Why Torsty hates Britain and Japan

Blind Hemingway

Ancient Iwaku Scum from 2006.
Original poster
MYTHICAL MEMBER
Posting Speed
  1. Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
NEVER
Writing Levels
  1. Adept
  2. Douche
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Surrealism, Surreal Horror (Think Tim Burton), Steampunk, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Spaghetti Westerns, Mercenaries, Dieselpunk, Cyberpunk, Historical fantasies
So by now, we all know our little Viking friend hates Japan and Britain. However, none of us have ever tried to figure this out until now.

Here's the reasons why:

Number One Island nations. Vikings automatically hate islands and try conquering them.

Number Two: Off the Coast of Eurasia, flanking opposite sides of the continent. Again Vikings hate islands.

Number Three: Both nations are kind of stand-offish from their neighborhood international organizations: Great Britain is distant from the EU, while Japan is distant from ASEAN. Thus both need to be sacked just like Christian monasteries.

Number Four: Lapdogs of the Western foreign policies, I mean let's face it Japan's military is just American and the British really don't seem to do much these days but still has a pretty strong military...Both of which makes these islands hard to sack, therefore making him one unhappy Viking.
 
I love this!
 
When you say sack, you really mean rape. That's what vikings really do, to hell with all the loot.
 
well know they rape the women and take the stuff. leaving them with nothing but naked pregnant bitches.
 
Number Three: Both nations are kind of stand-offish from their neighborhood international organizations: Great Britain is distant from the EU, while Japan is distant from ASEAN. Thus both need to be sacked just like Christian monasteries.

This part doesn't add up as sooner or later Norway and Lichtenstein will be the only countries left outside the EU in Europe. Everything else is pretty much correct.
 
Aerial suppression, Viking style. Spray with beer gas until they're too drunk to shoot straight.

Invade.

Some might think this is a waste of beer, but what better way to combine beer and combat, top two on a Viking's To Do?
 
THEY MAKE EVIL TEA?!
 
*gasp* How can you even SAY that! Tea is the most wonderful and pure substance on this planet. The Way of Tea does not allow for "evil". It is tea!
 
What if the tea is evil by way of the person drinking said tea?
 
As Fel put it, Tort and his Viking bands can no longer easily rape. This is why he hates these nations. And the worst thing that can happen in Britain is like a drive by argument, so that also makes him mad because it's not enough good old fashioned butt kicking.
 
This thread NEEDS MOAR RAPE


rapeclock.jpg
 
I think she's the only person here that could kick Tort's Viking butt...
 
>=(

Stop with the VIKINGS RAPE LOLZ!1" stigma!
FFFFFFFFFFF, YOUR ANCESTORS PROBABLY RAPED AS MUCH AS MINE! GOTHS, ROMANS, GREEKS, SPARTANS, TURKS, EGYPTIANS, MONGOLS AND WHAT ELSE! U KNOW, OTHER EUROPEANS/ASIANS/AFRICANS?

OH RIGHT LOLZ!! U GUISES BE AMERICANS! GOD BLESS!NO WAIT! UR ANCESTURZ WUSN'T! LULZ!

Unless you're like redmangurlface Ampoule.