Venting

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Norahas

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Okay, so this just happened, But until I get it off my chest it's going to eat at me.

Basically my mother and her "boyfriend" got into yet another argument about things in the relationship and other nuances around the house. Nothing really out of the ordinary I guess. It's always about the same thing every time. And sometime's he calls me up to bring me in on something or just brings me in to try and "talk" with me.

Now, bit of backstory, I don't like this guy. He's obnoxious, loud, and if it's not his way, it's no way. He's always right and always smarter then everyone. He tries to play that he's not the smartest but it's like he's bragging about it and always bringing it up that it doesn't even seem humble or wise. Just a plain jackass to me.

Now, he brought me up to try and settle our "problem" and we don't have a problem other then the fact that I do not like him as a person. There's not much that's going to change about it. But it's not like I defy him or don't listen to him. If he's talking to me or tells me to do something, I'm not gonna argue with him about it. I may get a little attitude, sure, but i'm not causing a whole scene.

Well, He calls me up to try and have a "talk' with him about this "problem". I tell him upfront as I have before and there's not much to do about it. Cause neither of us are going to lean on changing. He's been with us for about six years now, and that's not changed anything. So, he then goes on to ask me who made the refrigerator. Now, I told him I didn't care who made the refrigerator. It was simply a tool I used to store food in. He then got pissy with my attitude of a response because to me, I thought it was stupid. I don't care about the color of skin people have. It's just something superficial to me. But he then he goes off on an entire tangent on how I don't care about my own heritage and that by knowing the past I can change the future. I told him the whole thing about race was stupid and that it's irrelevant to anything. Then he goes off to say that a black man made the refrigerator and the idea was stolen by a white man, and by me not caring about history like that, that i'm immature.

Now, I'm just fuming on the inside listening him talk about this whole thing. He just goes on about how it finds it competently angering that people my age don't care about what their past is. Then tries to crack on my mother by saying it was her fault for bringing me up this way. That it's wrong to just not care about a skin color because by knowing history you can change the past.

Which I understand where he's coming from, I just don't like looking at just the bare skin for a judgement of anybody. I don't care that a black man made the refrigerator. I more care about the fact that some asshat stole someone elses idea. But that whole concept is just overthrown with the fact that someone was black and white. That I'm a "bad man" for not sticking up to my heritage, which most of the time I'm trying to be sold into the idea that I'm black but it's like the smallest percent you could ever imagine.

And that it's bad to think this way because other people don't think that way.

Ugh. The entire thing just makes me fume. But he also is trying to throw flack my mothers way for raising me wrong. That is just what sets me off the most.

Sigh...I just needed an outlet to vent and get something off my chest.
Though, am I wrong? Is it wrong to not give to flying ducks about the history of something old and because it's race related? Like. I get for a majority of people to get over something they might need to just work through the past. But, for someone like me who just doesn't care about something so superficial, is that a bad thing? Should I care more? Not like I can suddenly just change my thought by I guess I just want some other input. Something that I just can't see through him because of who he is but see through someone else's lens.
 
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We have the wonderful opportunity, as individuals, to be able to define how we see ourselves.

Some might choose to define themselves by their past, and by the people who came before them. And that's valid.

It's also equally valid not to define yourself in this way.

The important thing to remember is that it's your choice how you view yourself, and no-one else's.
 
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