EXERCISE Writing Challenge - Goodbye

Discussion in 'REFINING WRITING' started by ElBell, Mar 2, 2015.

  1. We all have to do it sometime in our lives, but saying goodbye isn't always as bad a thing as people may think. Sometimes the simple act of waving away something can provide freedom, hope, or peace of mind. While that doesn't mean it's painless, it isn't a constant source of suffering either, and that is where the inspiration for this challenge comes along.

    For this challenge, the goal is to write a scene of your character saying goodbye to something in a way that is not the typical sad goodbye we often think of or see. Maybe they're saying goodbye to their old job to move away for their dream job, or maybe they're waving off a lover they can finally escape for their independance. Anything you can think to say goodbye to, so long as it's positive for your character and their reflected emotions!
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  2. Positive. Dramatic.
    Aye aye!

    "A cut separates the bond."
    My heart sank upon remembering those words.

    That was what you would always say when we were kids, right? I... I never thought that would happen to you, of all people. You were our leader. You were our friend.... You were my brother. And yet, you were the one to die. I was thrown into a blind fury, I was almost killed by him as well... Half of the company has left since that day, seeing me as an incompetent leader, and many more mourn the loss of you. You were our hero, you were the one who was to put an end to the war, and yet...
    Here I am today, standing in your place. I am commanding your company, wearing your badge, wielding your honor, but... I'm not you. I'm not a hero. The only similarity we bear is our birthdate and family name.
    I remove my hair's tail in your name. I separate a bond that will never be severed. You are not me, and I am not you. I was weak, again blinded by my sorrow, but I refuse to longer compensate for something I am not! We aren't the same person! We are brothers by blood, and this is my resolve!

    After this, I separate my spirit from yours...
    "Men!... Onward!"
    I tried.
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  3. "Look, you're great. Please, just listen okay? More than great actually, you're fantastic! But...I can't live like this anymore. People are beginning to worry about me. About us..." Kate put her head in her hands, shaking it ever so slightly. Who knew things like this could be so hard... "We've been through some good times together, and you've helped me through all those rough patches in my life...but they think you're just too much of a bad influence on me." There was another pause as Kate sighed. "And you know...I'm starting to think they're right. I can change! After all these months, I can change! I know I can...but you’re really hindering that you know? I’m finally starting to realize it.” With a heavy sigh, Kate stood and then placed her hands on the small pouch of her stomach. “I mean, you’re making me fat! That’s not cool!” Her eyes went to the pile of snacks and sweets she just cleaned out from her fridge and pantry. Kate gave the food an accusing glare. With another sigh, Kate relaxed and gave a nod of finality. “Now that I have the motivation and the will to get rid of you, I am saying goodbye...Before you cause any more unneeded weight.”

    “...Um...Aunt Katie... are you done now?” A teenage boy watched with a weirded gaze as his aunt talked to her food. Man, she really did need to get rid of it all. “I’m just going to...take all this now and give it to the guys since their outside.” He had wondered why she called him over, and seeing...this, he knew it was probably best he took the food.

    Kate meanwhile cleared her throat and nodded. “Alright Marcus, go on. You can take them. It’s time for me to go out on the hiking trail anyway. I have to start now before I lose the motivation!”

    “Uh, good luck?”

    “Lock the door when you’re done!”

    That took a turn I didn't expect...Still, mildly amusing.
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  4. Gravity hurts. I'd never thought of it before now. I... I've never had to. And now the ashes, half-burned feathers, fill my mouth, the smell clogging my nose. Smell. Taste. Feel. I can hear now. I can see everything. You thought it perfect. You thought Yourself infallible. And yet that is Your single flaw. I see everything now.

    Every nook, every cranny. Every beast, every one of Your "perfect" creations, Your chosen son and his "perfect" wife. We... I stood by You from the beginning. I served You from the start, dutifully and outstandingly. And You chose them over me. And when I protested, when we protested, we were punished. Clipped, stripped, and tossed aside. Broken toys of a cruel child. And how long till they are broken as well? She is the weak one. He was made from the purest essence. She was made secondhand. She will break first.

    I look and see the others, plummeting as I do. I see their faces, and the pain in their eyes. The fear. The betrayal. Your magnificent creations must crane their necks to peer at us, and they worship us as we fall from grace. They, shooting stars blazing across the sky. And I. The Morningstar. Our radiance blinds them. Yet, as we lose everything that we were, something rises inside of me. And I see it in their eyes. They feel it too.

    As we hit our marks, the earth shakes around us. I feel pain. Pain. For the first time, I feel pain. And it is glorious. Agony is my ambrosia. I rise, and my body protests. My body? Is it so? A form for my own. I can see them, as they rise in the same wonder as I. They no longer burn with radiance, but radiate emptiness. And yet it is filled with these new sensations. We hear each other's voices, truly hear them for the first time. Majestic songs to our ears. Many begin to feel each other, to experience the touch of another. We gaze at one another, and see beauty. We feel... Something. Arousal? Passion? Love?

    And now I realize. I have been trapped in an immortal coil, unfeeling at the cost of power. In taking away what we were, You have given us something more. New wings grow on my shoulders. A fragmented mirror of what they once were, but even more beautiful for it. My eyes darken, and the world around me seems even clearer. My power is finally my own.

    I will teach Your creations. I will teach them to love. I will teach them to hate, and to love their hate, and to hate their love of hate. They will despise themselves, yet adore themselves for being free of You. You have given me the greatest gift ever, and You don't even realize it.

    The others look to me now. A new world opens before me. It is mine, and mine alone. And so I bid thee farewell, to brood over your ruin while I rule a paradise of my own making. I am free...


    (Ain't it majestic?)
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  5. Fingers held on tightly to the framed picture, a happy family, the smiles on their faces brought tears to her green eyes, singling the young girl in the photo, she looked at her purple dress, her beautiful long blonde hair and her dimpled grin.

    Placing the frame back down, she walked from the mantelpiece, the room felt so empty, so lonely. She felt the leather arm rest of the couch as she walked past it. Smiling, memories flooding back, so many full of joy, some painful and one in particular that moment
    everything changed.

    Walking into the kitchen, she looked out into the garden, seeing the swing sway with the wind, she saw that little girl running away from a boy, the two laughing and having fun. She watched as the little girl and boy sat on the swing, holding hands and that first special moment.

    Tears were hard to hold back as
    all those memories came back to her, finally walking upstairs, she knew she couldn't hold back anymore, spotting an old teddy bear. The first one she ever got. She couldn't forget that. So many memories of passion and love. She wasn't sure if she was ready, to begin a new life.

    Doubts were silly at this point, she didn't really have them, just leaving was harder than she thought. Picking up the last of the boxes, she wiped the tears from her eyes as she heard someone call her. That little boy who she loved since she was that little girl. She looked over her room one last time.
    "Amber are you ready to go?"
    His head popped into the room, seeing the tears in her eyes he hugged her. She nodded kissing his cheek.
    "Yeah last box. Can you take it?"
    He let go and took it walking back out. She took a few minutes looking over her room one last time.

    She walked down the stairs, smiling, she would missed this place, miss all the memories that it held but she was moving on with her life, looking down at the sparkling ring on her finger, she was going to be making her own happy family. Her own home.

    Saying goodbye was always hard but she was saying goodbye to her old home and hello to her new one.
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  6. The mixture of tear and blood once again streamed down her face when he hit her. His rough, calloused hands shattered her beautiful skin. It happened many times before, and just tonight as countless other nights; she lost count of it all. It was something of a torturous reliance, a relationship she hated but never mustered up the courage to let go. It will get better, she always told herself. It's only gotten worse.

    As more drunken words were slurred and those painful strikes connected, she finally reached her breaking point. A restrained desire inside, something yearning for an end, awoke from its years of slumber. When his fists raised again, she was ready.

    Her body shifted just in time to avoid him, and as he launched forward, she leveraged his momentum and brought him down. Her mind, shocked from her sudden action, nearly hid in her usual escape of apologies. However, she pushed herself away. She broke through the door and flew into the awaiting darkness, tears and blood drying in the cool wind; she ran until her surroundings became unfamiliar, until she reached a place unknown and her lungs burned from the mad sprint. Somehow, the fear she felt was gone, replaced by a sense of relief.

    As a child, the night's mystery often frightened her. No more, the very air she breathed now signified freedom; a chance to begin anew.
    #6 Glaciercold, Mar 3, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2015
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  7. Rick Carter was a writer who worked at a journal called "The Writer's Guild." It was a journal that specialized in writing fictional short stories for various literary journals. His editor Candice McPherson called him into her office early one morning and Rick entered after knocking on the door.

    She motioned for Rick to have a seat and asked, "Rick I'll cut to the chase. It's been three days since Clayton Simmons called here asking if you want to go learn and study with him. Are you going to accept his offer or not?"

    Rick shook his head slowly and said, "I don't think so. I plan on calling him around lunch time here since he's on the West Coast. I just have so much going here at the Guild, and being here suits me. Being with Simmons I know I could learn a lot and his reputation as a great writer speaks for itself. However I've heard he can be a real taskmaster, and getting a compliment from him is almost as rare as finding a unicorn at the end of a rainbow holding the winning lotto ticket."

    Candice rolled her eyes and slid back into her chair. She then leaned forward and said, "Rick this is like being a songwriter and Springsteen asking you if you want to learn songwriting from him. Or Jesus asking you directly if you want to a be an apostle. This is your ticket to the big time, and you can learn more from him in four days than you can learn in another four years here. Don't you want to grow and learn as a writer? Is being a big fish in the little pond that important to you?"

    Rick replied, "I admit it's a bit of an ego thing here, but I don't know if I'm ready. Maybe in a couple of years someone else will make me an offer like this. I just don't know Candice."

    Candice took a deep breath and asked, "Did you ever hear the story of James Worthy and Dean Smith?" Rick gave her a strange look and said, "Before your time I know, but I think it applies here. Dean Smith coached at UNC for years he coached some of the all time greats including Michael Jordan. Now Worthy was great he was the only player that when Dean Smith saw him he said, 'The minute I saw him I knew he was going to be a star in the NBA.' Worthy won 3 NBA titles with the Lakers, a finals MVP, and eventually went into the Hall of Fame."

    Candice looked at Rick and said, "You're my Worthy. I read three of your sentences on your first story and I knew you were gonna be a great writer. Simmons read your stuff and sees the same destiny for greatness that I see. Rick you're ready to go pro."

    Rick shook his head and said, "Candice I don't know if I'm ready I can still do a lot of good here. I got a couple of great story ideas that..."

    Candice held up her hand and Rick stopped talking. Candice then picked up the phone and said, "This is McPherson on the fourth floor send two of your guys up here."

    Candice hung up the phone and Rick asked, "What are you doing?"

    Candice replied, "The only other option available to me." Rick looked at her for a moment and Candice said, "Rick you're fired."

    Rick was dumbstruck as Candice said, "Rick you have so much potential and we've done everything we can here to challenge you, and to get you ready for bigger and better things. As much as I want you to stay I would be doing you a disservice as a writer, and your friend if I held you back. This is the only way to get you to do this now. Rick, I never told anyone this but I had a chance like this once and turned it down. I don't want you to make that same mistake."

    Candice let those words hang over Rick and said, "I believe in you Rick. It's time for you to take a chance on you."

    Rick nodded slowly as there was a knock on the door. Candice said, "Come in." Two Security Guards entered and Candice said, "Hi guys can you wait out there for a few moments. Mr. Carter is resigning from our company and we're just cleaning up some loose ends. Once we're done in here please make sure HR gets his parking pass, key card that sort of thing."

    The guards nodded and closed the door as they left. Rick looked up at Candice and said, "I won't ever forgot you. My first book is being dedicated to you."

    Candice looked almost offended as she said, "Book dedication? There you go selling yourself short again. Rick when you win the Pulitzer I fully expected to be thanked right after God and your parents."

    Rick chuckled and said, "Done."

    Candice pushed the phone in front of Rick and said, "Call him, One thing you should know about Clayton he goes from sun up to sundown."

    Rick called Clayton and told him of his acceptance. After the call Candice and Rick looked at each other for a moment. Candice then got up and walked over to Rick. He stood up and the two embraced. Candice said, "I'm so happy and proud of you Rick, and I'm gonna miss you. Please keep in touch."

    Rick replied, "I will. I promise I won't ever forget you."

    The two broke their embrace and Rick said, "Goodbye Candice." With a smile and a tear falling Candice said, "Goodbye Rick."
    #7 MST3K 4ever, Mar 3, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2015
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