What would you change about yourself?

XIII

I reject your reality and substitute my own
Original poster
FOLKLORE MEMBER
Invitation Status
  1. Looking for partners
Posting Speed
  1. Multiple posts per day
  2. 1-3 posts per day
  3. One post per day
  4. 1-3 posts per week
  5. One post per week
Online Availability
Daytime. Night time. Any time.
Writing Levels
  1. Intermediate
  2. Adept
  3. Advanced
  4. Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Female
  2. Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Romance, Fantasy. Always some kind of non-human involved. (Such a vampires, succubi, incubi, etc.)
Good day, Iwaku.

Day 2 of my own little journey, thanks for coming along with me.

Today's question is meant to really make you think. The topic is about you; What would you change about yourself if you could?

For some, this could be a bit uncomfortable. Perhaps the answer is about how you look, or perhaps how you speak. I know that I hate how I look now; having kids was really hard on my body. But would I change it?

Probably. I'm not going to sugar coat it. I never do.

But if I really could change something about myself, magically, I would change how I learn. I've always wanted to learn multiple languages and travel to distant lands. But I have such a hard time learning things, especially languages. So if I could change anything, it would be that. The vain side of me won't win this round.
 
What would I change? My dislike of vegetables. Because I cannot stomach peppers or much onion. I can taste lettuce in even small amounts and it bothers me.
 
I have hyper-sensitive empathy, which makes it hard for me to separate myself from other people's feelings sometimes. >:[ Which really SUCKS cause it smashed all my cool natural ability to see things others don't, with childhood trauma extreme-awareness of changes in people's moods, with autistic feeling of every emotion mentally and physically x10.

And my dumbass had to go and make my special interest favorite thing running a community. 😂 My highs are overly ambitious, and my lows are devastating. I have to actively find healthy ways to step back and make sure I am not soaking up emotions that are not mine to carry.

So I would HELLA change that in a heartbeat >_> That'd take out like 80% of my social anxiety!
 
Does everything count? 😂

Everyone always says that disabilities/mental illnesses aren't there to be cured. But honestly, I would love to experience being free for a day without having to take pills.

For a less depressing 😂 change, I would love if I was as good at video games as I should be for how much I play them. I also would love to be better at learning too, I want to be a vet but I have minor memory loss so biology is painful. Also, languages are painful.
 
I wish I could get over how shy and awkward I get way too easily. I am often afraid to approach someone, talk, make friends.
It's not so hard online because you can take the time to think about your response, your words, type it out... delete and go back and retype if you don't like the wording.

But damn, up close, in front of a person, it's so hard sometimes. Even just talking on the phone or a voice chat XD
I mute myself in discord calls like "Nope! Can't do it! They'll hear me be all quiet and awkward!"
 
I wish I had the courage to speak up for myself in the moment and not when it's far too late, both online and offline. I literally am shaking and nervous when I go to ask someone something or stutter. About upchucked when I asked about Security 😭 I'm too friendly for my own good, I guess.

I also want to be a part of some discussions but overthink entirely too much that I'll say something wrong or stupid, so I just read or listen along and don't input my opinion.
 
I've been or had been making an active attempt to change things that I was not fond of myself. I am actually a very anti social person because I tend to over think and assume everyone hates me. I don't make friends easily because I am afraid of what they see, they naturally will hate. So in turn, i say very little.

Recently I was trying to branch out from my little closed off nutshell and had been doing well but things recently have retracted and the desire to hide away so people can't see me has returned. Funnily enough, I am very empathetic, to a point I will go absolutely out of my way to assure those around me do not have to struggle or feel upset if I can help it. Speaking highly of them while trying hard to assure they don't ever feel like they are invalidated! As personally i know how it feels to be quite the opposite.

So it's a learning curve trying to figure that crapola out and making it functional rather than detrimental; since I wanna make friends and make people feel they matter because they do!
 
If I could change just 1 thing, I would change my body from female to male. Being trans is hard. :[ (That said, I hope someday in the future I can get top surgery. If I can get that for myself, I'll feel so much better...<3)