What really grinds your gears?

[Gwazi Magnum]

(I was going to quote each post and reply individually, but they all seemed to fit together well enough that one general response seemed to work better, since I'd be repeating a lot of points otherwise).

For the sake of clarity, let's replace "Racial Jokes" with "Offensive Jokes" or "Dark Humor" cause the same principle honestly applies to any kind of such humor may it be about race, disorders, weight, gender, orientation, religion etc.

I will admit it can be an issue when a Joke = Expectations. I mean you can joke about real things, but jokes are not always honest but are often exaggerated or made up. If someone is confusing the dark humor being made with reality that's honestly an issue with the individual in question and their perspective/outlook on reality, not the joke itself or the stereotypes involved. Plus said person should be getting a better understanding of the people/community the joke is about if they are actually walking away expecting it out of said group.

For example, I'm part of a community where jokes such as a picture of bloodied knives with the captions "We can cure Autism" is common, but no one goes around actually thinking that's how autism should be addressed, or have I been offended (or had anyone harass me) due to being autistic myself. Or jokes such as "Why are women complaining about being oppressed? They're out of the kitchen!" are common, but no one actually treats men or women differently there and it's very often the women making and taking part in such jokes. Though granted, those are specific communities where it is an appropriate location for such jokes to be made. Where it might not be appropriate at work, you have a job to do and need to look professional. Or say as a Kids helpline where part of what may have hurt the kid were people who legitimately harmed them over being a woman, or autistic or anything else.

Everyone does have an emotional breaking point granted, but most people don't have the breaking point be over jokes/humor. But about more serious concerns such as "Can't pay the bills", "Parents don't want anything to with me", "Someone is hurting my partner and/or kids" etc. Not being hurt/offended by jokes isn't a lack of an emotional breaking point, it simply means you don't let your breaking point be tied to jokes.

As for the freedom of speech? Granted it probably wasn't the intention when passed as a law, and it's muddied. But that criticism can be made any time that someone mentions freedom of speech. Though your point was made, I'll refrain from that argument in the future when arguing stuff as to why I don't think dark humor should be censored, or people should have a right to ban certain kinds of humor.

In the end? I think people are fully in their rights to call out or criticize dark humor, or call a joke stupid, ignorant etc. I'd be a hypocrite if I was saying "Jokes can be made about anything, but Criticisms/Complaints should be limited". My concern/issue is not with people who dislike or criticize such humor but with those who actively seek to censor/stop said humor because they disagree with it. And if I caught someone censoring criticisms I'd be arguing against that as well.

Lol you were lucky. I started out volunteering with the school staff during gym middle school since kids with mental and physical disabilities. They were good kids but it was sad that I was made fun of for actually hanging out around them. We shared the Gym with them and try having 4 class worth of students on one half of a basketball course. All because they didn't want to anywhere near the other kids :( But I enjoyed the three years of helping them out. But as for the kids I've unhappily dealt with it may be because of where I live. It's not that great of a place to live, schools are terrible, unemployment is still pretty high and so is homelessness. So environment may be a factor.

From my school experience I found that the children were mostly separated because of staff concerns, not because of students. Outside of a few assholes students tended to be very accepting/caring to those in a special needs class.
Hell it normally bought them a ton of sympathy points. I mean my school wasn't perfect, it was still full of bullies and those looking to dehumanize one another for popularity points, but it was never used against those in a special needs class, but rather for those who were in the normal classes and just seemed 'odd', 'weird' or 'a nerd'.

I myself do tend to live in a very safe, peaceful and relaxed area though. We have the population size to legally count as a city, but we are seen as a town simply because of the environment, how people live etc. Which might play a big role in the sympathy to special needs where I live, and why I've seen a lack of things such as violent children whose parents are quick to defend them.

Granted though, the sympathy I mentioned is strictly if you're put in a special needs class over it. If it's known you have special needs, but you're still in a normal class then people will still make fun of you for it.

 

[ASTA]

@Bravo

So basically:

1) All racial slurs should be used freely so long as you perform proper reconnaissance of your immediate audience beforehand to avoid confrontational mishaps from occurring when you drop your taboo speech. I'm going to assume that this is done out of respect for people.

2) To you, there's no distinction between the word 'nigga' and 'nigger'; in your eyes, both are the same, and if the racial group that's transformed the original word into a term of endearment can use it amongst themselves, then it gives you full access to utilize it regardless of the extensive history associated with its use. I guess if the people you're using your language around accepts this, then I guess that's their choice.

3) Because political correctness [supposedly] makes light of racist terms such as 'whitey' and 'cracker', vengeance must be extracted upon PC itself by promoting the callous (but calculated) use of derogatory terms directed at minority groups that dwell within the US.

If my interpretation is wrong, correct it.

​

I've decried political correctness before.

 

[Brovo]

1) All racial slurs should be used freely so long as you perform proper reconnaissance of your immediate audience beforehand to avoid confrontational mishaps from occurring when you drop your taboo speech. I'm going to assume that this is done out of respect for people.

Pretty much. For instance, you wouldn't walk up to a woman who just has a miscarriage and go "SO THOSE DEAD BABY JOKES HUH?! HAHA!" Respect the audience and they will do the same for you, just be aware of the venue, scope out the place you're in to see if it would be appropriate.

As I said in the political correctness thread, a word is just a word. Some words are ugly words, but they're still just words. The more we can laugh about the ludicrous nature of some words, the faster we'll grow past them. Whereas the more we censor words, the harder it'll be to get past them.

2) To you, there's no distinction between the word 'nigga' and 'nigger'; in your eyes, both are the same, and if the racial group that's transformed the original word into a term of endearment can use it amongst themselves, then it gives you full access to utilize it regardless of the extensive history associated with its use. I guess if the people you're using your language around accepts this, then I guess that's their choice.

There really isn't any distinction though. It's an exception granted via race card, and nothing else. If I tried to do that comradely "hey mah niggaaaa~" I'd get shanked before long, for no more reason than being white. There are better ways to deal with this problem than race cards. Segregation will only make people feel more isolated from each other, not less.

Course, if one really wants to address problems in black communities, one need only start with widespread systemic poverty making them breeding grounds for gangs and hardcore drug trafficking, which is more of a societal problem. However, it's far easier to simply ban the word nigger for white people than to actually address any of those problems. Essentially, the word nigger is ultimately just a distraction for all the real problems the people it describes are suffering right now.

3) Because political correctness [supposedly] makes light of racist terms such as 'whitey' and 'cracker', vengeance must be extracted upon PC itself by promoting the callous (but calculated) use of derogatory terms directed at minority groups that dwell within the US.

No, it's because political correctness attempts to solve actual problems by targeting bad words rather than the problems. What does PC recommend about black neighbourhoods? Nothing. What does PC recommend about the word nigger though? Ban it, ban it now! Because, you know, banning the word nigger will somehow make it so that black people don't live in systemic poverty and will magically resolve hundreds of years of slavery.

PC had good intentions, but like any ill thought out idea those good intentions mean nothing because the method by which it attempts to fix problems is childish at best, downright atrocious at worst. You want to know why PC attempts to kill off bad words rather than problems? Because it's a lot easier to just ban a word and forget about the problems it represents than to actually try and fix the problem.

The reason I loathe PC is mainly because it pushes forward censorship that ultimately is pointless. Racists aren't going to stop being racist just because they can't call black people niggers anymore, they'll just invent a new word to spit at them, or mutate a preexisting word into such a term. "Fag" in Britain means cigarette, "gay" used to mean joyously happy but it's been relegated to be a slang for homosexuals. Banning a word does dick fuck all to solve discrimination. All it does is punish people for using a word, regardless of their purpose.

Because, really, I'm fairly sure the majority of black people care a hell of a lot more about having food on the table, money in the bank, a not shitty job, and ensuring their kids don't get recruited into gangs... A lot more than the word nigger. I mean, that word is still offensive as fuck, you shouldn't use it everywhere for reason 1 (know the audience), but that's about it really. Treating adults like children in telling them what words they can or cannot use whilst ignoring systemic poverty for an entire minority is fucking insane troll logic. That's why I have a problem with it. It solves nothing and enforces pointless censorship of bad words that can still be used for humour or productively out of the false assumption that a discriminatory asshole is going to be any less of a discriminatory asshole just because he's not technically allowed to use certain bad words.

 

[iMisterH]

Ugh, constant negativity and nagging pisses me off so much! I have to deal with whining and moaning on a daily basis. It's so annoying. Like, cheer up, no one wants to hear you complain all the time. It just puts me in a bad mood as well.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

And once again, Brovo is able to word (basically) the same point/argument far better than I can. :P

 

[Hellis]

And once again, Brovo is able to word (basically) the same point/argument far better than I can. :P

Seeing how he actually picked apart what you were saying before and telling you why your argument was stupid. It's a bit more then that :P.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

Seeing how he actually picked apart what you were saying before and telling you why your argument was stupid. It's a bit more then that :P.

There's no post by Brovo here in direct response to me, or quoting anything I've said.
So if he had posted something that was "Picking my point apart and saying why it was stupid", I didn't catch the intent or meaning.

I'm not the best at wording things always, sometimes that means people think I'm saying one thing when I'm not.
Which has lead to situations where the disagreement/issue has turned out to be more semantics than an actual opinion, belief, outlook change etc.

 

[Brovo]

Seeing how he actually picked apart what you were saying before and telling you why your argument was stupid. It's a bit more then that :P.

There's no post by Brovo here in direct response to me, or quoting anything I've said.
So if he had posted something that was "Picking my point apart and saying why it was stupid", I didn't catch the intent or meaning.

Can we please not argue about whether or not I'm proving or disproving one person or another? While I'm flattered that the mere notion of my arguing against someone is apparently enough to discredit them in some way, the message is still "social skills" and "be reasonable human beings".

So if you really want my message to stick, listen to it and how about... Not provoking each other?

That'd be great, thanks.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I'm not even sure how our points were meant to conflict... :/
But yea, it's a silly thing to be arguing/provoking you're right.

*Goes sits in corner*

 

[ASTA]

As I said in the political correctness thread, a word is just a word. Some words are ugly words, but they're still just words. The more we can laugh about the ludicrous nature of some words, the faster we'll grow past them. Whereas the more we censor words, the harder it'll be to get past them.

I tried laughing at them a long time ago, but the things that I've been exposed to have had a deep and negative impact on my perception of the darker humor folks like Magnum and yourself engage in. I'm probably going to get the "Well, you can CHOOSE to be offended!" spiel or the dismissive "But X happened years ago! You should get over it!" speech in response to the previous statement that I made, but I generally find that these sorts of responses are often perpetuated by individuals who are wholly incapable of *comprehending (and therefore fully gauging) the gravity of the things that they're commenting on due to a lack of personal experience.

You're somewhat of an anomaly though, because you don't automatically jump into the growing White Denial engine seen in the US, you seem aware of America's more 'unseen' socioeconomic practices and you give off the faint aura of a person that gets their sources outside of the mainstream US media. I'm not saying that these problems are found within the United States only; I'm well-aware that they're global, but I can only really focus on the battlefield that I'm native to.

But yes, I can play pretend and denounce all of my personal experiences with racism and the beliefs that I hold all for the sake of subscribing to society's innovative spin on racial slurs, but I was never one for believing in fairy tales and I'm not into deluding myself. I've seen too much and read too much to alter my mode of mind at the drop of a hat; it's like lying to yourself, and that's borderline impossible to do.

*[It's similar to when a parent becomes angered with their child for not being grateful for anything that they provide for them. Eventually, it becomes apparent to the parent that their child has never had to experience anything less then what they possess now and is consequently unable to truly comprehend the value of the resources that they have access to. The child takes these resources for granted, and assumes that the old plights of their parents are being exaggerated; attempts to instill a sense of gratitude within the child generally fails, but may succeed as the child becomes older.]

​

There really isn't any distinction though. It's an exception granted via race card, and nothing else. If I tried to do that comradely "hey mah niggaaaa~" I'd get shanked before long, for no more reason than being white. There are better ways to deal with this problem than race cards. Segregation will only make people feel more isolated from each other, not less.

It wasn't an exception granted solely out of the race card, it was one done in an attempt to remove the venom from nigger by substituting the 'er' with a subtle 'a' and claiming the 'new and improved' term for one's own people; utilizing it as a term of endearment, at least from my own perspective, was a secondary objective. It was a coping measure put into action in response to America's long-established (and ongoing) distaste for blacks. I can respect the wishful thinking behind the desire, but the plan--and execution of the plan--wasn't thought out very well; the widespread circulation of hip hop culture throughout the American entertainment industry has only made it so that you now have hordes of non-black persons callously flinging nigga/nigger around and these same groups of people getting utterly peeved (and even confused) when misguided blacks voice protest at their choice of words.

For men and women like me who lump nigga and nigger into the same category and bitterly leer at anyone who uses it, I'm stuck between three entities:

1) My own people giving me funny looks when I notify them that nigga is no different from nigger.

2) A bunch of non-black people doing the same exact thing.

3) And the third group which consists of people who claim that nigger and other racial slurs are somehow no longer offensive or less offensive than what they really are and that anyone who gets offended at the word or its use is a moron.

This is one of the many reasons why I limit the amount of social interaction that I'm exposed to both in real life and online. I tend run into crap like this on a perpetual basis.

Course, if one really wants to address problems in black communities, one need only start with widespread systemic poverty making them breeding grounds for gangs and hardcore drug trafficking, which is more of a societal problem.

It's less of a societal problem but more of an unseen issue that stems from the primal instincts ingrained within every single human being on the planet. But that's delving heavily into a number of controversial, unorthodox and potentially-offensive philosophical theories that I have which would be best lumped into their own discussion thread.

The rest of your post I can't exactly argue with because I either can't throw anything against it (at least for now), or that you raise a point that I have to begrudgingly agree with in spite of my own biases and prejudices. I will say this though: PC was a solid thing to champion and fight for, but now it's been railroaded into a drastic direction that has gone straight off the deep end.

 

[Aliceee]

Oh oh oh, I know a few things that really grind my gears!

1.

Are some people just stupid or is it me? Sometimes when I have classes, I get it that not everybody can get the material that is being explained. I'm not some wonderkid that is capable of absorbing information or capable of scoring straight A's. (I'm sorry mom, I'm normal!) But some are just asking the most idiotic questions ever! In the Netherlands, one learns at primary school where the continents lay. We get educated in where what lies in Europe. When I then hear a person ask if that 'country' underneath the USA is Canada, I just want to repeatedly deskpalm my face against my desk until I'm either knocked out cold or that person learns that he/she has asked one stupid question during a class of geography.

2.

I'm still wondering why the hell some people make a lot of noise during tests. I understand it when somebody needs to focus or think and might chew on their pencil, but for the love of what ever, don't make more noise than hippo's mating! No need to keep wiggling on your chair for the whole time or the sighs! The sighs are probably the worsts. ._.
I'm not joking if I say that I've experienced a person who kept loud sighing every three minutes. And I just had to sit and be silent for fifty minutes, while that guy kept going sighing. I'm not sure if I should just throw my bag at them next time or stand up to then slap them across the classroom.

3.

I listen to rock, metal and what not. I however don't color my hair into what some might find weird colors, like blue or green. I don't wear clothing that are not the same as the cool kids, but just rather stay what I think is best to describe as neutral. However, I do get the tendency to whack somebody's head with a shovel when they make remarks on what somebody else wears. Who cares if a boy wears pink? Nothing homo or gay about that, I think. Kind of makes me go to point four, but I wish that people would let others be and pay more attention to themselves. I for example dislike it that some girls use so much make-up that one might wonder why they aren't leaning forward the whole damn time. Something that is heavy will be pulled down, doesn't it? I wonder if one puts so much make up on their face if that applies as well.

4.

People swearing or making jokes with diseases and other things that aren't even bad. Here in the Netherlands, it is kind of 'normal' to hear a twelve year old saying "Oh? My bike got aids. It doesn't work anymore, lol''. It really makes me want to beat up those little pieces of shit that think that swearing or using such diseases to name something. It isn't fun to use cancer to amplify something you want to say or to call somebody a disease. >.<

Also, I don't get the whole trend of 'Ha, gay!' I don't have any gay friends, but I don't see it being so bad that it should be used for anything offensive. What about the stories of those people committing suicide, cause they were so panicked or desperate when they found out that they were gay? What about those who are needing to flee their country cause of their sexual orientation, cause their country is against it? I don't wish to crack down on cultures, but merely wish to say here and right now that I find it offensive that people even dare to think it is justified to call somebody like that. Why? Cause they can't just say regular scolding terms. Like jerk or what so ever.

In other words, I lose my faith in humanity on a daily basis. ._.

Now that I've said that I guess it's time to fall back into lurking.

 

[Razilin]

Oh oh oh, I know a few things that really grind my gears!

1.

Are some people just stupid or is it me? Sometimes when I have classes, I get it that not everybody can get the material that is being explained. I'm not some wonderkid that is capable of absorbing information or capable of scoring straight A's. (I'm sorry mom, I'm normal!) But some are just asking the most idiotic questions ever! In the Netherlands, one learns at primary school where the continents lay. We get educated in where what lies in Europe. When I then hear a person ask if that 'country' underneath the USA is Canada, I just want to repeatedly deskpalm my face against my desk until I'm either knocked out cold or that person learns that he/she has asked one stupid question during a class of geography.

2.

I'm still wondering why the hell some people make a lot of noise during tests. I understand it when somebody needs to focus or think and might chew on their pencil, but for the love of what ever, don't make more noise than hippo's mating! No need to keep wiggling on your chair for the whole time or the sighs! The sighs are probably the worsts. ._.
I'm not joking if I say that I've experienced a person who kept loud sighing every three minutes. And I just had to sit and be silent for fifty minutes, while that guy kept going sighing. I'm not sure if I should just throw my bag at them next time or stand up to then slap them across the classroom.

3.

I listen to rock, metal and what not. I however don't color my hair into what some might find weird colors, like blue or green. I don't wear clothing that are not the same as the cool kids, but just rather stay what I think is best to describe as neutral. However, I do get the tendency to whack somebody's head with a shovel when they make remarks on what somebody else wears. Who cares if a boy wears pink? Nothing homo or gay about that, I think. Kind of makes me go to point four, but I wish that people would let others be and pay more attention to themselves. I for example dislike it that some girls use so much make-up that one might wonder why they aren't leaning forward the whole damn time. Something that is heavy will be pulled down, doesn't it? I wonder if one puts so much make up on their face if that applies as well.

4.

People swearing or making jokes with diseases and other things that aren't even bad. Here in the Netherlands, it is kind of 'normal' to hear a twelve year old saying "Oh? My bike got aids. It doesn't work anymore, lol''. It really makes me want to beat up those little pieces of shit that think that swearing or using such diseases to name something. It isn't fun to use cancer to amplify something you want to say or to call somebody a disease. >.<

Also, I don't get the whole trend of 'Ha, gay!' I don't have any gay friends, but I don't see it being so bad that it should be used for anything offensive. What about the stories of those people committing suicide, cause they were so panicked or desperate when they found out that they were gay? What about those who are needing to flee their country cause of their sexual orientation, cause their country is against it? I don't wish to crack down on cultures, but merely wish to say here and right now that I find it offensive that people even dare to think it is justified to call somebody like that. Why? Cause they can't just say regular scolding terms. Like jerk or what so ever.

In other words, I lose my faith in humanity on a daily basis. ._.

Now that I've said that I guess it's time to fall back into lurking.

OH GOD THAT GIF

^_^

 

[Stand my Ground]

I can't stand it when people talk with their mouth full. I don't want to see your food being broken down into itty bitty pieces so that your stomach can digest it...

 

[SlamifiedBuddafied]

When your employer doesn't seem to understand the sentence, "The doctors have told me I have a mass in my chest. I'm in shock and need the day off."

 

[Brovo]

New one.

When role players take art that obviously took someone a great deal of time and effort and claim it as their character's appearance without so much as crediting the artist. Alright, I get it, you want to use a picture, many do, and on occasion, I still do. The least you can do is provide the artist credit by linking to their page and saying as such. Otherwise, by every definition, you are a plagiarizing art thief because you were too lazy or too incompetent to draw your own character's appearance, so you stole someone else's hard work.

At the very least, give that person direct credit so others interested in their works can go look for themselves and (possible though unlikely) make a commission of the artist. At the very least it gets the artist's name out there, even if it's only to a couple more people, that's still better than just straight up art theft.

Seriously! What is wrong with you people! I understand some of you simply don't know better, but c'mon, really?! Do a little better than art theft for your "totally original character", please!

 

[Dervish]

New one.

When role players take art that obviously took someone a great deal of time and effort and claim it as their character's appearance without so much as crediting the artist. Alright, I get it, you want to use a picture, many do, and on occasion, I still do. The least you can do is provide the artist credit by linking to their page and saying as such. Otherwise, by every definition, you are a plagiarizing art thief because you were too lazy or too incompetent to draw your own character's appearance, so you stole someone else's hard work.

At the very least, give that person direct credit so others interested in their works can go look for themselves and (possible though unlikely) make a commission of the artist. At the very least it gets the artist's name out there, even if it's only to a couple more people, that's still better than just straight up art theft.

Seriously! What is wrong with you people! I understand some of you simply don't know better, but c'mon, really?! Do a little better than art theft for your "totally original character", please!

I commissioned a couple character pictures from a couple people on RPG, including our beloved Sherlock Holmes. :D

 

[Razilin]

peoplecomplaining

 

[ASTA]

New one.

When role players take art that obviously took someone a great deal of time and effort and claim it as their character's appearance without so much as crediting the artist. Alright, I get it, you want to use a picture, many do, and on occasion, I still do. The least you can do is provide the artist credit by linking to their page and saying as such. Otherwise, by every definition, you are a plagiarizing art thief because you were too lazy or too incompetent to draw your own character's appearance, so you stole someone else's hard work.

At the very least, give that person direct credit so others interested in their works can go look for themselves and (possible though unlikely) make a commission of the artist. At the very least it gets the artist's name out there, even if it's only to a couple more people, that's still better than just straight up art theft.

Seriously! What is wrong with you people! I understand some of you simply don't know better, but c'mon, really?! Do a little better than art theft for your "totally original character", please!

Unless those players are literally claiming the art as their own, I honestly don't see the issue, and it can't be considered theft unless you're looking to claim the art piece as your own intellectual property and not as a humble visual representation of a fictional character that you yourself crafted. That's for roleplaying though, which I assumed was what you were referring to.

If you're talking about assholes on DA who steal art and make phony characters out of said art, that's a massive difference--one that often winds up with someone getting shit-kicked by a permanent ban (and rightfully so).

 

[K3l]

peoplecomplaining

 

[Brovo]

Unless those players are literally claiming the art as their own, I honestly don't see the issue, and it can't be considered theft unless you're looking to claim the art piece as your own intellectual property and not as a humble visual representation of a fictional character that you yourself crafted. That's for roleplaying though, which I assumed was what you were referring to.

I'm referring to role playing, yes. It bothers me to see people taking art wholesale and using it to represent their characters (art which they didn't commission or ask permission to use) without so much as at least crediting the author of the work.

Part of writing is description. It's visualization, it's the ability to describe something so the reader can imagine it--this includes characters. When you use a piece of visual art to describe your character in a literary medium, the least you can do is credit the artist if it's not your work, and you didn't get permission to use it. Even if the legality of the act is questionable, the actual act itself is still either lazy or facetious on the part of the writer as all the work they did for that picture that likely took someone several hours to create is copy and paste it.

It's no different than if I stole a character of yours wholesale and used it for my own devices without so much as at least pointing out who made it so credit can go to where it belongs.

Though, mind you, this is a thread for personal gripes. I don't like it but I don't think it's banworthy or anything else along those lines. I just think it's really seedy, like we can easily do better and choose not to.