I'm personally Monogomous. But I have no issues with other's being in a open or polyamorous relationship, it all falls under the "What you do in private ain't my business" category. You know, as long as all people involved are consenting and are able to consent in the first place.
That being said, there's a few specific points on these I either find rather interesting to talk about, or I feel that people in this thread may of just missed something on.
I can't comprehend how Monogamous couples can tolerate only having feelings or emotional support from one person.
Because often times, they don't. All Monogamous means is you don't practice romantic or sexual bonding with more than one person. The feelings, or emotional support gained from or felt towards others isn't related... at all. For example, have you ever had that ex where you still have strong feelings for them? Years after you've broken up you still find yourself thinking about them? Well, it's not like those feelings go away the second you get together with someone else, you may not have romantic interactions with that ex anymore, but your feelings and love for them is still very much genuine, and not focused solely on your current romantic partner. Or say for example, you get stuck in the classic situation where you meet two people you outright adore, but you have to pick only one to be with (may it be for personal or external reasons). Once again, you don't suddenly lose affection for the person who don't choose, you just don't act romantic with them.
And then you're also forgetting friends, normal everyday friends. Ever wondered why husbands/boyfriends have nights out with the guys and vice/versa? Cause they don't get all their emotional needs provided by one person. Just because you're not romantic with other people doesn't mean you're not gaining something from them. This notion of "Monogmous people put all their eggs in one basket" is rather inaccurate. In regards to romantic and sexual needs specifically? Yes, it's accurate. Needs over all? No... not by a long shot.
Monogamy ends badly, and drama with Ex's is terrible.
Now I've never been in a Poly relationship myself, but I would of highly wagered this isn't Monogamous specific. 'Would of' wagered cause we actually already had poly people post here mention such drama from their partners, so we can state for a fact it still happens. This really is not an issue of partner quantity, but the individuals own ability to properly control their emotions. Do you both have the self control to recognize the relationship just didn't fit your needs, and that you're best off moving on? Do you have the maturity to push through the initial pain of a break up, and realise it will get better with time, rather than blaming someone hurting just as much as you are for your problems? Do you have the ability to separate your own hobbies/enjoyment from your ex? And not constantly fixate on something negative because of some connection?
When a bad or nasty break up happens, the reason for them is that one or both partners answered "no" to those questions. Not because they chose against having multiple partners.
And note, you can take your initial break up rather hard and then snap out of it later. I for one did not handle a break up well back when I was in High School, I took it rather personally and unleashed a lot of guilt and anger at my ex that frankly she didn't deserve. But I was at least able to evaluate my actions and the situations since then, and remove any negative feelings I may of felt towards her or our relationship.
Monogamy has Biological history.
I think a lot of people here has misunderstood the nature of Monogamous relationships of simply being an invention of religion. Where yes, religion coming in and mandating it certainly helped, and making it a legal benefit and status has certainly added additional pressures and expectations around it. But it really isn't that simple either.
Now, obviously I'm not an evolutionary expert, so I can only give a basic summary. But basically let's go back to hunter-gatherer society, or hell back when we were still animals. Poly was certainly around... But for a minority. It was mainly reserved for Alpha Males, those who showed to have superior gene's, survival talent and dominance, so a lot of women in the tribe would want to mate with him. However, mating for women wasn't as easy as "Get Pregnant". She then had to carry the child, give birth to the child, and then raise and feed the child. That takes a lot of work and effort, and protection since for a good portion of that she and the baby are going to be left vulnerable. And as capable as the Alpha Male is, he's resources are still limited and he can only afford to look after, protect and provide for so many females. As a result, the females start looking for other males, those who are happy to simply have one female partner. Where although he may be as prime a specimen as an Alpha, he can divert all his attention to that one female alone, therefore allowing her a similar amount of safety and food as the multiple females with the Alpha.
However, the need's of the woman has decreased overtime, given our evolutionary history, as well as our technological and cultural advances in society. Thus allowing a lower standard for people to qualify for "Survival of the fittest", and thus the crude mating and evolutionary laws of nature have been lessened. To the point that being poly or open is now beneficial to a large number of people, especially considering women are no longer automatically regulated to the nurturing/home maker role, and can thus can provide for themselves and not become an economic burden. However, genetics and instincts don't just vanish that easily. So although the need for being Monogamous has largely passed, we still evolved to favour it, so a lot of people will naturally gravitate towards it. And at the end of the day, we're talking about a partnership arranged for (almost) no other reason today than personal satisfaction, so this isn't really something we need to be worrying about 'overcoming' anyways.
P.S. Anyone that gives me a cookie or a bucket of rainbows here is asking for a good smacking! XD
Well I
was going to give you a useful rating.
But now...
