Unrequited Love

[Ser K+]

I've been on the receiving end of that. Six times.
I've had three girls that seemed to like me simply off of looks and maybe my goofy-ish yet serious behavior I denied them particularly because I didn't and still don't know them personally. One foriegn girl who I guess liked me because I fit in at the group the majority of foriegn, well I guess I should say Burmese or those from Myanmar hung out with. A homo-sexual guy that seemed really into me but I made him settle for friendship, because I'm not homo. And a half-japanese girl who's older brother I was always helping with French homework...

There may be more but I wouldn't know.

... I feel a bit bad though. They really seemed to like me alot...

I haven't had the experience of like-liking people though... If I'm on the front end of unrequited love, I may be sad for a short while, then promptly forget about it.

Since I'm me...
Chaste, whatever that means.

 

[Seba]

Other times, you just want to spend 14 hours straight playing the new XCOM while your girlfriend goes on a Disney movie marathon.

That day was fuckin' awesome.

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

Maybe it's because I'm in a happy, stable, long term relationship, but I honestly don't see the rush. Love happens when it happens. You won't know it until it hits you in the face, and even then it takes a while to figure out. Real love is a lot of work, that much I can attest to. It's not trying to get the other person's attention, or trying to get them to see things in you that most people don't see. Things like that either happen, or they don't.

The most important thing to realize about love and relationships is that it's never going to work out exactly how you picture it. Life is a bitch, and the best way to learn if a relationship is going to work is to see whether or not the other person is willing to stick through the shit storms when they hit, or if they bail at the first sign of trouble. When I first met my husband, I knew that we were going to end up together, but I had no idea exactly how long. I had a feeling he was the one, and trust me, for the longest time I convinced myself I was just imagining it. It's hard to explain, but the first time I really got a look at him it was like some switch went on and all of a sudden it was just a fact that he and I would be together. I probably would laugh it off if that hadn't been how it worked out. When things started getting serious, I freaked and tried breaking up with him. I lied and told him I cheated on him, to which he called me out and point blank told me he knew I hadn't, then insisted that he wasn't going to let me break up with him. Kind of creepy now that I look back on it, but it worked. We've been together for going on seventeen years, and married for fifteen of them. It definitely hasn't been smooth sailing for us, but we've managed to keep it together for the most part.

The funny thing is, when we were set up the most I was expecting was a one night stand. That was pretty much what we both expected. Doesn't seem like the night ever ended....

 

[SacredWarrior]

I had a crush on a Mexican guy that I went to middle school with but my feelings weren't returned. It kinda sucked but I moved on. There have been times where guys have crushed on me but I didn't return their feelings. I'm not really into relationships at the moment. I got too much shit going on at the moment and plus I don't see the point of being in something that's gonna end anyways. I despise drama and relationships bring that and only that. Add my zero tolerance for bullshit aaaaaaaaaaaand that sums it all up.

 

[Kestrel]

I honestly have no experience with my affections being unrequited. Apparently it takes me a long time for me to start investing emotion in relationships of any kind. Either that or I'm not admitting it to myself, or so I'm told be people who don't believe me.

Vice versa... Like a complete jerk. I want to say I'm considerate, but I'm not. Something in me picks up on how people feel about me real early and subconsciously affects my behaviour. Turns out I act/become disinterested with people whose feelings I cannot reciprocate, before I even become aware of these feelings. Damage control tends to be kinda tricky by that point :/

 

[Sidhe]

You know what you don't do? After initially rejecting their advances, become so worried that you've lost a great friend that you try to convince yourself that you feel the same way, enter a relationship with them, continue said relationship for almost a year, and then come to realize that though you love them, you're not in love with them, will never be in love with them, and that you fucked up Real Bad.

Don't do that. That's bad.

Also don't let them threaten and manipulate you into entering a relationship with them. Really don't fucking do that.

 

[SacredWarrior]

Also don't let them threaten and manipulate you into entering a relationship with them. Really don't fucking do that.

That's when you let the curse words and your fists fly >:) God I'm so terrible

 

[Soulless]

When I find myself crushing, I remind myself that emotions are transient.

When someone crushes on me, I remind them that emotions are transient. This doesn't seem to help much.

When we're crushing on each other, then we agree to enter a relationship with certain boundaries that are discussed.

 

[Astaroth]

Unrequited love? Depends on what you mean. I actually dated the first girl I fell in love with, she just didn't ever actually love me back.

I dated her for six years.

 

[LogicfromLogic]

So...how do you handle it? What was your situation like? Has it stopped your passion for love? Or does it make you fight harder to find it?

Mine's going to sound over dramatic and shit but honest answers here.


I fell in love with someone a while back, opened up for the first time since my last long lasting relationship.

I admitted my love for this person and they told me the same, I fell head over heels for them. For months, while not exactly dating or any of that, just I guess flirting and even saying, 'I love you'. I don't know what I did or said but they stopped talking to me completely. Even seeing status updates talking about hurtful things like how they were alone all that time and what not, all of them stung like hell.

It broke my legs and made me feel like shit, so after that I've just been kind of steering away from the love scene. I got to a point where I didn't even think it was possible to hurt that bad but damn; had me in places I've never even been in. I see their name and it hurts. I see something, anything, that we used to love and it hurts.

But that's not fair on anyone; for me there's no such thing as love. And that's talking about me and my reality; nobody else's. The whole thing was a wake up to me to realize that that true love stuff is bullshit; people are assholes. I can hardly take myself, what in the seven hells makes me think that I can handle anymore than that?

So I guess I shut it out. I've other things in life to concentrate on. Someone else's bullshit sure the hell ain't one of em.


But I may be in a very complicated poly relationship with sleep, coffee and hard cider. Those things I could marry and be with for the rest of my life.

 

[Brovo]

Unrequited love? Depends on what you mean. I actually dated the first girl I fell in love with, she just didn't ever actually love me back.

I dated her for six years.

I know this feel.

 

[Alan]

Been there, done that. All you can do is pick up, move past it, and vow to do better next time.

 

[die_Sprachkenntnisse]

I started a thread some time ago about crushes, so happy to see the topic go on (=^-^=)

@Brovo man your speech was awesome. Kuddos to yous.

@ Everyone Faaaak thiiissss!!!! (T-T) I've been feeling so hard for this embodiment of perfection; everything about him is just perfect (*-*
I bring him offerings of cupcakes every now and then; I'm pretty sure he knows or suspects. But those cold-warmed eyes freeze and melt me all the same, it's so wrenching...so beautiful.

I'm completely lost in the sea of fantasies that I had never dared to swim in. His voice, tone, words, skin, thoughts, aura... all evokes in me the most profound and profane poetry my mind has ever dared recite. He makes me nervous... But I'm so driven, it's so challenging, so confusing, so arousing, so beautiful... I would just love a chance to have a nice conversation with him, hear his story under his breath, inside his embrace, from the touch of his fingers,... I would love to hear his heart beat even for a bit, to feel his warmth, his breath... I would even dare to kiss him if I had all that courage...

..but... there's really not a chance between us, at least I think so... there's also another huge issue I would like to reserve to myself, but you guys can just imagine. Move on? No way, a battle is not lost until you give up, even if that machine gun is rippling through your heart, mind, soul and body... it's like walking on amber burning coals... I love him... at least ideally.

Everyone as you will, life is beautiful.

 

[Brovo]

I started a thread some time ago about crushes, so happy to see the topic go on (=^-^=)

@Brovo man your speech was awesome. Kuddos to yous.

@ Everyone Faaaak thiiissss!!!! (T-T) I've been feeling so hard for this embodiment of perfection; everything about him is just perfect (*-*
I bring him offerings of cupcakes every now and then; I'm pretty sure he knows or suspects. But those cold-warmed eyes freeze and melt me all the same, it's so wrenching...so beautiful.

I'm completely lost in the sea of fantasies that I had never dared to swim in. His voice, tone, words, skin, thoughts, aura... all evokes in me the most profound and profane poetry my mind has ever dared recite. He makes me nervous... But I'm so driven, it's so challenging, so confusing, so arousing, so beautiful... I would just love a chance to have a nice conversation with him, hear his story under his breath, inside his embrace, from the touch of his fingers,... I would love to hear his heart beat even for a bit, to feel his warmth, his breath... I would even dare to kiss him if I had all that courage...

..but... there's really not a chance between us, at least I think so... there's also another huge issue I would like to reserve to myself, but you guys can just imagine. Move on? No way, a battle is not lost until you give up, even if that machine gun is rippling through your heart, mind, soul and body... it's like walking on amber burning coals... I love him... at least ideally.

Everyone as you will, life is beautiful.

Careful. If you want him, pursue a relationship. Ask about it, make it clear that you can take time to get into one, be patient, but be brave. Ask. If he says yes, congrats! If he says no, then let him go. It hurts, for a while, as all unrequited love does, but you have to move on from the past to enjoy the future.

So enjoy these feelings of love, but don't lose yourself in them. They enhance life, they don't justify it.

 

[Space Cowboy]

Careful. If you want him, pursue a relationship. Ask about it, make it clear that you can take time to get into one, be patient, but be brave. Ask. If he says yes, congrats! If he says no, then let him go. It hurts, for a while, as all unrequited love does, but you have to move on from the past to enjoy the future.

So enjoy these feelings of love, but don't lose yourself in them. They enhance life, they don't justify it.

This is actually really wonderful advice.

A+++

 

[Brovo]

This is actually really wonderful advice.

A+++

The most wonderful part of humanity is the intensity of love. It surpasses any boundaries and inspires some of the most fantastic and compassionate things our species is capable of. It sends tens of thousands to dedicate their whole lives to healing the sick and feeding the hungry, giving homes to the homeless, making families, raising children. But like all things, it's finite. As finite as life and all the elements of the universe.

So enjoy the moment, but remember that time never stops ticking. Everyone has dreams, we all want to belong. One day, as surely as you take breath and feel, it will all end, without warning, rhyme, or reason. So the only piece of advice I could offer everyone is to remember that life is a spell cast only once. Don't waste it living for everyone else, because you can only love someone else if you have the love of yourself to give in the first place.

As for everything else... It's gravy. It's spice. It gives passion to life. There are no certain answers. Just the small pieces of infinity we have.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

Unrequited Love? Never.

Love isn't something I just develop for someone out of the blue, that shit takes time being together to blossom. Only had one case where such feelings ever developed. Said relationship ended a long ago, but it wasn't due to something being Unrequited, but rather to do with a whole list of pressures and factors that in a nutshell I'd say boils down to "Two teenagers being stupid (more so me)".

Unrequited Attraction? Other than one case, no idea.

I'm not the kind of person to let the person know if I start liking them. I usually end up keeping such things to myself, and just keep living my day to day life. If a relationship is going to happen, I'd rather it happen naturally not through a forced conversation and/or superficial dating (and also not happen when I feel getting in one would be unhealthy for the other person). In fact the only two cases I've ever been in a relationship the woman ended up making the first move.

So... If there's someone I'm attracted to and they feel the same way or not? I wouldn't know cause they don't voice it, and I'm outright horrible at picking up on small ques. You either need to tell me outright, or have a pretty obvious que.

There's only one case where I actually ran into a known unrequited case, but it was when I was the one lacking the attraction. It's a bit awkward, but honesty about it is usually the best medicine. Can't really give any personal advice on how to handle it on the receiving end... But from cases I've seen of others, I'd have to quote Pixar.

 

[die_Sprachkenntnisse]

The most wonderful part of humanity is the intensity of love. It surpasses any boundaries and inspires some of the most fantastic and compassionate things our species is capable of. It sends tens of thousands to dedicate their whole lives to healing the sick and feeding the hungry, giving homes to the homeless, making families, raising children. But like all things, it's finite. As finite as life and all the elements of the universe.

So enjoy the moment, but remember that time never stops ticking. Everyone has dreams, we all want to belong. One day, as surely as you take breath and feel, it will all end, without warning, rhyme, or reason. So the only piece of advice I could offer everyone is to remember that life is a spell cast only once. Don't waste it living for everyone else, because you can only love someone else if you have the love of yourself to give in the first place.

As for everything else... It's gravy. It's spice. It gives passion to life. There are no certain answers. Just the small pieces of infinity we have.

thanks for the beautiful words man. I wrote a poem tonight at work cause I'm pretty sure by now that my feelings wont go pass the platonic/crush face, but I'll do my best to maintain a friendship with him. He is a great person over all and anyone can learn so much from him, so I guess is not all that bad for me.

I would like to share my poem with everyone since, as sad as it may sound, I feel like it's the only way I can express my feelings openly...

it's in french sorry >_<U

La maladie d'amour (love sickness)

« À bientôt », tu m'as dit,
Mais ce tôt n'est pas venu.
Toutes les nuits,
Je t'espère dans mes rêves
Pour une chance.
Une chance de te parler, de te toucher,
De t'embrasser…
Je veux te dire à l'oreille
Que je t'aime.
Je veux savoir tes peurs,
Tes joies, tes rêves.
Mon cœur t'appelle, il crie toujours qu'il t'aime.
(Mais ce tôt n'est pas venu.)
Mon corps se fatigue, ton nom je répète
En espérant que tu avec moi restes.
(Je ne veux pas guérir.)

 

[Razilin]

i'm fairly certain one of my nerdy chick friends has an unrequited crush on me

its unrequited because i'm married

#friendzoned