When Is Enough Enough

[Sir Salty]

This is about to get to a very dark subject matter. I'll tell you this right now, if dark, twisted conversations make you squirm and you'll get triggered by just the mention of it. Than leave.

To be fair my views about Suicide are similar to this videos

I think someone's life is up to them and that we shouldn't tell people whose lives are not beneficial that its a selfish thing to do. Sometimes suicide is not a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I believe assisted suicide should be allowed for those with terminal illnesses. But I also think those, like myself, in low poverty, with very little to no assistance.

I have a bunch of mental health issues that makes working and keeping a job a struggle. And I have been couch surfing for over two years, homeless, with the system not helping. But only closing doors in my faces. While we have people spouting, "people on welfare are all lazy and they don't deserve assistance" and you get more and more restrict laws on welfare.

So, when is enough enough?

When can someone determine that I have lived long enough, to know whether or not I should or should not commit suicide?

The current friend whose like family to me, her boyfriend wants me out of the house. So once again that's another stress on me. Because then I have to think about where I am going move onto next. Another address. Another place to live.

I have a "job". Not traditional work, but its the only thing I have been able to keep for more than over 6 months. But its not enough money to sustain oneself on. And even I have to pull the teeth of the foodstamp office.

I'm just done.

I'm done living in this repeated cycle of filth. What am I suppose to do? When I have gone through the whole bucket list of things to do

-Last year, I was couch surfing at a coworkers place

-Went through interview, after interview, after interview, application after, application, to finally get a job in November, but then my coworkers kicked me out of the house relatively near the same time

-So I moved into a new place, had to deal with rent, and a shittier roommate

-Had a new job, experienced a lot of workplace bullying, became the subject of comments that were derogatory

-Only had the new job for about a month

-Moved back in with my mother, for a temporary amount of time in hopes to do something different, tried to get SSI, it took up the three months that I was given to live with her

-She just kicked me out one day, told me I had to be out by X certain day because she was getting a client and needed my room. The irony of the story is my mother is a host home provider, and she host her home for strangers with special needs and mental disorders, but for some reason she couldn't keep her mentally ill son in her house

-My current roommate/friend has let me stay till May, its now November, and her boyfriend now wants me gone. He wants his house back

-While SSI denied me for a second time, so I have to reappeal again

-While I also see if I can find another job, but I can't hold them down. And jobs don't understand how to deal, accommodate, and compromise for those who have mental illnesses and disorders

So the cycle continues over and over and over again.

I feel like I'm losing my mind.

-I can't get my own place no money
-I can't get SSI because the welfare system doesn't really support, white, 20 something males
-I can't get into any programs because most of them reflect on youth [that's usually teenager] or children
-I struggle with jobs and either never get a call back after an interview or after an application and am always ran into circles

So, when is enough enough?

When am I allowed to say I should no longer suffer mentally?​

 

[Legens Legentis]

I think someone's life is up to them and that we shouldn't tell people whose lives are not beneficial that its a selfish thing to do.

I vehemently disagree with the idea that a human life could be considered 'not beneficial'. There is no standard for determining the value of a person, and for that I say everybody has a chance in life to better their condition. Although I cannot make decisions for other people, it strikes me as bizarre to hear that some would forego that chance, no matter how slim.

Everybody has their low points where it feels like everything is going wrong. Despair won't fix it. Frankly speaking, neither will death. Death takes away that glimmer of ambition that built men like Andrew Carnegie or John D. Rockefeller (pardon my overused, cliché rhetoric, but that's how I feel).

This might be an odd question, but do you know of any churches which assist in this kind of situation?

 

[Sir Salty]

I vehemently disagree with the idea that a human life could be considered 'not beneficial'. There is no standard for determining the value of a person, and for that I say everybody has a chance in life to better their condition. Although I cannot make decisions for other people, it strikes me as bizarre to hear that some would forego that chance, no matter how slim.

Everybody has their low points where it feels like everything is going wrong. Despair won't fix it. Frankly speaking, neither will death. Death takes away that glimmer of ambition that built men like Andrew Carnegie or John D. Rockefeller (pardon my overused, cliché rhetoric, but that's how I feel).

This might be an odd question, but do you know of any churches which assist in this kind of situation?

Church assistance is very limited and doesn't give me, "temporary home I can stay in for an unknown amount of time till I get SSI"

 

[Legens Legentis]

Church assistance is very limited and doesn't give me, "temporary home I can stay in for an unknown amount of time till I get SSI"

Well in any case I do sympathize with your struggles. That being said, I'm also rooting for you to succeed and rise above them. I'm sure there are plenty of others who are more equipped to give their advice than I am. However, I am still obligated to answer your central question. Maybe there will come a day when you have a place of your own, a stable job, and food on your plate, and whenever that day comes all that toiling will have been worth something (again I apologize if I sound insensitive).

 

[Sir Salty]

Well in any case I do sympathize with your struggles. That being said, I'm also rooting for you to succeed and rise above them. I'm sure there are plenty of others who are more equipped to give their advice than I am. However, I am still obligated to answer your central question. Maybe there will come a day when you have a place of your own, a stable job, and food on your plate, and whenever that day comes all that toiling will have been worth something (again I apologize if I sound insensitive).

Your fine. I am just tired of this.