Who the HELL ______ my sandwich?!

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Jappy, Apr 21, 2013.

  1. Insert verb at your leisure. Or noun. Or paragraph. Whatever.
    But whatever you do...

    That person would be destroyed violently by sandwich lovers everywhere if they found out the identity of this sandwich violator, from fat husbands who demand their wives make sandwiches, to little league soccer teams who munch on them after a big game, would form an angry mob to tear this unfortunate soul limb from limb.
  2. Day 1:
    Who the HELL deleted all my porn! If it were mom, I'd be dead. If it were dad, I'd be grounded. If it were my friend, he's a dick. I'm going to complain to the highest authority in the country, the media! They must know and elaborate and exaggerate the subject! SPREAD the word that my porn has been deleted WITHOUT my consent! And when I find out who did it, they will be force fed their reproductive organs! The very thought someone would commit such a crime!
    Day 2:
    I still haven't found out who deleted the porn, but the clues have been piling up! It may be much, but there are 2,764 suspects! I will begin to investigate and question each of them personally. Chains, whips, and a peppermints are SURE to leave them with only the truth; And the truth will pour out of their pathetic mouths!
    Day 3:
    The evidence is massive!
    Day 4:
    I've narrowed the results down to 12 worthless worms of people, who are all containing their screams and cries of paiiinnn. But never fear, the criminal WILL be revealed, and punished! But for now, I will eat. Pudding sounds good.
    Day 5:
    The criminal was discovered! Who would've thought such an innocent seeming person would do that? Well they are facing drastic consequences as I type. Their feet and hands are tied to all four posts, oh but the fun hasn't started just yet! They thought the tickling was horrible, just wait until they see this MASSIVE, VIBRATING DILDO. The handcrafted glass and iron studs will positively bring wonderful results. After that, I will bring in the candle. It has such a relaxing smell, so I'll light that bitch up with some matches, and maybe burn this violator in the process. They better be used to getting a homemade bikini wax!
    In the meantime, I need to decide: What I would like on
    my sandwich?
  3. I might suggest that half force fed reproductive organ you got lying around somewhere.
  4. Who the HELL defaced my scalemate like that!? JUSTICE MUST BE SERVED. And served with a wonderfully refreshing dose of irony. When I find the culprit, I shall apprehendicate him and bring him to my courtroom to face a horrid legislaceratorial punishment. And when the evidence has been given, and the verdict served, I shall walk up to the prisoner, tell him/her that he/she is freed, and give them some poisoned food as a "gift of goodwill". But alas! What food to use!? AH! I've decided. Nothing is more refreshingly ironic than a well served picnic lunch. But aside from arsenic, what should I put on my sandwich?!

    Revenge is a dish best served on rye.
  5. [h=2]Who the HELL Cummed in my sandwich?![/h]
    Im so Frikkin Clever... its like... one of a kind