Your last meal

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Dervish

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For the grievous and unforgivable crime of Shitposting, you are all collectively sentenced to death by the Court of Lulz and the execution will be carried out tomorrow. What I want to know is what your final meal would be.

This thread is a result of me having come across a list of infamous criminal's last meals before they were executed and being utterly fascinated. Check it out here! So, it got me thinking, what would I request?

I'd probably have to go with Wild Wing chicken wings, a pound of raspberry + golden mustard and a pound of ketchup, as well as a carton of orange juice.

Anyways, this is one of those morbid-but-fun topics that still boils down to the "What's your favorite?" epidemic of threads Iwaku gets, along with dozens of posts that probably nobody is actually going to read.

HAVE AT YOU, CRIMINAL SCUM. CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER?
 
For mains, Home-made Sherpherd's Pie, and a cup of Earl Grey. For dessert, a whole cherry cheesecake.

If you can fit either a file or a loaded gun into either of those meals, that'll be most welcome :D
 
I'd bankrupt the Prison system, because I can:

Wagyu ribeye, Medium Rare, (Most expensiove steak.)
several cups Kopi Luwak coffee, (Most expensive coffee.)
6 California Roll from a restaurant near me, (Overpriced, but good as hell.)
Some wine taken from the Vatican itself, (Good luck getting this.)
Some B'Dubs wings, Medium sauce. (Not that expensive, but eh.)
For dessert: Chocolate Cake, produced by the world's finest chef, and made of the finest ingredients.

At risk of this sounding really cheesy: A kiss from the girl I love, and Jennifer Lawrence.

Oh, and a cyanide pill, with milk to wash it and the cake down with.
 
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Fifty chicken nuggets and a ton of honey mustard. Steamed Pickerel. Maybe an eggroll or two with some sweet and sour. And don't forget a ton of s'mores and some mango juice to wash it down.

Or, if I feel like being fancy, Filet Mignon and Ceder Planked Salmon with some rice, lemon on the side. Chocolate cake. Oh, and some white vinegar.

If I'm going to die, I'm going to die stuffed and happy.
 
Just give me the cyanide tablet already you bloody bastard.
 
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HondoOokami said:
For mains, Home-made Sherpherd's Pie, and a cup of Earl Grey. For dessert, a whole cherry cheesecake.

If you can fit either a file or a loaded gun into either of those meals, that'll be most welcome :D
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I have it on good authority guns not only taste awful, but they do not digest well, at all.

The Silver Paladin said:
I'd bankrupt the Prison system, because I can:

Wagyu ribeye, Medium Rare, (Most expensiove steak.)
several cups Kopi Luwak coffee, (Most expensive coffee.)
6 California Roll from a restaurant near me, (Overpriced, but good as hell.)
Some wine taken from the Vatican itself, (Good luck getting this.)
Some B'Dubs wings, Medium sauce. (Not that expensive, but eh.)
For dessert: Chocolate Cake, produced by the world's finest chef, and made of the finest ingredients.

At risk of this sounding really cheesy: A kiss from the girl I love, and Jennifer Lawrence.

Oh, and a cyanide pill, with milk to wash it and the cake down with.
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I saw you ninja edit after Brovo. NO CYANIDE FOR YOU.

Something tells me if you request wine from the Vatican, you're getting a box of cheapass wine from the corner store. Also, I don't think last meals allow for alcohol, at least none I've seen.

Also, does Vatican City even have a winery? Something tells me if they have any one there, it's probably made somewhere else and I have no idea if they do anything special with it to make it communion friendly. o.o

Also, eating faces doesn't count. NO KISSES FOR YOOOOU.

Dipper said:
Fifty chicken nuggets and a ton of honey mustard. Steamed Pickerel. Maybe an eggroll or two with some sweet and sour. And don't forget a ton of s'mores and some mango juice to wash it down.

Or, if I feel like being fancy, Filet Mignon and Ceder Planked Salmon with some rice, lemon on the side. Chocolate cake. Oh, and some white vinegar.

If I'm going to die, I'm going to die stuffed and happy.
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You should totally just get boneless chicken wings; they taste waaay the hell better than chicken nuggets, damn it.

You're winning in the "Before you execute me, I have to spend a year on the shitter" category. :D

Brovo said:
Just give me the cyanide tablet already you bloody bastard.
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Don't you want some, I don't know, BBQ sauce with that?
 
Dervish said:
I saw you ninja edit after Brovo. NO CYANIDE FOR YOU.

Something tells me if you request wine from the Vatican, you're getting a box of cheapass wine from the corner store. Also, I don't think last meals allow for alcohol, at least none I've seen.

Also, does Vatican City even have a winery? Something tells me if they have any one there, it's probably made somewhere else and I have no idea if they do anything special with it to make it communion friendly. o.o

Also, eating faces doesn't count. NO KISSES FOR YOOOOU.
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IT'S MY LAST MEAL! CAN'T PEOPLE DREAM?

I'm kidding. I'm fine with whatever.

Edit: And by wine from the Vatican, i meant whatever the hell they have in their storehouse.
 
Dervish said:
You should totally just get boneless chicken wings; they taste waaay the hell better than chicken nuggets, damn it.

You're winning in the "Before you execute me, I have to spend a year on the shitter" category. :D
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I really like chicken nuggets, though.

If it postpones my death, I'll fill everything I eat with laxatives. Sorry prison guards, but if you don't want to be cleaning up the execution room, better get a titanium toilet in here ASAP.
 
All the ethic food and laxatives your little arms can carry.
 
Dipper said:
I really like chicken nuggets, though.

If it postpones my death, I'll fill everything I eat with laxatives. Sorry prison guards, but if you don't want to be cleaning up the execution room, better get a titanium toilet in here ASAP.
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The Butterfly said:
All the ethic food and laxatives your little arms can carry.
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You gents are all about the explosive finishes, eh?
 
Dervish said:
Don't you want some, I don't know, BBQ sauce with that?
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Maybe a glass of Jack Daniels with that. Alcohol took some of my family, may as well continue the misbegotten legacy.
 
I think I would go for a really good steak and some mashed potatoes. O__O And a hot fudge brownie for dessert.
 
The Brains of the Executioner and all the Prison Guards, with a side of fava beans.

---------

In all seriousness though.

Note: This list slowly grows as I both get new ideas and my appetite grows.
Granted I sometimes will gorge myself... and if it's my last meal I have no reason not to.
I mean I'm dying tomorrow, who the hell cares if I feel a bit woozy?

A Giant Poutine with pulled pork
Green Tea Ice Cream (Just give me the entire tub)
12 Salmon Handrolls + Soya Sauce
One bowl of Seaweed Salad (With chopsticks)
24 Cheese sticks
Two Soft Tacos, beef, sour cream & cheese, with extra of all.
Strawberry Milkshake (2L at least, these fuckers run out too fast)

Should be noted, the above is assuming I outright Gorge and have zero care for how I feel the next day. If this simply "Here's a good meal, but don't die on us the next day" I'd cut it down to this.

A Big Poutine with pulled pork
Green Tea Ice Cream - 5 Scoops
8 Salmon Handrolls + Soya Sauce
One bowl of Seaweed Salad (With chopsticks)
12 Cheese sticks
One Soft Taco, beef, sour cream & cheese, with extra of all.
Strawberry Milkshake (2L at least, these fuckers run out too fast)

+Watching the Original Star Wars Trilogy

One of the requests in the article included LOTR, so I'm assuming adding in a movie request is also valid for the thread.
 
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Brovo said:
Maybe a glass of Jack Daniels with that. Alcohol took some of my family, may as well continue the misbegotten legacy.
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Know what? Screw it.

My prison's a booze party.

But knowing you, I think you're safe from whatever legacy your family's left you; you're very good at drawing a line in the sand and not crossing it.

Diana said:
I think I would go for a really good steak and some mashed potatoes. O__O And a hot fudge brownie for dessert.
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That DOES sound really good.

...And I can totally have that for dinner tonight. yesssss.

Gen. Gwazi Magnum PI said:
The Brains of the Executioner and all the Prison Guards, with a side of fava beans.

---------

In all seriousness though.

A Giant Poutine with pulled pork
Green Tea Ice Cream (Just give me the entire tub)
12 Salmon Handrolls + Soya Sauce
24 Cheese sticks
Strawberry Milkshake

+Watching the Original Star Wars Trilogy

Once of the requests in the article included LOTR, so I'm assuming adding in a movie request is also valid for the thread.
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I can't say I've ever tried, let alone heard of, green tea ice cream. It's not super bitter?

Your request makes me sad because I'm lactarded and can't do dairy products, and I'm not spending my last hours alive on the toilet. >_>

Yeah, I thought that was really interesting that they let somebody watch a movie trilogy with his meal. He must have been an ideal prisoner or something, or been the first guy ever to request a movie with the meal.
 
Dervish said:
I can't say I've ever tried, let alone heard of, green tea ice cream. It's not super bitter?
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I think it's more of a unique liking to it that I have.
Me and my friends from High School all love the stuff.

But everyone else I talk to seems to hate it, thinking it tastes like old fish.

Though for me it tastes sweet, I guess?
It's hard to describe, I just like it, a lot.
Dervish said:
Your request makes me sad because I'm lactarded and can't do dairy products, and I'm not spending my last hours alive on the toilet. >_>
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I did not even realize how much dairy I had in that meal until I re-read that list. XD

The only non-dairy in there is Salmon Handrolls.
(Oh yea, I forgot to add seaweed salad to go with the Handrolls, I'll go add that in now).
Dervish said:
Yeah, I thought that was really interesting that they let somebody watch a movie trilogy with his meal. He must have been an ideal prisoner or something, or been the first guy ever to request a movie with the meal.
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Eh. If they can afford to order in any food and specially prepare it then they can afford to borrow CD (or hell, a streaming site) for a few hours.
 
I just want a build-your-own taco dinner, with some hot cheese and salsa for chips, an assortment of other Mexican foods, and just well...a lot of cheese. I'd want a large variety of drinks for me to go through, (cause I can drink like a motherfucker,) mostly various sodas, some tea, some juices, iced coffee, and egg nog.

But here's the catch, I'd request to have dinner guests, cause the last meal I have would be shitty if I spent it alone in a cell. I'd want to invite as many of the guards to the dinner, (they can have extra people guarding me if they're concerned,) and just goof off and get to know them before I go. My last hours should be happy ones, so why not surround myself with people who know each-other so I can go to my death feeling less like a prisoner and more like someone who matters. Then, when it's all over, i'd make sure the guards with the biggest families got the leftovers, stand up, take a breath, and;

"I'm ready."
 
Dervish said:
I have it on good authority guns not only taste awful, but they do not digest well, at all.
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Guns aren't to everyone's taste, that is true, but that's why I asked for it to be loaded, the gunpowder from the bullets make a great condiment and gives the gun that extra zing, which you won't find covering it with salt or pepper!
It's a true fact which I may have just made up. :D
 
The hearts of judge, jury and executioner. Any vital organ will do, however.
 
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