What are some dumb things you believed as a child?

[Diana]

When I was a kid, when my mother made roast beef, she would always call it roast beast. One day I asked her what kind of beast it was and she told me it was wolf. >:[ For the longest time I thought we were eating wolves for dinner.

What are some dumb things YOU believed as a child?​

 

[Kitti]

So my mum called me "[Nickname], honey" and the old ladies in my family were notorious in general for calling everyone "honey" so they often had family nicknames like "Aunt Honey" and "Grandmother Honey" , plus "honey" sounds kind of like my real last name. Long story short, I came back from my first day of school traumatised because I had thought my last name was Honey and it definitely was not.

 

[Hecatoncheires]

That I would be a happy and productive human being when I grew up.

 

[SerpentJournal]

I thought the way babies were made was if two people kissed each other enough, one of them would just get pregnant...

 

[Shiri]

I had a non-religious upbringing so up until like 4th grade I thought Jesus was just a babelicious cave man. Then a friend explained his supposed time of life and that he wasn't a cave man and my eyes got all big and I was like "HE'S SO YOUNG!". Then I started to compare timelines in the library...again, some more. xD

I thought schooling and day care was free.

I did not believe in the money tree, but I did think that claw machines filled themselves.

I lost my parents in Walmart once and got help from a clerk. She asked me their names and I answered Mom and Dad. So she scrambled over the intercom to explained what I was wearing at the time. I was so betrayed that she didn't instantly know who I meant by Mom and Dad.

Pluto.

 

[Greenie]

I believed all I needed was a bank card and I could get all the money I wanted from the bank.

 

[Reina]

My hubs had some good ones. His father told him that fog was caused by the clouds coming down from the sky. His dad also told him that Patrick Swayze and Kurt Russell were the same person, he just used different names depending on the movie.

 

[Spekkun]

That my mother could read my thoughts and that my father could teleport to my location whenever I was misbehaving.

 

[Dipper]

That movies were made by tiny people living in the TV and that if you wanted to become an actor, you had to live in the TV forever.

 

[SerpentJournal]

That my mother could read my thoughts and that my father could teleport to my location whenever I was misbehaving.

I find this hilarious and terrifying at the same time. Your dad would teleport inside the room like some NPC, just knowing somehow you did something wrong.

Basically:

 

[Joan]

My sister used to think all boys were left handed and all girls were right handed, and only figured it out when she found out that her best friend was left handed. XD

 

[Spekkun]

I find this hilarious and terrifying at the same time. Your dad would teleport inside the room like some NPC, just knowing somehow you did something wrong.

Basically:

I swear it was like every time I did something, he was around the corner or looking over my shoulder! He always caught me!

 

[Snakes & Lasers]

So, every spring/summer, we'd get this buzzing noise throughout the trees. It clearly wasn't wind, it was just this... buzz. So I came to believe it was simply "the sound of spring".

Even after I knew what cicadas were, it took me years to actually put two and two together.

 

[Mojo]

When I was like 6 or 7 I used to have this friend with diabetes, and I thought that I would get diabetes by eating from the same plate from her. Somehow I got the idea that you got diabetes through sharing saliva. When she wasn't looking I took her cornbread and took a bite from where she last took a bite. Satisfied with myself, I waited and I thought I had diabetes :] Then I got disappointed when I discovered that I did not get diabetes from her.

I remember why I was doing this silly act too. I was angry that I wasn't allergic to anything and that I had no condition. I wanted to be allergic, have braces, have a disability of some kind because I thought I was too normal? I have no clue where I got that idea from as a 6/7-year-old >_<

 

[Shiri]

In kindergarten I was certain I had a horse despite living in town. It wasn't even an imaginary friend because I never interacted with this horse. I would just write about it in a daily journal. It was a maroon horse with a black mane and tail. I think I called it Big Red, like the gum.

 

[fatalrendezvous]

You know how some outdoor (or really fancy indoor) places have stairs where the steps themselves don't have backs?

Something like this?

I genuinely used to believe that if I wasn't careful, I could slip and fall through the spaces between the steps.

 

[Turtle of Doom]

I once asked how the car knew which direction you wanted it to go (talking about the blinkers) and was told that the car didn't know unless you leaned in the direction you wanted it to go. I believed that for longer than I care to admit.

 

[Shelle]

That if you swallowed a watermelon seed a watermelon would grow in your stomach.

 

[Nemopedia]

I used to believe that consuming too much sugar would give me 'sugar legs', which means that I would walk like a drunk and eventually be unable to stand. It was my parents' very effective way of keeping me away from sweets as a kid. Even my teachers were in on the joke for some reason. One of them even did a small performance of what 'sugar legs' were supposed to be when I asked!

 

[Rae]

I'm not sure where I got this idea from as a child...pretty sure I just came up with it, honestly. Anyways, I used to believe that our throat has three passages instead of two (i.e. the trachea and esophagus). One passage was for breathing (duh), one was for food, and the last one was for drinks. Whenever people choked, it was because the Russian roulette that was in my mind (basically, I just thought that people hoped to sweet heaven that stuff went down the right pipe) decided that it was a day to say "fuck You." I thought it meant that food went down the drink passage and vice versa.

It took me a long time to figure out that this was incorrect.