Your Brain on Autopilot

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Dipper

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As the titles says. What's the strangest/stupidest/most amusing thing you've done while on autopilot? AKA, that zoned-out state or hyper-focused state of mind where everything happens automatically, though not always... as they should.

Strangest thing I've done was try to sharpen my pen.

Heads up, kiddos: pens don't sharpen.
 
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... I used to have a BIG problem with my brain going on "autopilot" at the worst of times. One of which ended up with me attempting to sharpen, and as a result, breaking someone's automatic pencil. This was thanks to how similarly it was designed, to the real thing, minus the smoother tip x.x
 
When you have babies... Your brain goes away. The list of stupid things I have done begins with calling my husband 'bud'instead of babe... To forgetting my own birthday at the phone store...
 
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Oh jeez... autopilot is practically my brain's default setting. I do at least one ridiculous thing on autopilot per day. Let's see what I can think of off the top of my head...
  • Leaving my dorm room with a towel in my hand, despite not needing a towel for anything. (Happens often.)
  • Pulling out my phone because I intend to use a specific app for something, but then I open an app that isn't at all related to what I wanted to be doing, and then it takes me at least a few seconds of using that app before I stop and think "wait, what was I trying to do just now?" before I then realize "!! I was trying to open my email!! Not Pokemon Go!!" and then I finally switch gears back to what I wanted to be doing originally. (Also happens very often.)
    • Similar things often happen when I need to use my computer for something important. I'll open my laptop and then fire up Discord for literally no reason. And then it'll take me a while before I remember that I did not want to open Discord at all and that I nearly forgot about the important thing that I was actually going to do.
  • Intending to put my half-finished drink in the fridge, but instead leaving my drink sitting on the table and putting my pills in the fridge.
  • I almost tried to put a 45 RPM record in a CD drive.
    • And conversely, yes, I almost tried to play a CD using a turntable.
  • Sometimes when I change clothes, I'll forget to take off what I was previously wearing before trying to put on the next thing.
  • There have been a few instances where I reached for my adderall when I meant to grab my sleeping pills because I was about to climb into bed. That would accomplish the exact opposite of what I wanted to do. Thankfully, I have always been able to stop myself before actually taking the wrong pill. o_o""
I might come back here with more if I think of any... In fact, I might come back to this thread with regular updates on all of my many derp moments...
 
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It's not the worst thing I've done but I do it pretty often when I'm thinking about lots of things at once while trying to type. My brain like... autofills? and it makes no sense and looks absurd. For example, I mean to type "I'll be away between ---" but will end up typing "I'll be away beneath ---" .

On a similar note, I'll sometimes drift between languages while typing in the same way (that's much more uncommon, though, and usually only happens if I switched from writing primarily in one to trying to write while distracted in the other).
 
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Me going on auto-pilot is when we all know that I need more sleep. It is also the time people can take advantage of me the easiest. Need someone to hand you the whole assignment complete? Wait until I'm only working with half a mind or less. I basically turn into a 'yes'-man. Luckily no one has done that to me, yet.

Putting on shirts backwards happens pretty often to me. Then I find the collar fitting strange, try to pull at it, and then find out that I should turn it around.

Wearing a pair of mismatched shoes. Both were sneakers, both were purple. Thank the heavens no one noticed except from my friends.

Opening up random, unrelated apps, like Kaga mentioned before.

Leaving keys in the fridge, or front door. Just putting random things in the fridge in general.

Opening the fridge a multiple times after determining there is nothing inside of it that I want to eat.

Putting soap on my toothbrush instead of toothpaste. Good thing I noticed there was something wrong with the consistency of the 'toothpaste'.
 
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- When you start a new game, but are comboing with the buttons from the game you just finished.
- I've trapped my cat in my closet before because she snuck in while I was putting clothes away. Took me six hours to realise she was absent. She didn't mind it actually - just napped all day, I guess. Fur everywhere.
- I've fed pets the wrong food before. Dog food is on the left and cat food is on the right. Brain doesn't understand that this can easily be sabotaged.
- I've left my portfolio at home when I actually need it. Ever tried to appear professional when you little have nothing with you? Yeaaaah. Just here to see my pretty face, right? Right? :D
- One time when I was small, I went swimming and I had somehow managed to put my underwear on over my swimsuit when I zoned out while changing. I was completely unaware of this. So when I took my casuals off, I ran to the water with my undies out and they were very bright white in the sun. *.* And there was like a hundred people there to witness their glory.
- I autopilot at the store, only waking for Clearance deals.
 
Sometimes when I'm cooking, my brain get onto autopilot, especially when I'm measuring my ingredients.

For example, accidentally put 5 cups of rice instead of 3, pouring too much sauce to the point the pan overflows, etc. etc
 
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