Because they put drugs in it.

Why didn't I answer Vay's question>?
Because it's like cocaine.

Speaking of which, where can I score some?
In My neighborhood! It's full of crack heads and such. (And now vay got 2 answers for the same question!)

Why am I up at this insanely early hour>?

Where is my classified location?
I'd have to kill you if I told you.

Why are all the chai receipts I try suck?
Life Is what you make it, or what it makes of you!!

Why is there no floor 13 on elevators>?
Because it's supposedly an "unlucky" number in some cultures/religions...? >>

Why am I craving both gumbo and peanut butter? e.e
Possibly because you're pregnant.

Your mother.. >> and I am not preggers.. D:

Why are toenails frightening?
Because they cut people... some how

Why am I asking this question?
(Yes, but isn't it funny that we as people living in a society that thrives on fact and science actually humor the idea of unlucky numbers>? Why not start killing off all the black cats while were at it!!)

It isn't the question you're asking, it is the asking that the question is.... *_*

What the hell does that mean>?
I have no clue man.

Why am I so angry at the smallest thing.
Because you have a lot of issues that need to be put to rest.

Why can't I think of a question?
Because you're drunk.

Why did Rodney James Dio have to die?
Because death is a part of life.

Why don't people follow instructions completely?
Cos I can't reed gud

Why do bad things happen to good people>?
Because life isn't a great cosmic game where everyone gets exactly what they deserve. Every action has a consequence, and others peoples actions are going to have a ripple effect. We are part of a whole, not just self contained universes.

Or the short answer. Shit Happens.

Why are you here?
Because it's 2308, I'm on Guard with nothing but a Gov't Laptop and an M16 and I have nothing else to do

Why is there no beer in my hand?

...I drank the last beer.