LESSON WRITING Writing From Your Character's Head

wren.

elegance is more important than suffering
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internal perspective
Introduction
Hello fellow Iwakian!

This time I thought I'd discuss some of the intricacies of writing from inside your character's head and how many people, even published writers, don't always nail the perspective perfectly.

The Pros and Cons of Limited vs. Omniscient POV
I think it's a lot easier to write from inside a character's head when you are writing in the first person, as writing in the third person can often lead to slipping into an omniscient viewpoint that was unintentional and/or inconsistent with the rest of the story. The fact is, if you are not writing from an omniscient perspective (meaning that the speaker knows all of the thoughts and feelings of every character in the story), then you should only be writing about the thoughts and feelings of one character. While you can write about the character like an outsider talking about someone else, it is also possible to write from inside the character's head as if you were writing in the first person, and I'd argue it's almost more compelling to do so.

While writing outside the character's head has its perks, allowing for a greater range of what you can touch on in the world surrounding the character, writing from within the character's mind is usually not only more immersive but also leads to more satisfying storytelling. This is because the reader is limited to only the knowledge and perception of the main character, which are always incomplete and sometimes faulty. What is not known lends itself to mystery, making twists and revelations more compelling. Additionally, suppose you were to write from the perspective of an unreliable narrator. In that case, it gives your story re-readability as you try to parse out what reality is versus what the character is presenting to you.

In my time writing, I have seen many writers break into an omniscient style out of nowhere, which detracts from the rest of the paragraph. As readers, we do not need to know that your character isn't aware that their enemy is about to trick them. We are already fully aware of what is happening and that your character is ignorant of it, so stating as much is unnecessary and could come across as a slight to the reader's intelligence. You should always write as clearly as possible, but you should not hold your reader's hand and spoon-feed them information (unless you are writing for a child audience, perhaps).

Writing like this also encourages a poor habit of sudden character omniscience. Why is your character suddenly telepathic and able to perfectly understand another character's thoughts and intentions that they have yet to be privy to? It is unlikely that your character would be able to catch on to every other character's master plan and notice every little deception so that they can evade every disaster. Maybe you're trying to get to the drama faster, but it's unfortunately not a very organic way of doing so.

Having established some of the pros and cons of writing from a limited versus an omniscient perspective, note that the rest of this lesson will be advice on writing from a limited perspective.

Your Character is Not Looking at Themself
Unless you are looking into a mirror, comparing yourself to others, or talking to friends about appearances, how often do you think about your appearance? Probably not often, as you are too busy living within your body. Similarly, your character is also living within their body and would not be referring to it as if someone else is talking about them. For example:

"Startled by the sight, his brown eyes widen, and he cries out in alarm."

Why would the character be referring to his own brown eyes in a moment that is decidedly not one where he is thinking about his appearance? He is not viewing himself from the outside. Similarly, body reactions like widening one's eyes or pupil dilation are automatic and not usually something you would notice you are doing until afterward (if ever). Consider this instead:

"Startled by the sight, he cries out in alarm."

I'm willing to bet that you still imagine wide eyes while reading that sentence. That's because we have an intuitive understanding of what being startled looks like, and so we project that expectation onto the scene already without being explicitly told.

Verbs of Perception and Cognition NEED TO GO
Simply put, they are unnecessary. Humor me with this exercise, if you will:

Please close your eyes, count to three, and open them again. What do you see? Probably whatever screen you're reading this on. Now, was there a step between closing your eyes and perceiving the screen that you'd call "seeing?" No, your eyes were closed, and then the screen was there when you opened them. Similarly, was there a step between counting to three in your head, or did you just do it?

All that to say, you do not need verbs like "see, thinks, wonders, etc." as they are all superfluous. Consider this example:

"She looks at Henry, who is holding a worn red book."

Let's cut out the verb of perception, shall we?

"Henry is holding a worn red book."

Another example:

"Disconcerted, he slinks down the narrow alleyway as quietly as he can, wondering what will happen if they catch him."

versus

"Disconcerted, he slinks down the narrow alleyway as quietly as he can. What will happen if they catch him?"

It's a subtle change, but it is excellent for anchoring the point of view in the character's head. Bear in mind that eliminating these verbs is not possible for every single sentence. Still, if you can omit the verb (either altogether or through a slight re-write of the sentence), then it will likely be a more substantial sentence without it.

Conclusion
I hope all of that helped you think about some things a bit differently, even if you don't wind up adopting these tips! If you'd like to practice, feel free to take a paragraph from one of your works and then re-write it below according to these tips and see if they're stronger or not.
 
*Glances nervously in third person writing style that probably uses a lot of verbs* /hj /hj
I will see what I can do to better my third person writing! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and tips :)
 
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*Glances nervously in third person writing style that probably uses a lot of verbs* /hj /hj
I will see what I can do to better my third person writing! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and tips :)

There's never a wrong way to write (unless you're failing to convey what you want to convey), only different ways of writing. I'm glad that you found use in this, though!
 
I've been unhappy with my writing lately, because I feel it doesn't really ... feel the way I imagine I wanted it to feel. Yesterday, for example this is an exact quote of what happened;
*Writes 615 words on that story I wanted to write*
'This doesn't feel right at all, it feels super messy'
*Deletes 604 of those words.*
'....I have ... 11 words. Ha! Two sentences. ... Progress amiright :')'

So I've definitely been thinking about my writing a lot lately!! I just read a post about showing vs telling too, and I think I need to write more and practice more! I've been getting back into writing lately and I'm also looking to learn about it so this is good, really :D Thanks a lot ^^
 
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I'm necroing this thread because it was advertised to me! I'm not to blame!

I think of narration as where my imaginary camera is positioned. If it is following one person right behind their head, it's third-person limited (like Harry Potter). If it's continuously moving around the scene, it can either be third-person objective (I only describe what the camera sees) or omniscient (my camera can peer into their head). If it positioned inside someone's head, it's first person. If it's looking into their face, then it's second person :frogface:

Funny enough, by chance I have exclusively consumed first person literature this year since getting a kindle, all of it critically acclaimed. Too bad it's not a perspective suited for RP :)
 
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I'm necroing this thread because it was advertised to me! I'm not to blame!

I think of narration as where my imaginary camera is positioned. If it is following one person right behind their head, it's third-person limited (like Harry Potter). If it's continuously moving around the scene, it can either be third-person objective (I only describe what the camera sees) or omniscient (my camera can peer into their head). If it positioned inside someone's head, it's first person. If it's looking into their face, then it's second person :frogface:

Funny enough, by chance I have exclusively consumed first person literature this year since getting a kindle, all of it critically acclaimed. Too bad it's not a perspective suited for RP :)
Not suited for group rps, ye, but back before I forum-roleplayed, I was collaborating a story with my old tumblr buddy and while I wrote in third person, he wrote first, and it worked pretty well without his character seeming like the lone "main" character of our shared story. So I suppose it could work in a 1x1 or a small group where all parties are interested in tryin it out!
 
I'm necroing this thread because it was advertised to me! I'm not to blame!

I think of narration as where my imaginary camera is positioned. If it is following one person right behind their head, it's third-person limited (like Harry Potter). If it's continuously moving around the scene, it can either be third-person objective (I only describe what the camera sees) or omniscient (my camera can peer into their head). If it positioned inside someone's head, it's first person. If it's looking into their face, then it's second person :frogface:

Funny enough, by chance I have exclusively consumed first person literature this year since getting a kindle, all of it critically acclaimed. Too bad it's not a perspective suited for RP :)

I actually used to write in first-person when I first started roleplaying, even in group roleplay settings. I still do it with my personal writing sometimes but mostly have transitioned to third-person limited. Personally, I don't mind it much, although it can certainly look out of place in a group setting when everyone else is using the third-person. Then again, you'll find that with tenses as well. I usually use present tense while everyone I know uses past, and your mind usually acclimates to the difference pretty quickly.
 
your mind usually acclimates to the difference pretty quickly.
for me its the opposite, its so jarring 🤣

idk, call me old school, but if yer prose is standing out (and therefore detracting) from the natural flow of the story, in my rps, i will ask u to adjust, just cause its not smth i like to go back and reread thru. everyone has a voice, unique and whole and i dont like one player being the odd one out and calling attention and reshifting the focus of the narrative. it def aint for everyone, but das how i been rollin 4awhile
 
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Daaaayum this was an eye opener, I know I'm not a perfect writer and my posts fall victim to redundancy and continuity errors now and then, but I didn't realize it was that bad. Not me wanting to go back and proofread all my posts. 😭 Kinda blew my mind here tho, ima defo keep this lesson in mind, thanks for sharing!
 
Daaaayum this was an eye opener, I know I'm not a perfect writer and my posts fall victim to redundancy and continuity errors now and then, but I didn't realize it was that bad. Not me wanting to go back and proofread all my posts. 😭 Kinda blew my mind here tho, ima defo keep this lesson in mind, thanks for sharing!
Your writing isn't terrible if you don't follow this; it's just one way of looking at things. You'll actually find a lot of well-known authors slip up on their perspective here and there. Most times, I didn't even realize it while reading stories until my creative writing professors pointed it out, lol. It's very common.
 
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I'm necroing this thread because it was advertised to me! I'm not to blame!

I think of narration as where my imaginary camera is positioned. If it is following one person right behind their head, it's third-person limited (like Harry Potter). If it's continuously moving around the scene, it can either be third-person objective (I only describe what the camera sees) or omniscient (my camera can peer into their head). If it positioned inside someone's head, it's first person. If it's looking into their face, then it's second person :frogface:

Funny enough, by chance I have exclusively consumed first person literature this year since getting a kindle, all of it critically acclaimed. Too bad it's not a perspective suited for RP :)
Not suited for group rps, ye, but back before I forum-roleplayed, I was collaborating a story with my old tumblr buddy and while I wrote in third person, he wrote first, and it worked pretty well without his character seeming like the lone "main" character of our shared story. So I suppose it could work in a 1x1 or a small group where all parties are interested in tryin it out!
Yes, that thought occurred to me as well!
 
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Daaaayum this was an eye opener, I know I'm not a perfect writer and my posts fall victim to redundancy and continuity errors now and then, but I didn't realize it was that bad. Not me wanting to go back and proofread all my posts. 😭 Kinda blew my mind here tho, ima defo keep this lesson in mind, thanks for sharing!
These are tips that increase the chances of writing a coherent story, but don't guarantee it. I think the best authors break them all the time!