What an awesome life!

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Delusional IIV Idol, Mar 1, 2016.

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  1. I've been roleplaying for quite a long time now, not just on this but on many different sites and it's been a really amazing experience, I started off as a one liners nobody who had to be quoted multiple times in order to get a response to having almost 18 messages each time I logged in. Well guess what those 18 messages have been complete and utter waste of my time "oh can we do a sexual content roleplay with a ton of sex and make sure that we are on an underage site that it will make sure that we will get banned (I'm not specifically targeting anyone or iwaku at this point) and will turn all your hard work in a pile of crap in the middle of a dump" or "Hey i'm going to help you make a roleplay and it's going to be really awesome and then oh sorry you don't interest me, bye and go kill yourself" (again this is just in general and I'm being a bit overdramatic )I'm antisocial girl with autism who rarely gets out of the house expect to go to school and go down to the radiostation once in a god damn while to see friends who automatically make me want to kill them because of how perfect and glamorous there lives are.

    I'm known as the "Bartender" to a lot of my friends, I can sit and listen to them rant and rave about there pathetic life problems for hours on end, but when it is time for me to open up my mouth well. "FUCK YOU, it's all about me me and more about me, who cares if you want to kill yourself, who cares if you might drop out of school, who cares if you're on so many pain medications that you feel like each time you take them you want to overdose and leave this pathetic thing called life." yea that's me, a pathetic worthless piece of crap who can't do anything right. I also fucked up my left eye, so it's swelled up like a ballon and I'm technically drunk on pain meds
  2. I know this is labeled as a rant, but do you want advice or is this just an outlet for you to get out your feelings?
  3. i could use some advice.
  4. ok, why the fuck am i getting sexual rushes, everytime i think about getting a roleplay. ewww.
  5. Okay, well I'm going to start off saying what I always say in my replies to counseling threads. I do not sugar coat things. I say what needs to be said because if I don't there is a chance nobody will, and that would cause you to keep wondering why things may be going down the course it is for you. But let me be clear that I am not blaming you for your misfortunes as I'm sure you have your fair share. We are all given the hand we are and there isn't much we can do about that. However, we CAN do what we can to make them be in our favor.

    The first thing that must be done to turn your situation around is to stop feeling sorry for yourself. I have no doubt that you have it rough, and are entitled to your feelings. That being said, if you truly want to make a change in your circumstances you must try your best to change your perspective. I know this is hard, and I'm not saying it will happen overnight. But perhaps I can help give you a different angle to look from, or at the very least attempt to see it from another angle.

    You've mentioned both here and in previous threads that you are lacking relationships that you are in dire need of. It sounds to me from your statement above that you have quite a few friendships that disappoint you due to them feeling one sided to you. I think you need to ask yourself what you want from these friendships. What do you expect from them? You said that you listen to them all day long as "the bartender" type of friend, but when you want to talk to them about your problems, such as wanting to take your life, they do not satisfy your needs. Perhaps you are asking too much of them. Suicide, and many other deep/depressing topics are too much for many to take on. It is important to remember that many people whether they know it or not, take on the responsibility of your health and welfare the minute you divulge that you are considering taking your life. That is a LOT for anyone to take on, and it shouldn't be their responsibility. That is why there are free hotlines for you to call when you are feeling this way, and some are completely anonymous. It would be terrific if everyone could set aside their own feelings to help you through your situation, but it just isn't that way. When you're feeling that way whether it is due to meds or not, you need to speak to a professional. If you can't afford to see a doctor you should be calling a hotline. You can talk to your friends about it, but you should not expect nor demand that they respond in the way you'd like them to.

    Regarding the roleplays, you mentioned that you've worked on many roleplays and they all went to shit because the people began suggesting the addition of smut. This should not upset you. It is a waste of your energy. It's not like you didn't gain anything at all from your experiences. You got to write, even if for just a short time, which enhances your writing skills if even a little bit, and has given you some social time. When things don't go your way you need to just let it go and move on. Holding on to this disappointment and anger is only hurting you, trust me. There is not one single role player out there that hasn't been disappointed from time to time with their partners. You must wipe your hands of it, pick yourself up, and try again.
    Regarding your friendships, there are a few questions to ask yourself. hen talking about yourself, are you always on the depressing topics, or do you sometimes keep it light and fun? Talking only about your problems makes it very exhausting for the other party. Here and there is not a problem, but if you are always depressing, and expect them to only pity you and fix all your problems that is asking too much. You must have an equal balance of attitude. If you do sometimes keep it light and they still won't listen to you then you need new friends and to talk to a professional about your problems.

    I hope this helped to give you a little perspective and was worthwhile advice. I do hope your situation gets better for you and you are able to find happiness. Best of luck. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to, and I'm not just saying that.
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  6. thank you.
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