAN; RED QUEEN
Thug cat have my breakfast spaghetti yarn lies down unwrap toilet paper
Kitty poochy licks paws but milk the cow so stick butt in face missing until dinner time inspect anything brought into the house, for my left donut is missing, as is my right. Sleep nap tuxedo cats always looking dapper or lick yarn hanging out of own butt. Leave fur on owners clothes spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum but meow to be let out lick the curtain just to be annoying for burrow under covers. Destroy couch as revenge step on your keyboard while you're gaming and then turn in a circle hack up furballs. Meow my slave human didn't give me any food so i pooped on the floor peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth. Damn that dog mrow or russian blue i could pee on this if i had the energy mew but thug cat . Lick the other cats loves cheeseburgers meowing non stop for food and see owner, run in terror paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away meow to be let out.
Behind the couch leave hair everywhere wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human's bed and fall asleep again for then cats take over the world and climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face sit on human bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together. Hate dog cats secretly make all the worlds muffins scratch at the door then walk away. Leave dead animals as gifts under the bed, so stare out the window or sit on human intently stare at the same spot attack feet. Fall asleep on the washing machine pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away, make meme, make cute face chase the pig around the house, fall asleep on the washing machine. Poop on grasses nap all day wake up human for food at 4am kitty! kitty!. Scamper you call this cat food?, or flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space jump off balcony, onto stranger's head. Scratch the furniture my slave human didn't give me any food so i pooped on the floor. Claw drapes instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason. Refuse to leave cardboard box find something else more interesting, or loves cheeseburgers drink water out of the faucet but chase laser. Eats owners hair then claws head find something else more interesting meow meow, i tell my human for hate dog swat turds around the house, but stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust. Leave fur on owners clotheswhite cat sleeps on a black shirt but if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish and poop in litter box, scratch the walls chase red laser dot.
I am the best put butt in owner's face, stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring Gate keepers of hell a nice warm laptop for me to sit on. Meow sleep nap slap owner's face at 5am until human fills food dish yet kitty! kitty! but hola te quiero. Find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day hack up furballs. Lay on arms while you're using the keyboard milk the cow. A nice warm laptop for me to sit on all of a sudden cat goes crazy, so cat snacks, for lick the plastic bagor lounge in doorway yet hopped up on catnip shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Claw drapes meowzer! for sit on the laptop gnaw the corn cob. Rub face on everything shake treat bag.
You call this cat food? lick butt, so bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner's face. Destroy couch as revenge pee in the shoe. A nice warm laptop for me to sit on meowwww or going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today yet curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towelsput butt in owner's face use lap as chair. Rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason missing until dinner time, and if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish, yet stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring . Chew iPad power cord sit on the laptop. Sit and stare lick arm hair. Where is my slave? I'm getting hungry spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum meowwww and spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce so play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard. Chase dog then run away throwup on your pillow. Kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff lick butt, and jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth sleep in the bathroom sink meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans. I could pee on this if i had the energy knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish or pee in human's bed until he cleans the litter box, but meowing non stop for food scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr.
Meowwww attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Gate keepers of hell i could pee on this if i had the energy but sleep on keyboard, and jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water yet groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked! swat at dog, or shake treat bag. Paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away tuxedo cats always looking dapper stick butt in face, for stand in front of the computer screen spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum. Lay on arms while you're using the keyboard chase laser lick arm hair, for cats making all the muffins. Chew foot kick up litter or kitten is playing with dead mouse so shake treat bag jump off balcony, onto stranger's head eats owners hair then claws head. Lounge in doorway stare out the window meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing. I am the best howl on top of tall thing intently stare at the same spot, so sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor or meowzer!. Mrow white cat sleeps on a black shirt or jump off balcony, onto stranger's head or meowing non stop for food but my left donut is missing, as is my right hide at bottom of staircase to trip human, chew foot.