I still think about you, you know. I think about you more often than I should. I wonder if you're thinking about me, too.
I'd seen you before, probably a dozen times, but I never got a chance to talk to you. You always seemed interested in the place where I work. It's nothing too special, just a coffee shop, but maybe you found some kind of comfort in it. But, whenever I'd see you outside the store window, you'd turn around and leave. Sometimes, I wondered if it was because you didn't want to see me. I didn't know you, but maybe you knew me? Or, maybe you just didn't like the looks of me. Whatever the reasons… I kept wishing you would come inside, anyway. You seemed like you really wanted to. Needed to.
You always showed up in the later parts of the afternoon. Usually, in the last hour or so of the shop still being open. You seemed so shy, too. And so unrecognizable because you always hid in your large, hooded sweatshirts. Your mysteriousness was appealing, but… I wished I could learn your name, or at least see your face.
Eventually, I did get my wish. Just… Not in the way I ever expected.
On a cold, dark, rainy day, you showed up at the see-through doors. It was just fifteen minutes shy of closing time. Usually, by that hour, I have to politely turn customers away. You seemed like you really wanted to come in this time, though. So, I didn't think twice about unlocking the doors to invite you inside.
At the time, I had no idea that was exactly what you were looking for from me. Without an invitation, you can't pass through those doors, right?
I remember I commented that you must be cold. From head to toe, you were drenched in rainwater. You told me that the cold wasn't getting to you as much. You were thirsty, though. You mentioned that much. I took it as a hint that I should craft a drink for you. But… You meant something else, entirely.
Just for you, I would have gotten the espresso machine going again. I didn't mind the idea of cleaning things up a second time, because I finally got to meet you. But, you made sure I knew you weren't interested in coffee. As I turned around to ask about your preferences, you were suddenly standing right in front of me. You had peeled off your sweatshirt, too. Finally, I got to see your face. And it was nothing like I imagined. I saw skin as white as winter itself, and long hair as black as the night. Most captivating of all were your cherry-red eyes. Your glowing, feral gaze, so beautiful yet intimidating, froze me in place. In awe, I stared at you and the pair of brilliant red stars that were your eyes.
I felt myself step backward only when you made a move forward. I ended up doing exactly what you wanted me to do, I think. Like timid prey, I got backed into a corner. Or, in my case, up against the counter in the coffee house kitchen. With that at my lower back, you used your body to block the path in front of me. The whole time, too, you smiled at me as if we were playing a game. I wasn't sure if I should be afraid or not.
I also remember dumbly asking you if you planned to kill me. You expressed how darkly amused you were by that question, but you understood it, too. You understood it so well that you started to look… Sad. At that moment, I realized how alone you are. You distance yourself from others because one look at you might frighten them. You're still accepting who and what you are, too. Having to get your claws and teeth dirty still creates guilt in you. It's guilt for your own nature, though. It's not a fair way to live.
"Don't go," I remember telling you, just as you were turning away. You were about to change your mind. But then my words froze you for a single, skin-chilling moment. When you parted your lips, I expected you to speak, but you didn't. Not with words, anyway. I got the message loud and clear when I spotted those long, sharp fangs in your mouth. I felt my eyes darting between them and those glowing eyes of yours as you moved in closer. The press of your form made me shiver, though I couldn't be sure if it was from nervousness or the fact you were frigid to the touch. Probably both. Even with clothes on, I noticed you weren't warm-bodied like a human being. That's because you aren't human though, right? Maybe you used to be.
I swear I must have spotted some fragments of your former self, though. As you honed in on me, your target, I noticed the genuine apology in your frown. You felt so sorry for what you were about to do, and you hated being reminded that this is your reality. There's a part of you who despises the fact you must feed in this way. The touch on my shoulder showed me how gentle you truly are, too. You softly assured me I was safe while you relieved me of my shirt. You told me you didn't want to make a mess of it. I could tell that you meant everything you said and did. I think that's why I just… Leaned into your touch and surrendered. I kept my arms loosely around you, for my own security and yours. You seemed alright with it. I like to think that my warmth offered a bit of comfort. For a creature who's used to the cold, you still shivered as though you were freezing to death.
To my embarrassment and your benefit, my blood rushed faster than ever. I could not help but blush at what you did next. You took advantage of the comfort and welcomeness I offered, to the point of straddling my lap so you could get closer. Close enough to find the perfect place for your teeth. Maybe I should have been afraid of you, especially at that moment, but… I wasn't. On the contrary, I was very enchanted by you. Maybe it was your mystifying beauty, or maybe you put me under some kind of hypnosis. It doesn't really matter, I guess. I think I genuinely wanted to give you what you wanted. No one deserved to go hungry. And it's not like I had anything else I could offer. Human blood isn't a menu item here. But maybe it could be someday. You never know.
I remember you warned me of the sting before you finally bit down. You even hesitated a bit. I felt it in the reluctant scrape of your fangs. It took everything in me to not violently shiver from that action. I know you felt my hands grip your shirt, though. That must have been what prompted you to do the deed. You didn't want me to feel frightened or teased. (I felt both, by the way.)
When your fangs sank into my skin, it did sting at first. I remember it making me yelp in surprise. That was the only real shock of it, though. Because after those few seconds of pain, all I felt was hot euphoria. My entire body was filled with liquid heat that made me comfortably melt against you. Tingling sensations crawled on me from head to toe, the likes of which I'll never forget. And I was sent into a most perfect daydream about you and me camping in the mountains together. We sleep in the tent all morning so that we can wander the forest during the late afternoon and evenings. We play hide and seek amongst the trees, we try our hands at fishing, we draw pictures of the birds we find… Living in those fantasies made me feel so happy. I probably would have and could have died happily, had that been your intention. Is that something your kind does regularly? Does every target feel as though they're going to heaven when you start to drain them of their life? That's such a beautifully bittersweet gift to offer, I must say.
Maybe one day we can make that daydream happen for real.
Everything that happened later is hard to remember. I somewhat remember the aftercare you provided. You sought out the cafe' first aid kit so you could carefully tend to the wound in my shoulder. You gave me the full, proper treatment by cleaning up every last bit of blood, disinfecting the bite, and patching up the wound. I think you might have even kissed the bandage before slipping my shirt back onto me. You are absolutely the sweetest person I've ever met, I want you to know. There are human beings in this world who aren't even half as thoughtful as you. Would it complement you or would it insult you if I were to say you are more human than the majority of humans?
Since I was disoriented for a while (given your huge appetite), you even made sure I got home safely. I don't know how you did that part. I appreciate it a ton because I otherwise would have slept at my work... Yeah, somehow, you and my one remaining brain cell figured out how to get the shop all closed up. And then you magically got me home. It was probably too late to ride a bus at the time. I don't drive my car to work so that I can save on gas money. And I wasn't fit to walk all the way home, so… What happened? Did you…carry me home? At first, the idea of that seemed ridiculous, but now… As I think about it more… It's not ridiculous after all. Of course you're stronger than you look. The rest of the whole deal I can piece together well enough. You can find my address on my driver's license, but also it seems possible enough that you could have figured it out with your enhanced senses. Heightened senses of smell and all that, yeah? And my house key was in my pocket. Easy enough to figure that out. Oh, but what about tucking me into my bed? Did I somehow manage to invite you into my apartment? Great job on your part if you got those words out of my mouth. I had to have been half-asleep by that point.
And then, at the same time it always does, my alarm woke me up. I started my day as I always did, even though you stayed in my mind the entire time. I searched around my apartment in case you might be sleeping somewhere. You were nowhere to be found, though. You probably had somewhere to be.
With that in mind, I wonder if I can count on seeing you again soon. Those invitations to my work and my home remain valid. I've done nothing and will do nothing to ward you away.
Every day since that day, I've wondered if you're thinking about me as often as I think about you. It's so hard to focus at work. It's hard to sleep. It's been days, but I hold out hope that I'll see you again soon.
I hope you'll seek me out if you need another warm drink.
I'm here for you, and…
I miss you.
