Unforgettable Memories

[Kattzillaa]

Blue Fields - The Therapist
@Rainier Ashton Bernhardt ​

Blue Fields, or just Ms. Fields as she hated how the name sounded together, had been a therapist for years now. Some of her clients were PTSD patiences and some had depression but most had anxiety, which she owned a bit herself. It never really affected her all that much now but as a kid it was much worse, she herself had been to a therapist and that was how she became one now. Listening to her patients, never growing to attached but enough that they could relate.

"I see.... I suggest this type of medication but you may want to talk to your doctor about it." Her voice was very calm in order to sooth them and a nod was all she got, avoided eye contact and maybe a quick glance. A smile appeared on her face as she handed to female a paper and led her out. The halls were very neutral with a tan color and paintings of scenery, nothing interesting at all. A lobby sat at the front as well but at the moment it was empty which made her sigh. Lunch time. Blue was ready for lunch alright and she made plans with herself. There was a coffee place just down the road which was easy enough to walk to.

The closer she got the more the smell of black brewed coffee wafted in the air with a side of cookies of some kind. The more she could smell it the faster she walked, oblivious of the people around her. The person behind the counter was someone she was quite familiar with, Rose.

"What can I get you Miss. Fields? The usual?" A nod came from her while flipping her naturally brown hair back over her shoulder. She looked pretty sassy for a therapist with a skirt, hells, and white button up shirt.

[FONT=Marcellus, serif] While waiting for her order, Blue sat down at a table becoming absorbed in her phone quite a bit. So much so that when her usual coffee and sandwich appeared in front of her she hadn't even noticed until it was too late. The coffee grew cold and when she checked the time panic flooded her system. The time. She was late. That was extremely unacceptable, especially for this certain client that had been referred to her for what had recently happened to him. The coffee and sandwich were left behind and she ran back to her office place, running in high heels of course.

Several weird glances were sent her way before she busted into the door of her workplace with breaths of exhaustion. She probably looked horribly unprofessional in that moment and immediately fixed her outfit quickly.

"I'm sorry... You'll have to forgive me I wasn't paying attention to the time." Blue begged without bothering to look up and see if anyone was actually there. [/FONT]

 

[Rainier Ashton Bernhardt]

Rainier Abernathy- The Author
January 3rd, 2020
7:00 AM



Scandalously attractive steely-grey eyes stared up at a white stucco ceiling as he lay still and silent in his bed...alone. The king-sized sleigh bed seemed so empty without Katlyn's body curled up in one of his oversized white-button up dress shirts; no bra just black panties. She generally would take up the middle of the bed despite her five-foot-six stature. He could always easily have moved her, she only weighed one-hundred twenty pounds. She was a petite thing--cuddly as hell. Rainier or 'Alex' as he preferred to be called outstretched on muscular arm across the empty side of the bed. It felt so lonely without her cold hands grasping and raking his bare, muscled chest. Two years, and could still remember the way she'd wake up and nuzzle their noses together right before she kissed him lightly upon his lips He could still remember the taste...it was a sweet as honey to the tastebuds and as smooth melted chocolate to the touch. Her long platinum blonde hair would fall against the sides of her face and he would always entwine his fingers in it...

He thought he could do it until time stopped...but when that moment came, when time did indeed stop, everything had utterly changed for Rainier.

When he looked over at Katlyn's slumped head, resting against the crumpled door frame, head bleeding he remembered the panic he felt--as he felt it now. The powerlessness, the drive to do the impossible. That pressure was rising in his chest again; he was sinking, being dragged under the tides of pain the washed over him like the ocean crashing vehemently against a moor. His outstretched arm came to lay across his face, covering his damaged features; scars that hid dark memories--memories that haunted him like nightmares. Tears began to flow freely as his hands covered his face and he sobbed--crying out her name as he had that night. The night time stopped for him. The intense pain in his left leg didn't seem to dissuade him from the vision of him calling at out Katlyn's name repeated as he unbuckled his seatbelt and attempted to open the smashed, pulverized driver side door that, like a wall that barred him, wouldn't budge.

Rainier remembered swearing and cursing; his leg wasn't budging either. Neither was his left arm for that matter. He pleaded, he begged; he cried and bawled like aq helpless child until...until it all faded to black. In the weeks that followed Katlyn and their newly conceived blessing had perished from the moment of impact; the 4x4 F350 had slammed into them so hard it had totaled Rainier's Mercedes-Benz by flipping it over, and over, and over down an embankment. The firefighters had to use heavy machinery just to cut away prions od the car just access it and pull Katlyn and himself free--but the drunk driver that had so abruptly ended two people's lives, and left another crippled--possibly for life--walked away uninjured. Just scratches and bruises.

The last thing that Rainier remembered seeing before he would awaken four weeks later unable to use the left side of his body from his neck down--was Katlyn's body being lifted up above the seats of their car and carried by a crew of four to the journey. Then, four weeks later, he awoke. He didn't care about the severe aching pains on his left side--of the sheer agony of what felt like obsidian shards piercing his skull; something he'd always have to live with now. Just another reminder, just another thing to help him not forget what was once so perfect in every way could not be without great cost. The alarm clock blared and blared, signaling it was time to get up and face yet another day without Katlyn's smile, her grace, or the serenity she had brought to him. He'd have to forgo all that now and face the days ahead alone.

Sitting up on the side of the bed, Rainer winced badly as the screws in his joints twisted and turned the joints; the metal rods in the ulna of his forearm and his tibula of where his shin bone used to be, ached incessantly. He pressed his good hand to the memory foam mattress and 'pushed' himself into an upright standing position. He felt like a man 60-years older than he should be as he shuffled across the dark cherry-stained wooden floor. His Great Dane named 'Bandit' was a Blue--it was really more of a dark bluish-gray color. Katlyn had gotten Rainier for his 31st birthday. The dog was playful, friendly--but protective. Yet, Bandit could somehow tell someone's nature or intentions. So even strangers who he never met, he'd be okay with some--with others he'd make it well known they were not welcome.



After feeding Bandit, Rainier sought new clothes to wear; he picked out a gray plaid shirt, a dark-colored tank top, and black dress slacks. He then set off to warm up the water for a shower. Turning the handle to the glass enclosure, h then reached and turned the knob for the shower which hissed and sprayed water down from the ceiling. He hung up his clothes, stepped over to the sink and the two mirrors. They showed two different people; two very different people. A man, aged 35 years with one side of his face slightly drooping from a broken cheekbone looked tired; the bright exuberance burned away from his eye--the other had more noble features; a high risen cheekbone, a narrowing jawline that tapered to a narrow but rounded point. His right eye carried with a flame, a desire--there had to be something more than this deprived life of loneliness...
=======================================================================================================
San Fransico, California
Healthsprings Support Center
January 3rd, 2020
8:00 AM

Leaving Bandit to watch the house, pressing the keypad to unlock the doors and start the engine to his BMW M850i xDrive Coupe; the vehicle was sleek in design, well-rounded at all the right angles to make it a highly stylized work of art--a twin-turbocharged, all-wheel-drive 523-hp engine. He slid the key into the ignition and pulled into reverse, swerved around the roundabout in front of his two-story homestead, and set off for the clinic. It was 7:30 AM, and he'd make it there by 8 AM--give or take traffic conditions which turned out a bit lighter than he had imagined so he was a bit early. He locked his car as he got out, taking his cane with him as he lumbered to the door. He signed in at the front desk; giving his license, and his other credentials such as medicare cards; he was a best selling book author so using his real name came in handy as he went by Alexander Bernhardt as a pen name--so no one would know who he really was.

He sat in waiting for more than an hour, holding onto his cane like some decrepit old man. But, just as he thought his therapist wasn't coming--a woman burst through the front door--panting as if she'd been running. In those heels?! Was she out of her mind?! That had to be the most uncomfortable thing ever!

"I'm sorry... You'll have to forgive me I wasn't paying attention to the time." The woman continued panting.

Raising from his seat, Rainier straightened his back and stepped over to the woman, he then slid one of her arms around his surprisingly toned shoulders; despite having been in a car wreck that nearly cost him a leg and the ability to talk or walk, Rainier's spirit was one of pure determination. Even if he wanted to stop going his body wouldn't let him, it didn't know how to. He carefully guided the woman to his former seat and helped her sit then squatted slowly, arms dangling between his knees as he looked up into Blue's face.

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to see me," he joked. "Although, I don't think I'm worth running all over San Fransico for--well, anymore." He put a slightly sarcastic tone to his silvery and deep husky tenor. His words were saccharine; they carried a honest-to-goodness attractive hoarseness to them.

​

 

[Kattzillaa]

Blue Fields
@Rainier Ashton Bernhardt ​

Blue let him sit her down without complaining too hard, letting her chest heave a bit. She smiled gently at his kindness and helped him sit back down as well, regretting being late the minute she caught sight of the cane. It must have been hard to get here like that, painful and tedious. Motivation must have been lacking to come here too, most patients were like that.

"I'm glad you came... It must have taken quite a bit to get here." Blue's soft voice encouraged and complimented while momentarily looking at his cane. "Shall we?"

She offered her hand and helped him up, leading him back to her office while her short brown hair sorted itself out, messy due to all her running. The place itself seemed rather boring, probably to avoid causing any unwanted stress, so boring that it just might put someone to sleep. The walls of her office her pretty bare too except for her college diploma and other educational things. A basket of fruit sat on the table next to the couch while a fluffy dog laid in the corner, calm and happy as they entered. He looked to be a Saint Bernard, probably one of the biggest and most friendly dogs there were.

"This is Ashe... He's a sweetheart if you want to have him with you just call him." Blue called the sweet dog over who sat in front of her as his tail wagged like crazy. She tried to make the place as calm as possible which was why there weren't too many things or distractions, except for maybe a huge dog. It was intentional though. "So, what are you here for?"

She knew exactly why he was here but talking about it was the first step to getting over it and if he could tell her right up maybe he was farther along than Blue had first thought. She doubted it though but it was a worth a shot after all.

 

[Rainier Ashton Bernhardt]

Rainier Abernathy
@Kyatto
​

"I'm glad you came... It must have taken quite a bit to get here." The woman said to Rainier looking down unto his derby cane which was propped against one shoulder as he had crouched down. "Shall we?" She continued after catching her breath.

His greyish blue eyes shone like jewels in the ambiance of the fluorescent lighting looking up into Blue's face. To be honest, he never cared for them. They hurt his eyes. He preferred the warm glow of a table lamp or that of one on a nightstand much more. But this woman, she was young in her modest appearance. He'd wondered rather or not she could stomach the things he might have to divulge to her. He'd almost feel pity for the woman were she not studied in the roots of counseling. He supposed he ought not to judge a book by its cover, but, she was a bit younger than he'd expected. He was 35, and she looked barely 25.

Of course, young women these days tended to look older than they really were, which only furthered the shroud of doubt growing in his mind about how well this arrangement might work out--but he'd at least hear her out, get a feel for her before closing the proverbial book so soon after opening it.​

​

"Lead the way," he insisted, rising with Blue's assistance to his towering 6'6 stature that loomed over her, even as he leaned to his right side.​

​

He was an intimidating man to be sure. Even with the cane, his arms were well-built; muscular and sinuous. They bulged slightly into large, bulbous proportions that looked like he could snatch Blue right up and squeeze her to death. He was barrel-chested, not quite as "ripped" as he once was. But, there were certain...other qualities about him that stood out that would put her more at ease. His smile was warm as it was kind. His eyes were faceted gemstones of an almost faded sapphire hue with marks of silver ingrained in his irises. They were brilliant, yet their luster was tarnished by the glimmers of pain and sorrow that didn't just seem to haunt him, but possess him.

He followed the young woman into her office. It was quaint, modest and cozy--it reminded him of a small cottage hidden in the woods somewhere. That somewhere being near downtown southern San Fransico. As he stepped into the room he was greeted with an unexpected surprise. a nearly 260lb St. Benard who's coat ha a large splash of caramel brown, atop an off-white underbelly and throat, paws and legs. It was like someone had laid a blanket over top his lower back end and a patchworking of white, caramel and black over the dog's droopy expression. The animal's coat was thick, yet well-kempt. She probably brushed him at least once a day, if not twice.​

​

"This is Ashe... He's a sweetheart if you want to have him with you just call him." Blue said to him, yet, there was no need for him to be called. The dog knew he was an okay guy and stepped forwards on his own accord.

"Ooooohoho. Look at you," Rainier lowered himself down to face level with Ashe, making the animal less tense as he wasn't as big and imposing as when he stood upright.

Then Rainier lowered his cane to the ground, again showing he had nothing to hurt Ashe or his master with. St Bernards were well known for their loyalty. Granted, any dog trained, handled and properly loved on would die for their owners. Except for maybe teacup poodles or something, they might just run and hide if there's someone really big and scary looking walking around. But this dog was hefty. He knew he had weight to throw around. As the dog panted, Rainier grabbed the scruff around the sides of his neck and began to massage and caress the soft shimmering coat.

"Bandit's not gonna like this," Rainier chuckled, smiling as he eyed the dog while the Blue gathered her notes and such and sat down comfortably. Rainier reached into his pocket, grabbed a milk bone--he always carried milk bones. Bandit loved the things--and pulled it out. He then looked Ashe straight in his big, dark brown eyes. "Sit." He stated, and Ashe sat straight up licking his jowls hungrily. "Stay." Rainier would go on to say, the dog following along, eager for the treat. Rainier carefully placed the snack on the tip of the dog's snout, then backed away slowly. "Get it, boy!" The St.Benard flipped his snout up like the dog was flipping a coin and then snatched the treat right out of the air "Good boy!" He praised the animal, patting its side along its ribs.

Rainier then looked up at Blue, smiled and said "Sorry, I don't get out much these days--Playing with Bandit and work are pretty much my life," He laughed softly scratching his head before fetching his cane and climbing into his seat across from her.​

"So, what are you here for?" Blue had asked him and immediately, his behavior started to change; deteriorating rapidly into self-imposed dissension almost.​

​

Rainier's hands rubbed together nervously before protectively sliding up his forearms. "Well, you know--Drs. orders and all." His head tilted down as he said the words, the smile fading. ​

​

There was a lot of non-verbal communication 'tics' going on with him. He seemed entirely withdrawn. Not because he didn't like or even trust her, but because he wasn't entirely sure his self why he was there. He could have easily dismissed the primary care physician's request--but he didn't. He gave it a chance. Nevertheless, he was guarded though not because he'd crossed his arms or anything--that was a self-soothing habit. It was because he was skirting around the question itself.​

 

[Kattzillaa]

Blue Fields - The Therapist
Interaction: @Rainier Ashton Bernhardt ​

Blue smiled while writing down that he seemed to like dogs. She kept it as a mental note to keep Ashe around when Rainier came, she liked to give her patients an environment to grow and learn about themselves. Every single one of her patients has this opportunity as that's how she rolled.

"You are good with dogs?" Blue asked in curiosity as she closely watched the male and dog interact. Ashe didn't usually approach people first like that, always preferring to stay with her. It made her smile just a tad bit as her dear old puppy opened himself up to someone. "Ashe isn't usually like this with most people, he prefers my company over most~! I'll have to admit it makes me a bit jealous!" She joked obviously not being serious about the last bit, words could indeed be taken too seriously at times.

A moment seemed to pass after she asked the most important question, the question of why he was here. His arms crossed and he looked down taking a very self-protective stance. It wasn't aggressive more submissive in a sad kind of way. Blue definitely noticed all of this while taking a mental note of it and closing her note book gently. "If you don't want to get into it just yet, that's perfectly fine too." Though the truth of the matter was talking about the issue was why his doctor suggested it. PTSD was a possible symptom, hatred toward certain situations, fear, and a lot more could follow without her help. There was no point in making him feel pressured though as this would just stress him out even more, which wasn't the point at all. "Perhaps you could tell me about yourself? Name, age, favorite things, best thing to happen to you, worst... Things along those lines and we can get to the reason why you're here later. After all, I can't help much unless I know you well. I'll go first."

A breath entered her mouth as he inhaled and exhaled, thinking about herself and what she could say for a moment. When it came to herself she never really thought of herself as all that important, rather helping other people than herself in all honesty. "I'm Blue Fields, I'm 25, my favorite things... I really love blankets, The best thing that has happened to me was adopting Ashe, and the worst... My mother committing suicide." It was definitely a long time since the last thing had happened as Blue didn't seem has bothered by it anymore, but her hand did go up to adjust her glasses as she cleared her throat. Still a touchy subject, why wouldn't it be? Another breath left her mouth as she calmed herself down a bit, letting a single lock of brown hair fall over her face. "How about you?"