When I'm Gone

Kat smiled weakly and nodded. She wanted to live instead of being weak for the rest of her days. Instead of doing the chemo and wasting away in a hospital bed, she wanted to live, to breathe, to be alive. She looked up into David's eyes and saw a hint of an emotion she'd never seen from him before. This was not worry, this was not fright, it was... something else. She smiled a bit braver for him and rested her head on his chest, her fingers lacing at the back of his neck as she felt a dizzy spell hit her.
 
He wrapped his arms around her, mainly for support as she embraced him. Slowly he moved a hand to the back of her head, gently running it along her scalp, careful of her hair. "If this is what you want I'll be by your side the entire way." David spoke looking down to her.
 
Kat looked up to him once more, her eyes shining as she smiled a bit. He supported her, always. She nodded, leaning up on her tip-toes to hug him. He was so kind... so nice... so special to her... She pulled away, her lips brushing over the skin of his cheek, lingering at the corner of his mouth. Just as she was about to kiss him, as she was about to do just what she'd wanted to since she met him and really got to know him, the phone rang. She froze for a moment, then pulled away, a bit of disappointment flashing in her eyes before she picked it up.

"Hello? Yes, we'll be ready in about half an hour. There will be two, not one. Yes sir, thank you."
 
To David she was his Galadriel, his white lady that he was afraid to love for the feelin that he couldn't live up to her. Yet as she embraced him so he couldn't help but smile, holding her near. As she drew closer his heart began to beat faster only to have her pull away, leaving him with a small sigh. He went about packing, clothes, chargers, his computer just in case. "Where are we going?"
 
Kat thought for a moment. Should she show him? She bit her lip and went to her closet, opening it and pulling out an already-packed pair of suitcases. She had to use all of her measly strength to get them up on the bed, refusing to let him help. Damn this chemo, and damn how weak it'd made her. She unzipped a front pocket of one suitcase and pulled out a piece of paper. Unfolding it, she read only the first entry.

"One: Before I die, I will go skydiving."

She looked up at him and smiled.

"So, therefor, we will go skydiving. In Bermuda. Because after that I want to learn how to parasail and waterski. Sound okay to you?"
 
He blinked, he had never known that she had made a list. It nearly broke his heart to know she had done such. He gulped slightly, just to stifle his sorrow for her before he nodded. "Bermuda it is." He replied with a nod, tossing a pair of swimming trunks in his bag as well.
 
Kat smiled brightly, nodding and going back to work. She had to clean up a bit to leave the house like new before they left. She made her way downstairs, gripping the banister as she went for support and she hummed as she began sweeping the kitchen. About half an hour later, a car honked outside and she called out.

"David! The car is here!"

She made her way back up the stairs to get her bags then she dragged them down to the car, her breath hard and ragged, but she hid it well. She hated being weak.
 
David had been doing the same, cleaning up what he could and managing his finances, making sure he'd still have his apartment when they returned. He grabbed his own bags, rushing down the stairs only to frown as she started tugging her own out. He quickly followed her, taking her bags so she didn't try and get them into the car as well. Soon enough they were loaded in and he offered her a smile, motioning for her to get in before him.
 
She blushed as David took her bags from her, feelings of both relief and a bit of embarrassment washing over her as she followed him to the car. She watched him load the bags as she stood there, arms wrapped about herself with a gentle smile on her face. Would she be able to do this? Would she be strong enough to do all of these things with no chemo supporting her? How long would it take her to die? She thought of these things until she snapped back to reality, watching David open the door for her. She giggled and curtsied before slipping in and asking the driver to take them to the airport.
 
David would follow her into the car, making sure she had her seatbelt before he leaned back in his seat. A bit of concern was upon his features, wondering how exactly she would pay for all this, what they would do if she took a drastic turn for the worse while they were out. He glanced to her, patting her shoulder slightly, trying to be reassuring.
 
She smiled to David, giggling in excitement. She had no idea what her future held for certain, but that was the exciting part! She squeaked as he patted her shoulder then she leaned her head on his shoulder, nuzzling closer to him as she usually did. He was such a wonderful friend, and she knew she would be safe with him. When they got to the airport, she was the first out of the cab, going to the trunk to pull out her things. The flight she'd booked their seats on would leave in half an hour, so they had little time to spare.
 
David quickly got them a push cart for their bags, returning he put hers and his upon it before he offered her a smile. "You know where we are going, so lead on." He spoke nodding to her, trying his best to be the chivalrous friend she always had by her side. After all that was about all he could offer, he had no ability to pay for college, had a near dead end job that he basically quit for her. So himself and his personality was all he could offer.
 
Kat looked to David for a moment and just stood there, thinking for a moment. Now or later? Later, she supposed. It would be best. She smiled brightly and led the way to the terminal that they would depart from, handing the stewardess their tickets and letting another man take their bags to load them on.
 
David offered her help getting onboard, checking their tickets before letting her take the window seat. He offered a slight smile sitting down next to her. Gently he reached over to pat her arm, being a bit consoling. It may have been a bit more for himself, after all he was never a fan of flying.
 
She knew he was putting on an act, she knew he hated airplanes and she knew he hated flying in general. He always shuddered when he even heard an airplane overhead or saw one on TV. She kep on a smile although worry was nibbling at her and she took his hand, her small cool fingers lacing through his thicker, warm ones. He was beautiful, this big strong yet sensitive man, and she wanted him to feel as calm and free as she did. She'd already called the doctors, telling them she was quitting chemotherapy. Of course they strongly advised against it, giving her every and any reason to continue, but in the end she knew she had to live while she could. Once the plane had taken off and had been in the air for about an hour, she leaned over, her head-- now wrapped in a silken scarf that perfectly matched her blouse-- against his upper arm, her eyes drifting shut as she felt closer to him than ever. He'd given so much for her, and now it was time to give all of that back to him and hopefully more.
 
David smiled, albeit it was a bit forced, down at her as her fingers laced with his. He kept his eyes away from the windows, taking up a "skymall" with his free hand as she leaned onto him. It was just a way to keep his mind off the gentle turbulance that occasionally hit them. He was being strong as he could for the gentle girl next to him. He almost wanted to cry with her head wrapped as it was, she was beautiful even as she lost her hair.
 
After a few moments, the rocking of the plane on air and the murmur of people as they whispered to each other mixed with the shaking yet stable breathing of David had Kat drifting to sleep. She nuzzled closer to her friend, letting out a gentle sigh as her entire body relaxed and she let herself fall asleep. She would not wake until the plane touched down.
 
He did his best to stay calm, eventually ordering himself a bit of alcohol, the few drinks were enough to calm him as well, allowing him to fall asleep as well. His head resting ontop of hers as the plane began it's descent. A bit of a groggy groan escaped him as he opened his eyes, gently nudging her awake as well. "We're landing."
 
Kat stirred awake and she groaned a bit gently, stretching as she felt the weight of his head on hers. He smelled like cinnamon and herbs and it calmed her. She yawned and sat up, looking over to him. His kind eyes, the way he looked at her... She wanted to kiss him. He made her heart skip. She found herself blushing whenever she was around him... Yet... she couldn't give him what he wanted. He wanted sex and a woman to last forever and she was a dying virgin.
 
Yes, he wished for intimacy, yes he wished for love to last longer than he, he still cared for her though. He saw her as something unattainable, his goddess upon a pedestal. He would love her if he thought he was worthy of her, yet he felt he wasn't. He may be strong in body but she was so much more in spirit than he. She had fought cancer off once before, he would have simply ended it all for himself if it had happened to him. She was gorgeous and he was simply average, "did you have a good-" He was cut off by stiffening as the plane shook when it touched down, a look of fear upon his features, almost comical for the large male. "Sleep?"
 
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