ZeroDown and Oppenheimlich

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[OoC: I had hoped you would; I was worried that my grasping at an idea was a little on the weak side. ;;x3]

Merrick took no time finding his way out of the forest and back to his own property. The walk seemed shorter this time around than before, perhaps because he was going at his own pace rather than at the pace of a human teenager. Still, his pace was somewhat slowed by the aching in his body; he would not be back to his full working condition for a couple days, at least. The right medicine for this state was a pot of steeping herbs and a warm bed; however, first he had to find out where that boy had gone. He would not be able to rest knowing that something could have happened to him.

There was no one, it seemed, in his field. There was no one near the front or the back of house. He looked in the shade tree at the front, behind the curtain pitched around the area where he washed out back; he peered into the back of his cart and in the small stable and coop where he kept his chickens and his jenny-mule. There was no boy there.

A scouring of his home, though taking nowhere near as long as outside, was just as unfruitful. It seemed that the boy had turned tail for elsewhere. Merrick could only hope that he did not run farther into the darkness and, if he did, that the guard would find him safely. Though he did not particularly care for the boy, he wished harm on no one.

Stoking a fire, the gnoll put on a kettle of water and herbs for pain. At least, that was what the town potion-brewer had said they were for.
 
This would be great, thought the Thief. Okay so now he had to come up with more lies, and whenever he had to do that everything always started to get messy, but this was only the second one. Things only ever started to go bad with the third or fourth one. Two wasn't too bad. Not bad at all. At least he could get some revenge on the other guards later.

He saw the gnoll in the distance looking around his house. Was that fool looking for him? No matter. This would be fun.

With great stealth, Skin Thief skulked along close to the ground slowly, hiding amongst the wheat until Merrick went inside. Then he made his way up to the window and peered inside. He still had the same odd green eyes. To himself he was just looking inwards.

To anyone else who may have passed by, there was a troll with his face pressed against the window of a house giggling like a small child.
 
Quite luckily for the thief, for a troll was not something that the townsfolk would have suffered among their homes, no one would likely pass by the gnoll's home. The road out wound about nearby and the home itself was situated far-oriented from the path.

Merrick's ears dished and he sniffed the air. "Troll," he muttered, wriggling out of what clothing he wore, save for his fundoshi-like undergarment, so that he might ready them for a wash the next day. They did, after all, smell quite terribly of troll and cave.

He was glad, at least, that the brewing herbs caused a pleasant scent. They would overtake the scent of troll and combat, no doubt. He tested the water and smile, then poured himself a cup and settled into a wooden chair beside his central fire pit.

[OoC: Picturing that last line is equally terrifying and adorable. XD]
 
The now troll was of a patient sort when he wanted to be, but right now was not that time. Barely two minutes passed by. All he could smell was himself, and it was terrible. Have trolls ever considered of at least sitting in a river for a while to wash off all the blood from their meals? He could barely stand it.

But Skin Thief was determined now. He had a new, pristine lie, yes he did. It was a little silly but at least it was congruent with the first lie. The humiliation of taking on the form of such a hideously scented creature would be worth it once he got that pelt. He wanted that pelt. He would make it his even if he had to risk a third lie.

Thief had never taken the skin of a troll before though. He wasn't quite sure how to work with it, but he managed to somewhat easily raise the arm that was now his, though it was somewhat floppy looking, and tapped on the window with a thick gross finger.
 
Merrick's ears twitched at a sound. Then again.

He set his tea to the side and stood, looking at the window for a long moment. It felt as though just what was on the other side of the window took an awfully long time to register with the gnoll; however, once he was certain that what he was seeing was real, he scrambled for his weapon and rushed outside.

"Guard!" he called, though he doubted there were any men left in town. Orphan's Crossing was no large city by any means, and the guard only numbered about six on active duty at any time. Besides that it was nearly sundown now, and most folk would be in their homes or drinking at the small tavern on the other side of town.

"Another fight, then," he growled, readying himself.
 
It was hard to keep a straight face. It took the gnoll so long to realize that a troll was looking at him through the window, Skin Thief almost wondered why he had ever been even the slightest bit impressed by Merrick's intellect at all. But as the man ran outside all ready to fight again, the very sight of it was too much.

The troll laughed in hysteria at him, so hard did he laugh that he actually fell over clutching at his sides. This gnoll was fun! But realizing that this would be seen as odd behavior, he quickly calmed himself and rolled over. Despite the fact that he had mostly regained his composure, he was still suffering from minor giggle fits.

He gazed up at Merrick, smiling in an all too familiar manner at him. "HELLO GOOD SIR~" He chimed, though his voice was far deeper and scratchier now, making him sound positively ridiculous. "I APPEAR TO HAVE GOTTEN MYSELF INTO A PICKLE."
 
The troll spoke, and in a manner that one would not typically associate with a troll. Merrick was taken aback more than slightly by the monster's behavior. He gripped his axe tightly and took a step or two back, eying the troll curiously. "A pickle? You'll be in more than a pickle by the time I'm done with you, Troll," he growled.

After momentarily digging his feet into the soil, the gnoll charged at the gnoll.

[OoC: Sorry it's a bit short. Also, free reign to flick him aside or grab him or whatever to stop his charge if need be.]
 
Still suffering from giggle fits, the troll rolled over to avoid the attack. At the last moment however as the gnoll passed by him at top speed he shot out his leg, though it wobbled around somewhat, tripping Merrick head over heels into the dirt. Several bursts of laughter came out of his mouth, he sounded like an insane child. This was even more fun than he ever had imagined.

Definitely his best idea, most definitely indeed. "I'M SORRY TO HAVE SCARED YOU GOOD SIR. IT IS ME, THE URCHIN BOY FROM EARLIER." He said, trying harder to mimic the voice of the boy to convince Merrick, though it was somewhat difficult. "IT WOULD APPEAR THAT I HAVE BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO A TROLL BY SOME MEANS OF MAGIC. OH DO HELP ME GOOD SIR."

Thief was still smiling familiarly with all his terrible troll teeth, but he managed to make it look more convincing to the gnoll by rocking back and forth on his feet.
 
Scrambling to his feet as the troll shout-spoke to him, the gnoll gripped his weapon ever tighter. "The urch--? No," he muttered, shaking his head furiously. "No, no, and no. If what you say is true, this is all too much and you're not my burden. You'll need a wizard or brewer for this mess to get sorted. I've got nothing in me for dealing with magic," he said hurriedly as he began to walk back to his home.

"Get gone, Whatever-You-Are!"

He was not so attached to the boy that he felt obligated to help him with his problem. Besides that, Merrick had been rather genuine when he said that he wanted nothing to do with magic. Bad things only came from magic. People got too full-headed when they could cast spells, and those affected by the aforementioned spells were often miserable for a long, long time.

Turning about to look over his shoulder, the gnoll grimaced at the sight of the troll. "Not an inch of help!" he reiterated.
 
Oh no, he would't let the game end here. No not at all. He was just starting to have fun, real fun. No, Skin Thief would not let the gnoll go. Not now. He thought in silence for a few moments, contemplating to himself. Well, he would just have to go for the third lie. Hopefully it wouldn't bite him in the backend later. No, that wouldn't do at all.

"B...BUT SIR!" He said in the saddest voice he could manage. Thief hated to have to talk like that, it almost made him want to cry every time he did it, but this would be worth it. For the pelt. All for that pelt.

"PLEASE. PLEASE I DON'T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO GO. COULD....COULD YOU AT LEAST LEAD ME OUT OF TOWN? I DON'T WANT TO GET KILLED. ANYONE WOULD SHOOT SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS. PLEASE GOOD, KIND SIR. THIS WILL BE THE LAST THING THIS WORTHLESS, SMELLY CREATURE MUST ASK OF YOU. THEN I WILL BE GONE. I PROMISE THIS TO YOU."
 
Sighing, the gnoll mentally kicked himself for the words which were about to leave his maw.

"Fine. Only, and I mean only, to the edge of town. Then I'm going to bed and forgetting that this strange day ever happened."

With that, the gnoll retreated back to his home long enough to put his breeches on so that he might be at least half decent should they come across anyone on the road. He thought he might be able to come up with a sufficiently sly story about the troll if the need should arise. Still, he hoped it wouldn't arise at all.

"Come," he said as he came back out and walked past the troll-urchin-thing. "You're lucky the guard's back at the cave."

After a moment of silence, he spoke again. "How did this happen, now?" he asked, cutting his eyes to the side at the lumbering creature. "This," and he motioned to the body beside him, "I mean. You said a spell. What sort? Who cast it?"
 
The troll was absolutely elated. He happily trotted behind the gnoll, gradually figuring out how to walk with such thick legs, and even getting comfortable enough to swing his arms a little. Besides the smell, being a troll wasn't terrible. Just rather inconvenient for normal activities, but the one he was thinking of as he watched Merrick walk along would be perfectly suited to his current needs.

It took him only seconds to think of another lie. "SOME PRACTITIONER OF MAGIC CAST A SPELL ON ME. I AM UNCERTAIN OF WHAT EXACTLY, ALL I KNOW IS ONE MOMENT I WAS LOOKING AT THE MAGICIAN STANDING NEXT TO THE TROLL'S DEAD BODY AND THE NEXT I WAS LYING ON THE GROUND LOOKING UP AT HIM IN THIS ONE. I THINK I REMEMBER THE MAN TAKING MY BODY WITH HIM, I FAINTED A FEW TIMES FROM THE SMELL BUT I GRADUALLY GOT USED TO IT."

He coughed briefly. "OF COURSE I USE THAT TERM LIGHTLY."
 
[OoC: I think I'm going to pull the plug on our roleplay. I dunno', I think I just lost interest is all. I hope you're not angry and don't take it personal. You're a good writer, so it's definitely not that. It's my own attention span, I think. I'm a bum. :c]
 
(Oh that's fine, I assumed that this was going to be a more slow moving plot so that's how I was writing. If it's not working out for you I'm okay with that, though if you ever want to try again let me know.)
 
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