Would you rather receive a reply late, or not at all?

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Opal, Nov 20, 2015.


Better late than never?

  1. NEVER. I'll probably have forgotten and not care anymore.

    1 vote(s)
  2. Late! My inbox is always open.

    47 vote(s)
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. *adjusts glasses* for my research

    Seriously though, I want to know. My logical mind tells me most people would probably want to receive something sometime, but the other part of me says 'it's been two days and therefore if you reply now they will hate you and yell at you forever.'
    • Love Love x 1
  2. Definitely better late than never! ESPECIALLY if it's something important like an RP-related matter, or anything else that I clearly wanted a reply about. If it's just some casual conversation that someone stops replying to, then I probably wouldn't care either way -- but if it's something like "Hey, are you still interested in this RP? You haven't posted in a while" then I DEFINITELY want a response. Late is most certainly better than never. I don't even care if the answer is "yeah no sorry, I want to drop out" -- I would actually greatly, greatly prefer such a reply to mere silence.

    As a GM, I can't tell you how much it drives me insane to see people avoid mentioning these things because they think I'll be mad or something. @_@ I try to emphasize as much as I can that I would so very very much prefer people being honest about wanting to drop-out than to be left in silence, and yet, it still happens. DX I can understand why some people might feel guilty about admitting such a thing, or fear that I might get angry, but, I won't. I just want to know whether or not people are still on-board. It's perfectly alright if the answer is no. The most I could do to change someone's mind is perhaps offer an "are you sure?", and then try to get them feeling inspired again if they say that they're not totally sure about leaving, or otherwise give me reason to think that there's some small thing I could do that would make them want to stay. But if people really want to leave? I won't stop them. The only reason I might send multiple reminder messages is because I want a reply.

    So yes, late is definitely better than never. Especially if it's only two days. I mean, that's practically nothing. Plus, I'm not sitting around with my eyes glued to your profile wondering whether or not you've seen my message yet. At least not after only two days, anyway. If it's been weeks and you haven't replied, even though I can tell that you've been online and active all that time, then, yeah, that'll bother me a little, but I'd rather get a reply that's two weeks late than four weeks late, and I'd rather get a reply that's four weeks late than never get a reply at all.

    And you have to be a special kind of evasive to make me want to yell at someone for a late reply. Nine times out of ten, I'll be happy that I got a reply at all. I might ask why it took them so long to reply -- if the reasoning wasn't already made clear -- but that's usually only because, when people take an absurd amount of time to reply despite being active the whole time, I can generally only assume that they either forgot about my message, or they're too afraid to respond -- and the former becomes more and more unlikely with each consecutive reminder sent. If I ask, it's only because I want to know what the problem is, so that I can fix it -- especially since I really, really, really don't want people to be afraid to message me about these things, and I will tell people a thousand times that I would greatly prefer an answer over silence if that's what it takes to get the message across.

    Sorry if all the GMing talk is off-topic and/or not what you were going for, but it was definitely the first thing that came to mind, and I certainly wanted to throw all that out there in case the fear you mentioned about replying late does extend to GM's, as I'm probably not the only GM who feels this way. O_O

    In more casual contexts, I wouldn't really care much either way. If it's just some conversation that you forgot about, then I probably won't even notice or care if I never get a reply. If you do reply late to a conversation like that, then, well, I certainly have no reason to be angry about a late reply, at the very least. It just... doesn't make a difference to me. Do whatever you want to do.

    But if we're talking about RPing, or if there's any other important thing that I clearly want an answer about, then yes, message me. Late is a thousand times better than never. Honestly, there have been times when people have messaged me months after the fact -- long after I'd already assumed I was never getting a response and did away with their characters or whatever I needed to do -- and even then, I wasn't mad that I got a reply. If anything, I actually really appreciate seeing people take the time to clear things up with me even all that time later. There's usually not much I can do about their spot in the RP after all that time, but, it's still nice to see that they cared enough to say something.
  3. Most of the time, I want a reply. But once it happened to me, that I started a roleplay I was really excited about. My partner had been active through the planning process, even if posting the character sheet took a bit of time. Anyway. I wrote the first post. I always leave clear I'd like at least a response a day. A week went by. Nothing. I sent a reminder. They said something like "I'll get to it tonight." Another week. I decided the roleplay wouldn't even start. And then they replied.

    At that point, I would have preferred they never replied. That reply made me more angry. But in every other scenario? Yes please. A late reply is better than nothing.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Are you Female Me?

    I've fallen out of contact with so many people, including good friends, because I stopped replying or talking for that exact reason you say.
  5. Don't presume you know what people think, feel or will do. What is in your mind is not per say in theirs. Even if they do end up 'yelling' at you, don't let a potential negative reaction keep you from doing the right thing. I mean, if you want a life filled with if-statements, it's more lucrative to pursue a career in programming.

    EDIT: Also regarding the poll question, @Kaga-kun was so nice to write out most of my thoughts for me. Communication is key. Most people will not judge you. 2-3 days is absolutely nothing. etc.
    #5 Kestrel, Nov 21, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2015
    • Like Like x 1
  6. This is a no brainer. Better the late reply than just ditching the person because you're feeling awkward.

    Also, two days? Adorable. I go weeks before replying sometimes because I'm the worst. :D
  7. Two days is late? Man you kids are all go go go aincha?
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Lol, two days? I expect people to reply to me within one to three. If not, I would like to hear the explanation. Even a week doesn't bother me too badly. If it reaches two, I'll think you quit. Three? Your Pm will be deleted, or I will stop watching the thread. If you come back after a month or two, don't expect me to start playing again. Either, we'll have to restart, choose something else, or stop playing entirely. I only choose to play with players who can reply on a regular basis. If the reply count dips off without much of an explanation, it's apparent to me that you don't care, or are too busy.

    However, I do have one roleplay that has replies on a weekly, and not daily, or bi-weekly basis. I don't mind it, because I understand that that player posts at that speed.
  9. ALSO, since a lot of people have mentioned the speed at which their roleplays move, I feel I should clarify that when I'm sending reminders for a reply, I don't mean for the roleplay as much as simply a response to my question of whether or not you're still on-board.

    Because I always do group RP's and don't RP in PM's, it wasn't at the forefront of my mind, but, even then, it seems that that miscommunication still happens. There have been times when I've had people who weren't replying to my PM's but were clearly still active elsewhere, and, ordinarily I would've assumed that they were being too shy to tell me that they were dropping, but, no, apparently they still really wanted to be in the RP but were just facing some writer's block at that particular point in time, and never replied to any of my PM's asking "you still here??" because they assumed that such PM's meant that I wanted an IC post from them. >> So, a reminder to all you RPers out there: when a GM asks if you're still interested, that doesn't always translate to them asking for a post. Often times, it literally just means they're asking you if you're still interested. (And, in my case, if I'm trying to send a straight-up post reminder, I'll just tell people I'm sending them a friendly post reminder.)

    But yeah, I also emphasize to my players that it's totally ok for them to be honest about losing inspiration, as I'd love to help players work through those blocks if they're still interested in playing (I find that just bouncing ideas around with another person works wonders). So, yeah, my point still remains that if I keep asking for an answer, it's because I want an answer and I'll gladly take that answer better late than never, but, yeah, everything I said in my first post mainly just refers to OOC conversations about an RP and not the RP itself. IC posts are a totally different ball park. Not only do a lot of my IC's move at a fairly slow pace in general, but, I'm also rather forgiving if people have stuff going on in their lives. If people say that they can't post yet but they will later then that's fine. Just so long as that you communicate with me about it, and don't dodge my questions when I ask if you're still around. >.<

    And, yeah, giving people an OOC poke does not automatically mean "I want you to post in the IC". It is 1000% ok for you to respond with an honest, OOC answer to my question and not post on the IC right away. In fact, that's kind of what I'm expecting when I ask these kinds of questions.
  10. I voted for:
    Late! My inbox is always open.
  11. So do I, but mostly because if it's been two days I'm like 'IT'S BEEN TOO LONG...' like I mentioned in the first post. D': I guess two days isn't long at all, though. I just wish I could convince my irrational brain of this haha.

    All these responses are very helpful! Thank you guys!
  12. Haha, voted for always a reply, better late than never. Although I'm not a GM, Kaga-Kun has given a very good answer that I pretty much agree with. I will always prefer an answer to not getting one. Even, maybe especially, if it's just to tell me there's no more interest on the other end.

    There might be some times when I don't really want to get a reply, like if someone hasn't answered me for over a month and I've sent them more than one 'still interested?' message they haven't answered and they're obviously active elsewhere, and then they finally give me something, if I've moved on by then, I'll be a little annoyed. And if it keeps happening, my enthusiasm will start to diminish fairly rapidly. But as most of my rps are collaborative efforts I put much thought and care into, I am often willing to wait months if my partner vanishes off the face of the earth. Or if they regularly update me on their status of 'sorry, too busy' or 'sorry, writer's block' or 'nyah, I dun wanna post today, but hiiiiiiii I'm still interested'. I've waited over a year before, and have just been thrilled to get a hey, sorry, I got totally distracted and forgot about this site, my bad, you still interested?

    I really don't care what the reason is, provided I get a response. :P
  13. A late reply is of course better than none at all. I'm choosy about RP partners nowadays, so I don't need to worry about this as much anymore. I want to write with people who will communicate with me. The majority of them will straight up tell me if they're getting bored with our RP, or need to go on hiatus for a while. Also, I tend to take my sweet time, so why don't you do the same? lol

    Otherwise, if I just don't hear from someone for too long, I shrug it off. If you don't care anymore, I don't either.

  14. This...
  16. Late. 'Two days' is cute. Try months. xD
  17. You have to remember that life happens to EVERYONE. No one knows what tomorrow brings, and even though you may love to write, there may be times when you just don't have it in you. If someone near and dear passes away, you loose your job, school is being overwhelming, your dog ran away, you just got engaged. There are so many good and bad reasons that can bring us away from our PC or whatever you use to write. For myself personally, writing is something I love, but its not something I can do under a lot of stress or pressure. My mind and body need to be in a good state so that I can write at the best of my ability, and for me, I never want to roleplay and write when I'm not firing off my best work.

    However! I think that communication is also important, and informing a player/friend that you're going to be afk when you can is a really good thing to do. This is something I myself need to work on personally, but I think everyone can as well. So if you're ever worried about their feelings or what they might think due to your late response, the least you can do is send them a friendly, "Insert Reason of Leave Here" message, and I'm sure they'll understand.

    And for those scoffing at poor Fauna, even though two days may seem very short time to wait for a reply, if you're used to getting a reply from someone every 30 minutes or every hour, and its been constantly that way for say... A week? Then they vanish for two days I'm sure you're going to be questioning, "What happened to them? They haven't missed a beat since we started..." So I could at least see it from their point of view. Though, it is true that pretty much anyone should be totally understanding for a short absence, especially one as short as two days. <3
  18. Late. We all grown. We all got shits to do. Handle ya business first, then hit my line.
  19. Better late then never, the saying goes. Thats good enogh for me. Not saying I dont sometimes get anoyed a little waiting for a couple weeks for reply sometimes (especialy if my partner gives me no warning), if I like the RP, but thats how it goes. Normaly I'm anything but a patient woman, but I learned that patience is a big virtue vhile RPing. Inspiration cant be rushed.

    But I do belive that if you cant reply in a timeli manner, you shuld inform your partner in-advance about posible delays, its the nice thing to do. I alvays do that if I anticipate delays (and for me a delay means not replying to my partner in a week's time).
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.