Uhhh....help?

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Nydanna, Apr 13, 2015.

  1. My husband just called me a little while ago to tell me that my brother in law, who was due to arrive on Thursday, the day after my husband arrived, is going to be here tomorrow! Yikes! Talk about no warning.

    A little background on my history with my brother in law. I met him before I met my husband when I became friends with his girlfriend at the time. She and I ended up becoming enemies, and he naturally took her side. After they broke up, we still didn't really talk to each other, in fact I kind of avoid my husband's family as much as possible.. However, since my husband's younger brother passed away last year, I've kind of tried to be a bit more than civil to his entire family.

    However, I did not expect to be stuck all by myself with my with my brother in law! I have no idea how to talk to him, or even if I want to talk to him, but I certainly can't be rude.

    Ugh....I thought my husband would be here before he got here. Now I have no freaking idea what the hell to do. X_x
     
  2. Similar situation with my now ex-sister in law. Sort of.
    Only advice I can give is not to cave in to your desire to tell her off.
     
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  3. I've been in this situation every time I face my dad's side. Best advice? Be better than how they may treat you because in the end it will show who the bigger person is. Family members (in laws notoriously) infuriate us in the most horrendous ways, but the best way (in my experience) is to grin and bare it. It's just x amount of time in your life, and most of your life will be spent with him not in the picture.

    So, when your in law gets there, just be polite and don't bring up the past. If he does, I'd suggest a polite subject change request.
     
  4. Suck it up and let the past be the past. That shit has been years. Seriously. Make some small talk. Have a drink. If it doesn't work out: bring a book to kill time just in case.

    I mean come on. How bad could it be?
     
  5. I'd say be the bigger person and try to start from scratch with him.

    It sounds like those issues were years ago, and over a girl he's probably long since forgotten about.
    It's fairly likely that he has the same concern/worries about meeting up as you do.
     
  6. I agree with Kestrel and Gwazi. I for one am just not one to hold grudges; something bad happens between me and some other person and I like to assume that they could get better in the future and that we can both be over it. If I see someone for the first time in years, with my last memory of them being a sour one, I'll still act like nothing happened if they don't bring it up, either. Sometimes people want the past to be over with just as much as you do.
     
  7. First breath...know that you can do this.

    I've been in similar situations and I know you will feel a little stressed but relax, do some meditation, RP, dance, have a bath or a cup of tea or whatever gets you in that special place, where you feel safe.

    Now....in your space little haven contemplate possible outcomes...the way I see it you have 3 options.

    1. Your relationship will remain indifferent - the same as now
    2. Your relationship will break down completely
    3. You will start to mend your relationship

    Work out which one of these options makes you feel most comfortable and think of steps to help you get there.

    If you want my advice on steps 1-3 pm me, always willing to help.

    xx
     
  8. I don't plan on telling him off or even trying to start something with him. XD I'm more anxious about it than anything else. I'm not very social with anyone outside my own little (Tiny!) circle and being forced to interact with someone for almost two days that I'm not close to is challenging. As far as I know his attitude toward me has changed a bit because of his younger brother passing away, and he's trying to strengthen his relationship with my husband. But ugh!!! I wasn't prepared to have to deal with him without my husband being around! It puts all the pressure on me. @_@