Jazz was taken aback by his compliment. Beauty? She'd never been called beautiful, except by her father. She winced a bit as she remembered the only man she'd ever loved, remembered talking to him on the phone right before the outbreak, remembered breaking out of Cass to go find him... Remembered him being dead... Remembered having to kill him again. She felt the sting of tears and she furrowed her brow, forcing her sadness and loneliness to transform into anger. She approached the man, glaring into his eyes with her own piercing right into him.
"Look. I'm not looking to be an assassin. Honestly, there's no reason for me to even be alive other than the fact that someone has to kill these mother fucking zombies. And as for me being beautiful, well, that's not up to me. It just happens. So please, don't try to turn me into some social butterfly experiment. Just let me be alone. I don't want to hurt anyone else."
She let the sadness shine in her eyes as her voice cut off. She did hurt people. Everyone she'd ever allowed herself to love. They'd run from her. They'd left her behind. She wrapped her arms around herself, taking a step back, eyeing this man. She'd said too much. She disappeared into the shadows, silently darting behind a wall and dropping down into one of her many hidden entryways into her tunnels. Once alone, she let herself breath and pushed back the tears. No time to cry. Tears were a sign of weakness and there was absolutely no time to be weak in this world. She ran- no, sprinted- through the tunnels, darting left and right, her breath sharp and focused until she came to her private sector. She stopped in front of a wall that had been carved into bookshelves and pulled out an album, flipping it open. It was worn and faded, but she knew which one it was by the leaves covering the outside. She'd gotten it when she was 12 and kept it ever since. She thumbed through the pages until she found one picture of her father, wearing his reflective sunglesses and standing like Superman. She caressed this photo through the clear covering and closed her eyes, her broken heart aching. He'd been Superdad before he'd gotten sick. She'd taken this picture on their vacation to Sandia Peaks in New Mexico when they'd lived there. She looked up to him and nearly worshipped him. Even after he had to be put on dyalisis, after all the weakness hit and all the times he had to be put in the hospital, she loved him with every bit of her heart.
But then the outbreak came. He never had a chance, the man never ran in his life except when it was toward her when she was hurt. She remembered the only time she'd ever seen him run when she was 6, having broken her arm. He moved so fast, but then again, he wasn't sick then. She closed the book and held it to her chest, clutching it as if it would seep the remnants of her memories of him right into her heart. The first time, the last time she'd ever used a gun was to shoot her father in the forhead as he tried to kill her. But then again at that point he was no longer her Daddy. He was just an animal. She fell to her knees, the weakness taking hold of her and she pulled a box from the bottom shelf, pulling out his favorite jean jacket and wrapping it around her. She remembered how he'd always dress in those house shorts that showed off his skinny white legs and that t shirt that hugged his round belly when they went to the store then he would dance and do anything he could to embarrass her. Oh, what she wouldn't give to have that back, just for one more day... But no. The outbreak had taken everything she'd ever had and given her nothing but a cold, steely hatred for everyone. She needed no one. No one needed her. Her only friend was darkness.