Waiter, there's a ______ in my soup!

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Then why not jump in and join?

Waiter, theres a fruit ninja in my soup.
 
Well, it's Vegetable soup, so he must be confused.

Waiter, I spilled the Blood of Virgins this time!
 
Oh, come on! That's the tenth time this week!

Waiter, There's a pickle in my soup.
 
No, that's just a jar of pickles.

Waiter, there's an adult film star in my nachos.
 
That sounds like one cheesey porno.

Waiter, what's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
 
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European is 24 MPH, African is unknown, sir.

Waiter, what's the capital of Assyria?
 
I don't know tha-aaaAAAAAaaagh!
(Monty Python FTW)

Waiter, Rook to B6.
 
Checkmate, sir.

Waiter, I seem to have opened a portal to hell...
 
What are you calling me for?! Get an exorcist! Get Constantine!

Waiter...what are you doing in the pits of the Indie 500?
 
What? i can't hear you!

Waiter, they're doing the Gangnam Style in my elevator!
 
Then get under the humping dude and tag along!

Waiter, there appears to be an anime girl that is constantly following me and watching my every move O.O
 
Yes. That is the Yandere. We have called a SWAT team.

Waiter, there's a spy in my Embassy!
 
I'll call the CIA, you just wait here. We will give you free soup if ya want.

Waiter, there's a soup in my TARDIS!
 
You drink it, Doctor.

Waiter, there's a spell in my book!
 
Then use it to take over the universe and become the most powerful being there ever was

Waiter, there's a Death Note in my cake!
 
I'm quite sorry sir, that death note should have been in your bag of potato chips. I'll go fix that now.

Waiter, why are there news teams brawling in the back alley?
 
Sir, they are not brawling. They are merely having a scuffle. I'll ensure another waiter will take care of them.

Waiter, there is an AI that keeps calling my phone.
 
S-r- yo-e b-ak-ng up!

Waiter, there's a Lynch Mob in my soup!
 
Then rock on while enjoying your awesome sounding soup, sir.

Waiter, theres an elephant riding a bicycle that keeps trying to get through a tiny door in my soup.
 
Here, take these binoculars and these tweezers. Simply look through the binoculars backwards to shrink the elephant so that you may extricate him from your soup with the tweezers. As for why there's a door in your soup... umm...

...I'll go ask the chef.

Waiter, why is my soup levitating?
 
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