Unrequited Love

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Mid, Mar 1, 2016.

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  1. We have all been in these kinds of situations...Whether it be us having the feelings or someone else having the feelings for us.

    So...how do you handle it? What was your situation like? Has it stopped your passion for love? Or does it make you fight harder to find it?
     
  2. I can honestly say I have never really dealt with unrequited love. The guy I had a huge crush on in high school, had crush on me as well, we simply never went through with anything because I was constantly going back to my ex boyfriend who I had been with since I was 13. I guess it could be considered unrequited because the feelings were always there, and neither of us acted out on them. We would flirt all the time, but that's as far as it went.

    If I knew then what I knew now about him, I would be grateful that things didn't work out. The way I see it, and I know not everyone sees it the same way, but things work out how they're meant to be. If you're meant to be with that person, it will work out. If not, than there's a reason for it. You might realize later on down the road that you really weren't as compatible as you thought you might be.
     
  3. oh, i just move on

    plenty of chicks in the hen house and all that

    and my wife could tell you that i had no shortage of geeky girls hitting on me while we were dating and even when we're currently married
     
  4. I had a mild crush on a guy who soon after I met him started dating one of my friends

    So I scored a new friend!

    I have had what I call "distance crushes," too, which is kind of like unrequited love but with the added qualifier that actually speaking to them / interacting with them directly isn't really part of your agenda. You just kind of admire from afar and draw doodles of them and stuff :3 It's much more a case of admiring someone and fantasizing rather than wanting a relationship with them. Part of a "distance crush" is that you can project perfection onto them from a distance; if you get to know them, you have to get to know their faults and areas of incompatibility as well.
     
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  5. I haven't been in a single relationship where I'm not interested in someone else... But frankly, when you're a teenager all you want is a steady partner to sleep with, so I never went on a love-is-the-dregs Tumblr spree.

    As for the other way around, I hate it. I can't deal with confrontation. There was this one chick in my parallel class that messaged me on Facebook and I panicked and just blocked her immediately. That was fun.

    Tl;dr: I'm an absolute pussy.
     
  6. oh man, i decided to remind my wife of when we were both in med school and just started dating; the security guard rent-a-cop at the med school's door had the HUGEST crush on me. she was an artsy type, good pianist, and an anime nerd to boot. pretty cute, too. i always had fun chatting with her about shows and anime and stuff. she ALWAYS ignored my wife/then-girlfriend whenever we were both around.

    i always had the inkling she had this crush on me, but i was kinda-sorta, maybe-intentionally dense about it.

    but one of my colleagues actually just called me out on it during a rotation we had together: "Dude, she has SUCH a crush on you! Its SO adorable!" and then i headdesked.
     
  7. I don't know that I've been in a true unrequited love situation. If there's no chance in heck it would work, I'll usually just get over it. It's when I think I could possibly maybe conceivably have a shot where its a problem. The current situation involved half-year relationship where we broke up amicably because he just wasn't "feeling it" any longer. We did the "friends" thing (see forced acquaintances with history) for a while before I kinda just cut contact with a "Look, call me if your interested in pursing something again.... but if not please don't." Still don't know if I handled that one correctly, but it is what it is.
     
  8. I used to take it poorly; not talk to said person for a while, flirt and fling with different girls, used to think it was hopeless. I'm seventeen now, eighteen soon. The rants about how I'll "never find love" was stupid as fuck so young. Humans are complicated so it takes time to find that one person you truly click with, that one person who'll put in as much effort as you to keep shit going for the long run. The heart wants what the heart desires, but you also need to take that time to find out the desires it truly wants. Nowadays if someone doesn't return my feelings then I start focusing on my life more. I act, I work on music, I have school, I have a sick mother to take care of. Sure, someone close to talk to and be with would be nice sometimes, but I realize getting my own house in order is of higher priority for my future. That's what helps me get past it.
     
  9. Raz said it best:

    Just pack up and move on.

    It does no one any good to stay put and dwell on it. It's really unhealthy, actually. If you've already "made your move," so to speak, and it becomes an unrequited love situation where they don't share your feelings, or hell, refuse to acknowledge yours or give you the whole, "I need time to think" speech, then seriously, move on. You can maintain a friendship if you want, but accept the situation as your moment of release, catharsis, if you will.
     
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  10. The only thing I've found that helps with unrequited love is paying attention to body language and character. Being able to understand why these things happen help both people involved to move on and decide what their next move is.
     
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  11. I don't talk about it because I keep my feeling bottled up..actually I used those feeling to create a character so it all worked out.

    I knew the guy did not like me back, but that did not stop me from forcing him to hang out. He didn't get out much.. I would like to think we reached friend status by the time he had to move.
     
  12. Where do I start? It was a crush that began from our kindergarten years and we grew up attending the same elementary and high school. It somehow grew into something more ever since grade six onwards and by the time I was in third year I knew I was in trouble. We were friends and I think he knew but yeah. I'd rather not divulge everything on a forum but it hurt. I had my own share of other crushes and passing fancies but he was always that one constant.

    It helped me grow up, but...

    Unrequited feelings suck. It was partially urged on by our friends and up to now those same friends make being in a room with him awkward. I just want to get my friend back but noooo continue on implying stuff about us my dear friends
     
  13. I've had plenty. I'm too shy to say anything and eventually I move on. Most of them are just puppy loves so allg my love life is intact!!
     
  14. Though I often say love is impossible for me, imagining things from the ladies' perspective... even if I present an unmovable, unloving object, I give them a lot. And they give me a lot in return. If they truly saw me as hopeless, they might not continue to go out with me, so...

    I'll give you the advice my dates would likely give to all of you; there is always hope, if you feel something, it's always possible to break through. It's just a matter of whether you think Mister or Miss Unrequited is worth it.
     
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  15. Pack up, move one. There is someone for everyone, unless your not looking for it.

    Orrrrr

    You can stare at them trough their window while writing shitty poetry. That works in movies.
     
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  16. I was once in this situation... I still enjoyed his friendship and companionship very much, so it wasn't a completely negative thing to be in that situation. Eventually though I moved on when there was someone better and actually had similar feelings to me :)
     
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    • Nice execution! Nice execution! x 1
  18. I've always had an uncanny amount of control over my romantic life, so I have never been in a situation where I had feelings for someone but they didn't have feels for me. O__O I've had crushes, but it never went past crush to love unless the other person was digging me too.
     
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  19. All love is unrequited to some extent. That's something you have to accept about the real world: That there is no magic in love. It feels like magic, but that's because four billion years of evolution have built you to feel that way about it. I have fallen deeply in love with people who never returned that affection. Given everything I had to try and get people to love me during times where nobody did.

    One of the greatest phrases I've ever heard about love is thus: "Love is happiness shared." Nowhere in that statement does it necessitate or imply that love goes both ways. A compassionate person can show love toward the ungreatful, a parent can buy toys for a kid who doesn't care. Love is something you feel, it's not something that magically defies laws of physics to connect two people with some sort of fucked up telepathy.

    I'm lucky enough to be in a loving relationship with a beautiful woman (@Seba hello darlin') but it wasn't something I got by just throwing my love at people. Throwing your love at people who don't want it emotionally is codependent, and throwing it at people who don't want it physically is, you know, rape. I am a hopeless romantic at heart, but I waited three years for a real relationship. I didn't just throw my affection at whoever was attractive to me, I talked with them, got to know them, and asked myself if I could live with them when we aren't feeling lovey dovey.

    After all, it's possible to love people who are bad for you, and no matter how intense your feelings of love to someone (or someone to you), those feelings rise and fall like the tides. Some days you want to cuddle and eat popcorn and watch shitty romantic movies by candle light. Other times, you just want to spend 14 hours straight playing the new XCOM while your girlfriend goes on a Disney movie marathon. It doesn't mean you aren't in a relationship anymore, it just means that love will wait another day to express itself.

    Tldr: You can feel love without a relationship. The best relationships involving love also involve equal or greater amounts of friendship and trust.
     
  20. Once when I was younger, it didn't work out well. I've mostly had casual flings that didn't last long otherwise. I don't think I've ever been strongly in love, but it's not something that bothers me much. There's a lot of interesting women out there.
     
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