DISCUSSION Wanna know your thoughts on polyamorous relationships

Discussion in 'GENERAL CHATTING' started by Figgy, Jan 1, 2017.

  1. In writing and real life- talking about religious, closed relationships with more than two people, and open relationships of every type. It's something that I don't see talked about a lot and I wanna have a discussion about the topic lol

    Post your thoughts
     
  2. I think they're cool. I've always wanted to write something about a closed polyamorous relationship between three or more people. Then again there are a lot of things I've always wanted to write about and haven't gotten to yet lol. It would be a good roleplay plot too.
     
  3. I've never thought about rping it lol but I have thought of writing it. I mentioned it to a friend and they couldn't get their head around the idea or it lol glad to know the ideas floating around. Have you ever read anything like it? Or considered experiencing it for yourself?
     
  4. I'm totally fine with them - for other people. I'm grossly monogamous, and this also spills over into my writing, because I just can't get into polyamorous relationships in stories/role-plays, either. I've tried, but I can't. D: It's one of the only dynamics I can't handle.
     
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  5. I've never read anything about it or experienced it myself but I'm open to experiencing it myself as well as writing about it. I have watched documentary stuff about it on TV before but that's really it. I think it is a cool unique concept because not many people are polyamorous or can even wrap their head around polyamory. I definitely think that's part of what makes it interesting as a writing subject.
     
  6. Opal- what is it that keeps you from getting immersed, do you know?

    Ester- what's kept you from making an rp with polyamory
     
  7. I've roleplayed poly relationships and have read about them but personally I don't think I would do that. I prefer monogamy.
     
  8. Poly-amorous Relationships? Sure I dig them, get to sleep with multiple wimminz, sing me up!
     
  9. I tend to dislike polyamory. It seems to lack intimacy or the kind of attention most healthy relationships need.
     
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  10. I wouldn't hate on or criticize other people who practice polyamory or polygamy, and maybe, who knows, I can one day even agree to something like it. But I don't think I am really the kind of person who is all for giving my heart and full attention to more than one person in that way.
     
  11. If it works for other people, then power to them. Personally just about 100% monogamous and not about to change, and it reflects in just about all my writing. Possessiveness and jealousy are things I like touching on to varying extents in most of my RPs and it wouldn't work with a poly dynamic. It would kill it and cause horrid problems/drama.

    I've seen people writing poly couples in RPs occasionally. How much it bothers me depends on the way it's carried out. If it seems genuine - there are in-character discussions about the dynamic, genuine buildups of relationships, consent and boundaries adhered to - then I'm actually okay with reading along and can even care about the characters involved at times. But there are a lot of people who seem to just view it as a "this means X character can screw anyone they like and there are no problems until I inevitably want to detonate a drama bomb!" and that bothers me horribly.
     
  12. Not passing judgement on others.
    Personally I can not picture myself practicing it.
    Takes quite a lot for me to become comfortable enough with someone to date them, and so I would not like said comfort to be potentially compromised by the addition of another person/personality. If me or whomever I am with no longer feel strongly towards the other then we should just break things off. Hopefully on amicable terms. Not try to throw someone else into the mix.

    Writing wise I have made many possessive characters. What's theirs is theirs. I guess I have that in me, and so I have not played any poly relationships. At least not any I can remember. Been rping a long time.

    Edit: Wait no! I almost rp'd a poly relationship, but my partner disappeared before it developed.
    Now that I think about it I was really looking forward to that plot. So....hrmm.... But then again it was me playing the two other people in the relationship, so maybe that was a factor.
     
    #12 ObsidianNyx, Jan 1, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2017
  13. Not my thing at all, to be honest. I'm way too much of a jealous person to be able to handle my Mister with someone else as well as me. Even the thought makes me upset... and I've even had bad dreams about it too.

    I've never thought about it in roleplays, but then again, I usually go with the flow in plots. I would probably be able to write a polyamorous relationship. In fact I do have a character who will eventually enter a polyamorous relationship, if I ever get to writing the darn story.
     
  14. General rule for any relationship; if it makes you happy and everyone involved is cool/legal with it, go for it.

    Whether it's for me, well, besides
    I honestly don't see a lot of benefits. I mean, suddenly you have to find things all three or more of you like to do together and plan it in everyone's work schedule. It's blatantly more expensive during holidays/anniversaries. Fights can get convoluted because everyone wants everyone on their side. etc. Like, what if two of your SO's decide they hate each other's guts one day? Monogamous relations are hard enough work on their own, adding more people and variables to that sounds like adding a whole lot of stress to me.

    I mean if it works for you, it works for you, but I'm not sure how I'd deal with it at all.
     
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  15. Putting my head on the chopping block here, I realize. But what the hey.

    Most people are not suited for successful open relationships, in my humble opinion. And I AM referring to a functioning relationship -- not a buffet of indiscriminate sexual activity without personal ties (which would be something else altogether).

    I have been in one open relationship in my life. (Hmmm, okay -- maybe more than one, yeah forgot about X and Z there, I was distracted.) I tend to be a secret romantic, but the first time I was getting over a broken heart. I needed time to get past that. I met someone who could make me laugh and we enjoyed just hanging out.

    They also were mourning a breakup (engagement broken). We became lovers as well as friends and it was sweet, but both of us were very honest and discussed how we felt that we would never be falling in love with each other. Our feelings just couldn't go that extra half-mile, although everyone saw us as a couple.

    We talked about it and decided we didn't want to give up what we had, but also didn't want to prevent each other from exploring new relationships -- that might become more serious. With the understanding that everything would change between us, if need be, if one of us fell in love.

    Thus, was born our open relationship. We never had a problem with it, though one funny story is that there was a young woman who wanted to hurt me (over a misunderstanding). She didn't believe we had an open relationship and seduced my partner. Then she swaggered up to me the next day, intending to absolutely crush me by telling me she had slept with my lover last night.

    After she was done talking, I smiled and said "Yeah, he mentioned that. He thinks you're really great."

    She was flabbergasted and we actually got along really well after that, when she realized she had the wrong impression of me, completely.

    Eventually, the open relationship ended. There was a huge amount of pressure from friends and relatives that wanted us to hook up permanently. Everyone wanted us to be this storybook couple And badgered the hell out of us.

    And we went our separate ways, but remained friends until he got engaged again--and I sensed it was too difficult for his future wife to have me in the picture (even as a friend--which I totally understood and supported) so I dropped out of touch.

    (Though when something terrible happened in their lives, I popped back up and his wife was really glad-bizarrely enough- even grateful that I had reached out, and she and I would hang out yakking on the phone. Then eventually I distanced myself again, when it was like, the appropriate thing to do.)

    That was early days. However, generally I'm monogamous and enjoy being jealous as hell--open relationships take too much damn work!

    P.S. Anyone that gives me a cookie or a bucket of rainbows here is asking for a good smacking! XD

    P.P.S. And the above relationship started when I was 19 and he was much older. Some of you may have read the thread on relationships between younger and older people. In this relationship I was definitely the more dominant person, though I never abused that power.
     
    #15 Ravenfrost, Jan 1, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2017
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  16. Someone will -always- get their feelings hurt at one point or another for reasons directly related to the many partners "relationships".

    It's a nice idea though and may be fun for a very, very short time.
     
  17. People don't get their feelings hurt in monogamous relationships?
     
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  18. All the time >.>

    It's why as much as I don't like a polyamorous relationship for myself, I don't blacklist it conpletely because I've seen it work for others.
     
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  19. In respect to real life, as long as they are all consenting adults, religious or not, go for it. I have never had such and experience and I don't intend to, but that just my preference. I don't think that I'd have the emotional stamina needed to fulfill the wants and needs of multiple partners. Just because I wouldn't be able to make it work doesn't mean someone else can't. We are a highly social species so it just kind of makes sense that someone out there could do it and do it well.

    As for roleplays, I like to keep things varied for immersion-sake so I have roleplayed a few polyamorous relationships. Some work out fine, some don't. It all depends on the interaction of the characters. One such roleplay made me cry big, ugly tears. That's when you know you are doing something right.
     
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  20. From a personal perspective, they can work but only for specific circumstances. I was in a long distance relationship, we were both bisexual and very sexually open. We discussed it, and we decided an open relationship could work for us based on two rules - It has to be with the opposite gender and it has to be sex only! Because it was just sex and I couldn't fulfill all of the sex whilst we were away from eachother, it really worked for us. If it was romantic it was against why we were even in this open relationship. I hope that makes sense lmao

    I've now found someone who I'm seriously monogamous with. We're so happy together and I can't see what he's missing that I'd have to get from someone else. Plus, we have to make a lot of time to see each other and dates are expensive, so I don't think we could do with another person involved, it would make life a lot harder. Also my mentality doesn't accommodate the strength to be this deeply dedicated to more than one person, especially if we were all dating each other. There is a threat of jealously.

    However, that's what I've experienced. Sometimes three people can fall in love, and some people can be poly, I think if it's legal then go for it! I have met poly people who seem awesome and it's nice to see love being celebrated!
     
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