When I'm Gone

L

luvablelilmonster

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Original poster
Kate sat in the doctor's office, flipping through an old magazing, humming softly. This was the fourth time she'd been in so far this month, but she knew she was getting better, so she wasn't really worried. She'd had leukemia since she was 15, the last four years consisting of chemo and doctor's visits, huge bills and worried parents, but she knew everything was turning for the better because her hair had grown back and she was healthy again. She smiled, her head bobbing a bit as she listened to the soft music over the intercom. The doctor entered the small office with a clipboard, his face a gentle seriousness. She looked up to him and the smile faded from her lips, her eyes widening as he explained that the cancer had come back stronger than before and she would have to be put back on the chemotherapy. Fear and dissapointment gripped at her heart, but she held the tears back, willing herself to be strong. The doctor told her she would have to begin coming back to therapy the day after next, and he let her leave. She made her way to her little Dodge Dakota and slid into the driver's seat, her face a stony blank stare. The car started and, as if she were on auto-pilot, she drove to his house. She knew she could only trust him with this travesty, she knew he would hold her. She knew he would never let her be alone through this. He was her best friend.
 
David had spent his day off alone as per usual, his small apartment was a bit cluttered, clothes left on the floor and a few books still lying about. The calm man usually had a lot on his mind, pondering and pontificating to himself when she wasn't around. He sighed, gathering up the mess, assuming she'd come to give him the good news after her appointment was over. He even had a pizza ordered, sitting on the table next to him. Tossing his clothes in a basket he slumped back into the tattered couch, leaning into the slowly fraying fabric and getting comfortable. He had no idea of what she'd tell him, assuming it was good news since she had just said that she had been feeling better. It was a good sign after all these years of strugging he had watched her go through. Hearing the unmistakable sound of her dakota he stood, tugging down his black t-shirt over the hem of his worn denim jeans and went to the door, opening it to look out at the truck.
 
She pulled up in front of David's house, stopping the Dakota and switching it off before slowly putting her hands back on the steering wheel. Ten and two. It took her a moment to react, the tears stinging her eyes as she passed out from the shock, slumping over into the passenger side seat. The blackness enveloped her, her vision fading. If this is death, let it be quick. The last thing she saw was him standing in the doorway before everything turned off like a light.
 
David's face turned pale as he saw her slump over. He didn't even turn the knob on the screen door, forcing it open as he ran for the truck. Adrenaline was pumping through him, fear in his eyes as he nearly yanked the door off the hinge opening it. "Kate?!" He called looking down to her, reaching in to nudge her. She was breathing, thank god. Quickly he got her out, being as gentle as he could, carrying her back into his apartment and laying her upon his full sized matress. Frantically he searched, finding balsamic vinegar he poured some on a paper towel and placed it under her nose, trying to use it as a smelling salt to rouse her awake.
 
Kat woke slowly, her eyes squinting as they opened to look up at Dave, then they grew wide and the tears filled them once more. She replayed the doctor's words over and over in her mind, unable to speak, unable to move, unable to do anything. She reached up finally, grabbing Dave around the neck and pulling him into the bed, curling up into him and finally letting the sobs out, tears flowing as she shook with crying.
 
David felt a bit of relief wash over him as she finally opened her eyes. The look within those hues worried him though, he felt his stomach knot about to question what happened before he gasped, falling into bed with her after she pulled him down. As she curled up and cried he instinctively pulled her close, hugging her head to his chest. "What happened Kat...." He questioned softly, looking down at her.
 
Through the tears, through the pain and sobs, she explained. She told him that the doctor had told her that she wouldn't live much longer, that she should take into account those who she loved and say goodbye, that she had months, few at that. She clung to him as if she would die if she just let go. He gave her strength, as he always did.

"I'm so scared, Dave!!"
 
David's face turned pale, eyes widening as he looked to her. He held her nearer as she explained, biting his lip to stay quiet. He had to be strong for her now. "It's okay, it's okay..." He spoke softly, his voice a bare whisper. "It'll all be okay." It was apparent that he was worried too, his voice wavering while he kept her near. "We'll figure something out, he may be wrong."
 
She whimpered, burrowing her face into his chest. He was always there when she needed him, even when her parents weren't. He was so good and kind to her and he treated her as a princess. She stopped crying eventually, sniffling and looking up at him with sad, wet eyes.

"I start chemo again on Wednesday... Three times a week... I don't want to die, David... I'm so scared, so lost..."
 
He nodded to her, looking down as she stopped crying. "Alright, you see there is still hope. They wouldn't put you on chemo if there wasn't any." He replied, biting down his own concern to stay strong. He wanted to be there for her, after all he had no one else who really seemed to care for him, very few friends and the like, his parents had already kicked him out.
 
She smiled a bit weakly and nodded, understanding what he was saying. After a moment she hugged David, leaning up and kissing his cheek softly before rolling out of the bed. She still felt hollow and devistated, but she had to hide it. She couldn't just sit around and mope for the rest of her life, could she?

(Time skip a couple weeks?)
 
((Sure.))
David had been by her side for the past few weeks. He called off work when she needed her, offering to drive her to her therapy, even letting her stay at his apartment when she needed to. He slept on the couch, allowing her to have his bed. By now he was sprawled out on his couch, napping with his face buried in the pillows, his shirt left on the coffee table.
 
She had woken early that morning and gotten up, going about her day as usual. She'd taken a shower last night, so now she was just wandering around in her tank top and short shorts. She wandered silently into the kitchen and got a drink then watched David sleep for a moment. He looked so wiped, so tired of taking care of her. The chemo had made her weaker, so she had been unable to do more and more, but today she felt alright. She smiled, moving to David and covering him up before stroking his hair and wandering bak to the room. When she entered his bedroom and closed the door behind it, her eyes sliding to the pillow on the bed, a cold spiking dread rang through her. Her body went numb and she dropped her glass of water, letting it hit the carpeted floor with a dull thud, drowning a patch of blue rug. There, on the pillow, was hair. A lot of it. With shaking fingers, she moved her hands to her head and let out a pained wail as she touched patches of scalp, her legs giving out beneath her and she sank to the floor, her hands pulling away even more hair, fist fulls of it.
 
The dull thud had roused him slightly, just enough to open his eyes and catch her wail. He threw the covers off himself, nearly tripping over furniture as he raced to the room. Yanking the door open he fell to her side pulling her into his chest, knowing what was wrong as soon as he saw her. He grabbed at her wrists and pulled them away from her scalp, offers small hushes as he held her near, trying to calm her down. "It's okay, you knew this would come... we knew it would come, it means the chemo is working." He spoke pulling her back to his chest tight.
 
Kat lay there, limp in this man's arms and she just stared at the floor. She wasn't crying, she felt nothing, really, it was just... there. She reached out, gingerly lifting a chunk of her own hair from the floor and letting it slip back through her pale fingers before looking up to David, her eyes blank as she nodded. Yes, it meant the chemo was working. She wouldn't die... Not as soon, anyways. She slid her arms up around his neck and hugged him, her face resting in the crook of his neck and she closed her eyes. For a few moments, she didn't move, then she spoke.

"What are your plans for today?"
 
He sighed, glad that she had calmed down, at least she wasn't ripping out what hair she had left. Slowly he released her hands and let her hug him, his hands simply moving to hold her to him while her head rested against his neck. "I wasn't planning anything really..." He replied while he looked down to her, seeming cautiously curious as to why she asked. "We can do whatever you'd wish to."
 
Kat smiled widely and rolled out of bed, taking a moment to steady herself before grabbing her suitcase and putting it on the bed. She knew she was moving slow, she knew she needed to rest but she had to pack her things. She had to get out and go. Being in this house for even one more moment would drive her insane.
 
Dave looked to her, confusion apparent upon his features as she began to pack. "What are you doing?" He questioned worriedly as she got up, ready to stop her if he thought she was going to do herself any harm or rush into a poor decision.
 
Kat stopped, taking David by the shoulders and looking up into his eyes. He was so much taller than she, and probably stronger too, but she was never scared of him. He was her gentle giant and every time she was near him, she felt so safe and warm and happy. She smiled warmly up at him, her hands sliding from his shoulders up his neck then cupped his face lovingly.

"Trust me. You and I are going to travel. I don't want to die stuffed up in a house. Let's go skiing and skydiving and racing and scuba diving and everything!! Please, David... Grant a girl one last dying wish..."
 
David looked down in a bit of surprise while she wrapped her arms around his relatively thick neck. Staring down into her eyes, paying no attention to the dark rings or the fact that she was losing hair. He cared about her not her looks. None the less as she spoke he looked worried. "Are you sure you want to do that? Stop the chemo and give up?" He questioned, knowing even he would wan to go out well but at the same time this was her, she had so much to live for. If she stopped the chemo she'd die sooner. Before an change could be made.
 
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