BOOKS Voldemort's Parenting Advices (Voldemort for Dad of the Year, 2020)

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Gossip

WARNING: TOO MUCH INFORMATION
Original poster
Roleplay Invitations
One on One Roleplays, Private Convo Roleplays
Posting Speed
A Few Posts a Week, One Post a Week, Slow As Molasses
My Usual Online Time
I have no life atm
Writing Levels
Adept, Advanced, Prestige, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female, Transgender, Androgynous
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
Pretty agressive, both in posts and in brainstorming.
Favorite Genres
After my rather long hiatus, I feel like light, humorous, cute and/or easy to write!
Genre You DON'T Like
Furries creep me out, and constant Angst depress me, sorry.... ah, and animals are a no go either, though I love those little critters.
So I'm actually in the process of planning a rp where a youngish Voldemort is married to a poor, unsuspecting pureblooded witch and have a young daughter. This came out as my partner and I were discussing the utter horror of Voldemort being an actual dad:

Delphini: Father, Timmy is a bully! Were you bullied when you were little?
Voldemort: No, and do you know why?
Delphini: Why?
Voldemort: I strung one of the little bastards' pet rabbit from the rafters and tortured the rest in a dark, empty cave on the coast.
Delphini: Oh.
Voldemort: So, how can you solve your bullying problem?
Delphini: Strangle Timmy with his own intestines.
Voldemort: That's my girl! Go on now, love you...


Now, what would be the other 'life lessons' that dear Voldemort would teach his devil child? I'm curious about what you may come up with! :D
 
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Gossip

WARNING: TOO MUCH INFORMATION
Original poster
Roleplay Invitations
One on One Roleplays, Private Convo Roleplays
Posting Speed
A Few Posts a Week, One Post a Week, Slow As Molasses
My Usual Online Time
I have no life atm
Writing Levels
Adept, Advanced, Prestige, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female, Transgender, Androgynous
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
Pretty agressive, both in posts and in brainstorming.
Favorite Genres
After my rather long hiatus, I feel like light, humorous, cute and/or easy to write!
Genre You DON'T Like
Furries creep me out, and constant Angst depress me, sorry.... ah, and animals are a no go either, though I love those little critters.
Part two, because I have no self-control whatsoever:

Delphini: Daddy, I want a friend!
Voldemort: I'll get you one, sweetheart.

later that day

Wife: *screams in fright* Thomas!
Voldemort: What is it?
Wife: WHY is our FIVE YEARS OLD DAUGHTER having a tea party with an INFERI?!
Voldemort: She wanted a friend, I gave her one.
Wife: A fr-?! *screams of rage*
Voldemort (while looking back at his wife's retreating back): What? It's not like I gave her a dementor or something!
Delphini (from the next room): Ooh can I have one?!
Voldemort: Ye-
Wife (from further down the hall): (simultaneously) NO!
 
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