Unwritten Rules

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Minibit, Feb 18, 2016.

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  1. what are some unwritten rules you've learned and/or followed in your life? Include context, if applicable

    Snitches get stitches

    If you are a guest, don't take the last of something from the kitchen

    Never refuse a breathmint

    Host gets to be player one

    Your car/house, your tunes.

    Shotgun is a responsibility. Shotgun handles radio, maps, and food/drink distribution.

    The driver may veto any musical decisions

    Bros before hoes
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  2. chicks before dicks

    never date a bro's sister

    repetition breeds mastery

    if you've got time to cry, you've got time to be constructive
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  3. In my house:

    Mom is last. Food, showers, you name it. The kids and my husband go before I do. I know some people might think that letting my husband go before me might be a bit old fashioned. The way I see it though, he works, the least I can do is let him rest up and eat.

    The cook never does the dishes.

    The last one out the door double checks the locks.

    First one up walks the dogs.
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  4. One does not simply watch a single episode.

    When you grow close enough with someone, knocking on their door before going in becomes an annoyance to them. And they're actually grateful when you just walk in.

    When you are at home without guests, the pants come off.
    And if guest arrive in the middle of it, your Sister might complain, but the guests will defend your lack of pants.

    If one does not clean bowls immediately (specifically for Pasta or Poutine), then a simple dish washer will not do the trick. Long hours of soaking become required.

    Parent's cooking Dinner is now something only done when they're in the mood. The rest of the time? Go make something yourself.
  5. Life is not fair.

    There aren't many things that come free, but hugs are always one of them... Unless it's from your brother. Then you either have to steal them.

    If you can't walk, don't try to run.

    Never try to push someone's wheelchair without their permission.

    Always say please and thank you.

    Do or do not, there is no 'try'.
  6. But what if the driver isn't the car's owner?


    Don't leave Headphones out where cats can get them.

    Chinese Food lasts for lunch for three days. No exceptions.

    Last one out of the house empties the dishwasher.
  7. Practice makes permanent not perfect.
  8. Ownership takes priority I would say. This is a rare scenario though so if the driver could claim priority due to extenuating circumstances
  9. If you've been to the house more than three times, you are no longer a guest. Get your own water, get it from the fridge yourself, etc.
  10. Driver always take priority. At least that's how it's been in every car I've been in.
  11. This.

    Person controlling the machine gets what they want.
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  12. I fucking hate this one with a burning passion. I've seen waaay too people misconstrue it to mean that you should never speak up whenever someone does something wrong, no matter how bad that something may be. It's just something that kids say to avoid getting in trouble, not something that you should carry into bloody adulthood for Christ's sake.

    Anyways, mini-rant over.

    -Never leave anything lying on the floor, or else the cat might pee on it.

    -Don't blame other people for your own stupidity

    -If you see a mess, clean it up
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  13. If there's a funny video, you must share it with everyone you know.

    If someone is crying, hugs must be given unless you know the person doesn't like them.

    If you eat the last slice of pizza, you're on everyone's shit list.
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  14. S/He who smelt it, dealt it. >:]

    ...and you better believe I will never say a damn thing.
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  15. take your shoes off in my house holy shit
  16. The moment you step through my god damned door, you obey my damned rules.

    1. Leave your bullshit at the door, I don't want to hear you whine.
    2. You leave your shit in my apartment it becomes mine. I don't give a shit if you want it back, it's at a thrift shop. Go get it.
    3. By the rule above, if it is food I have eaten it or plan to.
    4. I will not put my pants on in my own damn house. No I don't care if you are uncomfortable, get out if you are.
    5. Clean your shit up.
    6. You start a debate, you finish it whether you are right or not.
    7. Clean your dishes, I am not your house boy.
    8. If you are hungry, fix something. Again, not your house boy.
    9. Samuel L. Jackson is the patron of this household, I will not watch my mouth.
    10. Don't be a bitch.
    11. Take your shoes off in the house.
    12. If you leave a light on in my house so help you gawd I will brain you.
    13. Do not feed the cat, she is on a diet.
    14. Do not eat the last piece of chicken.
    15. I swear if you leave garbage in my house you will find it again. On your car.
    16. Call before visiting.
    17. If you really must bring your bullshit into my house, bring a peace offering. Like beer or hard cider. Otherwise, stop yourself before you wreck yourself.

    Better yet, just leave me the hell alone.
    #16 LogicfromLogic, Feb 19, 2016
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 19, 2016
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  17. If someone is treating you, order something cheap or at most middle-menu.

    The first few times a person comes to your house, straighten up and apologize for the mess even if there isn't one.

    If 10% is under a dollar, tip a dollar.

    Alcoholic drinks and desserts are things you order as a group or not at all.
  18. Never headbutt a samoan.
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