Ugly Good Bad

[Meraki]

Eliza just sort of shut down. If Rhett hadn't save her, again, she would have been babbling on like an idiot trying to find any possible way to explain how she managed to have two dead parents, killed by a man who posed as a father figure and her entire life had been one big orchestrated plot by a psychopath and a murderer. No, that certainly wasn't dinner conversation and she caught Nikki's eyes reading hr trying to figure out just what she was going to say. Great. Super. Now Eliza was disliked and crazy and she just felt like a complete waste of space. No wonder they didn't like her, though. No foster home ever did, that was apparent by the glaring messages left on her back and the abandonment that scarred her heart.

She didn't even know why she tried anymore. No, of course she did. She tried because Eliza Madison just wanted to be loved and accepted but it got so hard. If she was open and vulnerable, people walked all over her, and when she was cold and protective, they strayed away. Sometimes she wondered why Rhett even bothered, but she shook the thoughts from her mind and finished up her breakfast. Even her favorite meal of the day had lost its appeal and that was serious for her. She would never turn down breakfast, never in a million years.

Rhett found a way to excuse them and his mother jumped on it quickly. Let's talk later, just mother son. Eliza brought her hands up to her face to brush her hair back, her shoulder screaming out at the motion but she couldn't do it. She needed a moment of clarity and to just be alone, with Rhett, without all of this stress or fear. She hated feeling like this, she hated feeling like she was worthless because it had taken her so long and so many years at the Academy to not feel like that. She made herself strong, powerful, the kind of girl who didn't take anyone's shit because she could throw it right back, but a few sharp tailed words and a look made her feel like that worthless little seven year old girl being shipped back to Linda because, once again, she wasn't what they wanted.

And as the scar accumulated and the fear set in, more and more people left her because it was easier. Even Rhett had thought her cold when they first met, but she was trying — she was trying so hard and the fact the she was failing made her skin crawl and every injury on her body cry out.

"Thank you, Mrs. Wolfhart," Eliza said graciously, her words warm though she could feel the anxiety welling up inside, "Breakfast was wonderful."

Eliza squeezed Rhett's hand. She just needed him.

 

[Nav]

"Of course, dear," Rhett's mother responded, "I expect to see you both down for dinner from whatever it is you plan on doing today."

Feeling the intensity of Eliza's grip on his hand, Rhett just smiled but didn't even show a flinch. His face was calm again, relaxed as he began to feel more comfortable in the situation. He wasn't that same fourteen year old boy anymore— he was twenty-eight for fuck's sake, he really shouldn't be allowing some questionable comments from his still-living-at-home cousin make him question his masculinity. It was easy to let one's self esteem fly out the window when panic was busting down the front door, but Rhett quickly got a grip of himself and stood up.

"Thanks again, we'll see you later. I'm still feeling a little sluggish from the traveling yesterday so I think I'm going to insist on a bit of a post-breakfast nap then we're going to explore. We'll see you later." He didn't pause a beat and once he was on his feet and his excuse passed through his lips, he had given Eliza a small tug and began to lead her up to the attic. He had never seen, not once, Eliza Madison look so small and lonely. Growing up, Rhett had always thought loneliness was an abstract idea, an affliction of the old. Even when he was alone, he had never felt lonely. In fact, he relished his alone time considering he grew up in a household where privacy just wasn't even an object. He didn't know what Eliza was feeling but all he knew was that he didn't like the look on her face. He didn't like the way she gripped his hand so tight, or the way she floundered uncomfortably in a way she never had before.

He wanted to fix it and he wasn't sure that he could, but he knew why. For Eliza, it had to be that inability to share her love and without sharing love, it had a tendency to deflate and leave a hole in one's chest.

"I—" he began slowly once they were in the privacy of the small hallway where the attic stairs had been dropped, but he didn't quite ascend them yet. Instead, he turned to Eliza and slid his hand through hers so he could wrap both of his arms firmly around her waist. His chin tucked against the crown of her head. "Love you, and you are… huh, you are just so— perfectly imperfect for me and… we either both make it through this together, or neither of us do. I'm not leaving you, Eliza. Not now and certainly not ever, okay?" He didn't know if they were the words she needed to hear, but they were the words he needed to speak… the ones he wanted to speak.

With a smile, he sat back on his heels so he could look down at her, his hands coming up from her sides to rest on her cheeks and press a loving little kiss right against her forehead. "And for the record— that went actually extremely well. You should have seen what happened to the first girl I brought home, back when I was in high school. Poor thing never talked to me again."

 

[Meraki]

Rhett seemed to retain some of his confidence as his mother insisted they return for dinner. God, dinner. That seemed like yet another reason to fear being here. It was the safest place they could be, but emotionally it did not feel like it. No, it blew open Eliza's chest like a bullet wound and revealed all the wants and desires that had accumulated in her heart. She was at their mercy, their questions and their looks, and it didn't help that Eliza had wanted to be everything for Rhett and she felt like nothing. It was a crippling loneliness, the kind that made her feel like her heart was collapsing under the weight of the conversation around her. There were so many people but she was screaming on the inside, she was begging and clawing and praying for someone, anyone to remind her that there was more to her than a disappointment. They were dark thoughts, certainly, but Eliza had been grappling with them her entire life.

A sense of purpose, a sense of love and wanting, but more than anything a sense of companionship. All it took was one person, and she felt it the moment they moved away from the table. Rhett's arms came up and wrapped around her waist, his head falling against her crown lovingly and she felt safe again. Not the kind of safe that came from bulletproof vests, but the safety that came from being able to admit that, for once, Eliza Madison was so far out of her element that it made her skin crawl.

His words were exactly what she needed to hear, loving and honest, beautiful in only a way Rhett knew how to speak. She knew what Rhett was to her and it was more than just her boyfriend. For the first time in her life, Eliza had someone who was hers. He knew every inch of her, the secrets and the pain behind the scars, and he knew her mannerisms perfectly. Even if she did to grab his hand, she knew that he would have understood what was going through her mind, what was stirring in her heart.

I'm not leaving you, Eliza. Not now and certainly not ever.

Could that be true?

Eliza, despite the pain, brought her arms up immediately to slip under his arms to wrap around his midsection and bury her face in his chest for a moment. It wasn't the kind of thing Eliza would ever cry over because she had wasted so many tears in her lifetime crying over the same thing. She just needed him there, more than he knew, because Rhett had not only broken open her parent's case, but he helped her heal every single day — something she never thought she would do. And even though it hurt now, she knew that she would be better for it someday and those fears and scars would fade. They always did.

"That was terrible," Eliza said to him when he assured her it went extremely well, "Nikki thinks I'm a man, I talked back to your mother, and they probably think I'm a fucking mess. Not that they're wrong, but I don't want them to think that."

"I love you so much," Eliza murmured as his lips found her forehead, "I know you'll never leave, but you're the only who has ever stayed. And I won't run, Rhett, not from this, not from anything. I want to be with you, no matter what it takes. No matter what demons I have to figure out how to face."

"You are everything to me, you know that right? Absolutely everything."

 

[Nav]

He felt bad, but he didn't regret coming to Wisconsin. He hated it. He hated feeling the way he did whenever people spoke down to him and he hated seeing Eliza get ripped apart from the inside out. He hated that his mother was going to probably drop dead when she found out he wasn't on his medication or in therapy anymore as she'd probably pull out the 'you seem fine now, but remember that one time…' story. He hated who he was in Wisconsin, as it was embarrassing to him. He hated that Eliza didn't feel like she belonged, and wasn't happy. And he just… hated it but he didn't regret because Wisconsin would only be a small blip in their lives.

It'd be a memory they could look back on, laugh nervously, and hastily change the subject, but they needed Wisconsin. Eliza was injured, Rhett had been spread too thin, and Sylvia and Robinson were weighing down on them heavily. In his mind, he knew it was still the right decision, but that didn't mean he was happy about it. A sigh relaxed through his shoulders as she turned into him and nuzzled into his chest, her arms hanging with impossible tightness around his midsection. "Yea," he said with a hint of lamenting, "Nikki thinks you're a man, but hey… she also thinks I'm a woman so I think we still make a great couple," he tried to tease, lifting a hand up and sneaking it below her chin so he could steal a glance at her. "And you know what? Maybe they do think you're a mess. They certainly think I'm a mess, but look around… Nikki is on kid four, all with four different men, and still lives at home. My mother? Bless her heart, but she has never worked a day in her life. And Joe… Joe had five DUIs the last time I checked and got subpoenaed to court for not paying child support."

"What I'm trying to say, Eliza, is yea, we're both messes. We're both grand… huge… disasters of mess, but don't let people you know nothing about make you feel bad. I think, actually, we're doing pretty damn well. I mean… look at us. We are moral people; we have a healthy relationship, a cat that we haven't inadvertently killed yet." Rhett ended up shrugging, "That's pretty damn good, if I do say so myself." His hands snaked to a point where they were cradling her neck, bending down to meet her in a kiss, this time to her lips.

"And I love you, sweetheart," he answered, "And maybe you do have a lot of demons you have to face, but you should know you don't have to face them alone. I'll be right here with you through each one and every step." His fingers ended up rivering through her hair, pushing the dark locks back before standing back with a smile. "But let's not even worry about any of that. Why don't we… get dressed and we can go outside and explore a little, huh? There is a nice little diner nearby where we can go get some lunch later, too. Until dinner, it'll just be you and me, what do you say?"

Nothing would be worse than dwelling over breakfast until dinner, so instead he decided he was going to make full use of their day. There was any number of things they could do, and the Wisconsin countryside was her oyster. "But first, we definitely need to get some winter clothes on."

 

[Meraki]

"I know," Eliza breathed out, her blue eyes finding his, "You're right. You always are."

It hurt, not just the injuries but the feeling of not being wanted. Rhett loved her and that gave her the strength to overcome it all, but it did not change that the impact of the words hurt. It did not change the fact that it felt like every other time and that deep down Eliza was just a scared little girl who had no idea how to face the reality of what a family was. Maybe they were dysfunctional and fucked up and she knew nothing about them, but at least there was that home. There were family meals. She always hoped that one day she would be part of them and feel like she belonged. It just wasn't a reality for her, though, and she was beginning to see that the moment she accepted that, this whole Wisconsin trip would get a lot easier.

It did not matter if Rhett's family liked her. She wanted them to, even went out of her way to try harder for them, but if they didn't want her — that was that. She was an adult now, she could make her own family, choose her own life, and nobody — not the Wolfharts, not Sylvia, and certainly not fucking Robinson — would ever change that. She could not and would not be manipulated. Maybe she was a bit weaker from the accident and her emotions were frayed and a bit on the fritz, but she would find a way to make it work.

Hell, she thought it was the end of the world when Rhett was arrested and once she managed to pick herself up — she had managed to get him home and save the life of a little girl who would live a tortured childhood.

But one day…one day she would realize that it was possible to heal. Eliza could only hope it was sooner rather than later.

"No, we haven't killed Einstein yet," Eliza laughed softly, "and I'm glad you'll be there to help me through them, I just — even with how long we've been together, it's just so easy to fall back into the mindset so quickly. But I'm working on it, I promise."

"And maybe your family hates me," Eliza sighed, but a playful smile found her lips, "but I figured they would anyway when I outshoot them later. I was saying the best shot in New York to be polite. The kid gloves are off now."

She was joking, of course, though she wouldn't be opposed to showing off just a little bit. It was time the Wolfhart's got to see the brilliant man Rhett was and Eliza owed it to herself to retain some sense of dignity.

"That sounds wonderful. I'm always up for exploring," she smiled, "so long as there is a drink somewhere in that equation later today. I know I look super tough, but my shoulder is killing me in this cold."

 

[Nav]

"I'm not always right," he corrected her gently, "Statistically, I'm only right about…" there was a beat of a pause as his eyes rolled back to think, "About ninety-six point four percent of the time. Who knows! You could always end up running into that three point six percent."

He knew how much work it took for her to grapple with things like family. It was a work in progress, and possibly would always be such, but Rhett didn't mind. That's what made for the best things, he always believed. Things that took work ended with the best results—with pride, with accomplishment, with self-confidence. Eliza wasn't his pet project; she wasn't someone he wanted to fix because he thought she was broken. No, but she had things she had to work on. They both did, truthfully, and he was pleased to know he'd be there for every step of her journey so long as she allowed him. A long time ago, Rhett learned that he didn't need his family's approval. He loved them, always would as they did him, but he didn't expect them to understand.

"We haven't killed Einstein yet," he agreed and matched her chuckle, shaking his head at her. "Thankfully we don't have a dog. Cats are pretty good at taking care of themselves so long as you check the box, their water, and food every few days or so. Dogs are much needier animals." He scratched a hand through his hair and moved back down the hall, though this time heading for the opposite staircase so they could slip down to the backdoor unnoticed by his family in the kitchen. "And just for the record? My family doesn't hate you. Trust me on that—they don't hate you."

They didn't hate her, though he assumed it was probably easy for her to over-emotionalize how she felt in front of a family… any family. Hate was a strong word and despite all their shortcomings, flaws, and ugly personality traits, the Wolfharts were known for not hating much of anyone.

Down the stairs he trotted, coming to the back landing where he quickly reached for his boots and coat, beginning to pull them on. "Just find a pair that fits you," he reminded her when it came to winter boots. "And yea, we can do a drink at some point… whenever you want, just let me know. The dinner serves beer and wine and such. Just cheap stuff that isn't very hard, but we could go to a local bar after dinner, if you want. Or I'm sure we can find something around the house. They're drinkers, this family, that's for certain."

Zipping up his coat and lacing his boots, Rhett pulled two pairs of gloves down from the mitten box, handing one set out to her. "Anything special you want to go do now though?"

 

[Meraki]

"Yeah, but I love dogs," Eliza laughed, "When I was a kid, I swore I was going to get a dog the minute I moved out — but I've just always worked too much. Einstein is hardly as needy as a dog though you'd never know by the way she forces herself into whatever space she deems her own."

Eliza offered him a warm smile as the two made their way back down the back stairs. Just like before there was a variety of boots that she could manage to sift through and slip on. Luckily, she managed to find the pair from earlier and slipped them on, her jacket following suit before she reached for the gloves that Rhett handed out to her. It took her a minute to get the jacket on her shoulder, her face pinched for a moment in pain before she exhaled and let it settle on her body. She zipped it up, tugged the gloves on and looked up at him.

"Nothing special, cheap stuff is fine, I just — after everything, the last thing I wanna feel like is that I'm drugged," she admitted. Whatever the kidnappers had injected into her system was still making her groggy, emphasizing the ache in her muscles. They had the pain killers that Rhett had managed to get, but with everything going on — the last thing Eliza needed to feel was out of control. "but the diner sounds great. It'll be nice to have a meal again that's just you and me, that doesn't involve my terrible cooking."

Eliza glanced up at him, slipping her hand through his and even though there were gloves separating them, she could still feel the warmth of him there. "I dunno," she tilted her head and furrowed her eyebrows, "What about something you love? Just like somewhere you enjoyed going as a kid. Even if it's just a trail in the woods."

"I'm really up for anything," Eliza smiled, "Wisconsin is our oyster."

 

[Nav]

Rhett considered her words before giving a nod of agreement, "It wouldn't be very fair for the dog, would it? With how much you work." Pets, especially dogs, required lots of love and attention, seeing as they couldn't help themselves to the bathroom and needed plenty of exercise. Cats at least could be left alone for long stretches of time without attention or human care; more often than not, Rhett was convinced Einstein preferred her alone time over when he was home. Poor cat, he thought to himself. She probably wasn't much enjoying staying with the elderly woman who lived downstairs in his complex. Well, at least it wasn't a kennel.

With his coat and gloves pulled tight, Rhett let his hand be taken. "Sure, then the diner it is. The beer is pretty good here, actually. There is a huge boom of microbreweries in the Wisconsin area, for whatever reason, and they sell in obscene quantities. In 2015, craft breweries expanded 12.2% by volume and 21% by dollar share. That's some like…" he paused to calculate as he reached for the door handle with his free hand, "24,076,863 barrels of beer by my calculations." And his calculations were pretty good, seeing as he was only one barrel short.

That said, it would be nice to just have the two of them together again. It felt like it had been too long, though it really hadn't been all that long at all. It seemed they both needed a reprieve, desperately, and he was looking forward to getting away from the family for a few hours.

Stepping out into the snow, he sunk into it with a satisfying crunch as the flakes compressed below his weight. "Somewhere I love? Well, there is my old workshop… or a few hiking trails. The trails may be too drenched with snow to walk easily. Maybe some other time we can get some horses out and take them out. That would be easier. For now, why don't we go to my old workspace. C'mon—it'll be warmer there." With a loving tug to her uninjured arm, Rhett smiled back and began to lead the way. They moved towards the barn again, though instead of taking her through the main double doors, he took her around back where a small set of rickety stairs spiraled up to the hayloft above.

It wasn't heated, but they were out of the way of the wind, which helped considerably. Quickly trotting up the steps, he pushed open the door that gave way with a pained grain of rusty hinges. Inside, the loft stretched across half the barn with an open face looking down on the stalls below. A few workbenches sat in intervals, covered in a layer of dust so thick it looked more like fur than grime. Pieces of machinery littered every available space, but in an organized fashion—true to Rhett, though it was clear none of it had been touched in quite some time.

"I used to come up here a lot," he explained with a lame shrug. "I guess I just like being on the top floor of everything." With a smile, he shook his head—referring to his life in both the attic and hayloft. "There is a small lake not very far from here. Well, more like a large pond. It's really fun to go out and skate on, even in your boots. I'd ask, but I don't want you to fall and hurt your shoulder worse."

 

[Meraki]

"Well it's nice to know that they have about 5,000 barrels leftover for other people once I'm done with them," Eliza joked, a laugh bubbling through her and attempting to warm the chill in her bones. She hated feeling injured or sick, but it seemed that she was getting the lion's share now. Her whole life she never stopped or let herself heal, but since she met Rhett, he had shown her the importance of taking care of herself. Especially after the explosion, she had nearly done some serious damage because of her stupid need to prove something to herself and everyone else. It was Rhett that made her feel like it was okay once in a while to be weak, to ask for help, but it didn't change the fact that the chill in her bones from the sensitivity of her senses and muscles made her feel a bit uneasy.

It was hard feeling like she was physically in pieces while also being a bit emotionally in pieces.

"Your workshop?" she glanced up to him, loving the way he just revealed pieces of himself in such a blasé tone that she almost missed them. No anymore, anyway, because she knew how he worked. She may not have been able to follow his mind because she was far slower than he was, but she could understand the speed with which he passed by the world outside with his mind. She followed him up to the the workshop and was happy to get out of the wind — though she was plenty used to the cold. "Wow," Eliza said as she stepped into the workshop and glanced off the open face to the stables below before exploring a bit. She did not elaborate on her wow, just looked around and absorbed it.

There were so many facets of Rhett that she had never experienced and she never knew whether or not she would experience. After all, he stayed by her side far longer than she ever anticipated him staying.

He was always proving her wrong, that Rhett Wolfhart.

"You know, sometimes you tell me things about you, but I never thought I would —" Eliza shook her head, her black mane of hair falling over her shoulders, "I know this trip is rough so far, but I'm really glad, Rhett. I'm glad I get to see these parts of you. How long has it been since you were home last? Or, well, up here last?"

From the way the dust collected in thick, hairy layers on the surfaces of his workbench, she could assume it was at least a year or two. "A pond? Rhett Wolfhart, I'll have you know that Eliza Madison does not fall on ice," she smiled brightly and gave his hand a squeeze, "and you know skating always puts me in a better mood. Especially considering the fact you're so good at it now after our little date."

 

[Nav]

Rhett had slipped his fingers through Eliza's so he could take a few ambling steps forward, admiring the workspaces and dragging his gloved fingers through the dust, leaving long trails along the tabletops. He smiled inwardly to himself, as if reliving some memories that were entirely pleasant. Dusting his gloves off on the thigh of his pants, he only seemed to glance back when she began to speak again. A smile warmed him, more sincere and grounded in reality this time.

Sometimes, he just said things without thought. He never really thought about what Eliza did or did not know because there weren't any secrets left for him to keep from her. She was already aware of his darkest pieces, so all that was left was random bits and bobs even he had almost forgotten about. He just told her things as he thought of them, his brain a constant stream of thought and reason. "Since I was home last? Since I was last up here?" he shrugged, "The last time I was up here was shortly before my accident, I think. I had come home once… no, twice, since moving to New York, so maybe three years since I was last in Wisconsin?"

He didn't go home often. He often brushed that thought away with 'I'm busy with work' or 'I have a case.' It wasn't a complete lie, but it also wasn't the entire truth either. When it came to Wisconsin, there was just a lot for him to deal with and it had always been easier to just… not. Not deal with it.

His shoulders relaxed with a small laugh, "Yea, I guess you're right. You are divine at coping with ice. Alright, alright, let's go," he agreed, slipping his hand back into hers just in time for her to give his fingers an affectionate squeeze. "Though after our little date I'm more concerned you'll fall because of me instead of you falling on your own. But it seems now that I've mentioned it, I wouldn't be able to stop you anyways. Come on, back down the stairs."

Leaving the workshop behind, Rhett led her back down the steps and away from the barn, farther away from the house. They had to cross over a few small hills before coming up next to pasture fencing and on the outside was a decent sized, natural retention pond. As promised, it was solid and the snow had already been cleared from the ice. Obvious signs of blade marks, probably from the younger kids, already etched the surface.

"Here we are! The Wolfhart family pond…" he laughed, "There is an actual lake that butts up against the far end of the property. It's great for fishing in the summer. A lot of people skate there in winter, too, but it's a long walk."

 

[Meraki]

Eliza followed after him, musing to herself as they walked. Three years since he had been home last. What a long time to be alone — but she knew that he liked his independence and she was happy that maybe if he didn't like New York then, he had a reason to like it now. Even if it was just her that he liked, that would be enough. True enough, it was coming up on the twenty-first anniversary of her parents' death in only a month's time in March, her twenty-fifth birthday in April. It was funny how quickly time passed when you were too busy to pay attention.

"The Wolfhart family pond, huh?" she smiled as they came upon the small marked up pond and immediately Eliza felt better, "Now, this is my kind of family activity." A laugh escaped her lips and warmed the air around them. It was so much easier to stomach all of this when she had Rhett so close to her and especially when they had time for themselves. The Wolfharts would come later and they still had to survive dinner and a rodeo of all things, but Eliza could conquer it all if Rhett was by her side. Hell, if an explosion didn't kill her, spending time with his family wouldn't either.

"C'mon," Eliza smiled as she tugged on his hand and made her way to the edge of the pond. It was slick and her boots caught quickly, pulling her out onto the ice just far enough that she could coax Rhett. "I'll even give you my good hand, okay?" she laughed. Immediately memories of Central Park and their day out flooded into her mind and she felt the slightest pang of homesickness in her gut, but she powered through it. "Here's a funny image — you know, one of the things I have from my parents' house is a photo album and in it is the most embarrassing picture ever. My mom wanted me to be a competitive figure skater, among the hundreds of other things she wanted me to be, and there's a picture of me in this little frilly pink dress and matching skates."

"Could you imagine me? A figure skater?" she chuckled, "skating around to Mozart in those dresses?"

"But when I was a kid, I would have never thought I'd grow up to be a detective," she admitted, "It's funny how life trajectories can change in a moment."

 

[Nav]

"Eliza—" his tone was fringed with worry like the little bit of lace on the edge of a dress. He looked at her with a typical Wolfhart furrowed brow, the same one he used when he was lost in thought or engaging in the courtroom. It was a serious expression. There wasn't a frown, necessarily, but definitely not a smile—instead, it was like his lips pressed together and formed a perfectly straight line, neither amused or upset, just worried. Rhett rolled his eyes, those indigo darts—sharp, yet full of emotions. They weren't heavy or blunt, just apparent. "Just, be careful, okay?"

She stepped out on to the ice and slid a few inches before handing an arm back towards him in a coaxing manner—like someone trying to wheedle a cat from a tree with a saucer of milk. "Your good hand? Dear, you saw me fall! If I fall, I take you with me and you could—" he sighed. It was useless. As a lawyer, he could argue all day but he could never argue Eliza. She won every time and without even realizing what he was doing, his boot stepped out on to the ice and he skidded a few inches until he was by her side, looking hesitant but maintaining his balance on the slick surface.

Instead of focusing on the fact that, at any moment, he could fall and break every bone in his body, he listened to her story and broke in to a small bubble of laughter. "My dear," he began in response, "Something tells me you would have been a very different person had you not endured when you did." Maybe she would have been girly—maybe she would have already been dolled up in to a beautiful white dress and whisked down the aisle by her father, all while she was blissfully ignorant to Rhett's existence. Whoever Eliza Madison would have been had her parents not been murdered, he didn't know, but he couldn't imagine they would have ended up together. The fact of the matter was that Eliza was too good for him—she was brilliant and smart, all in her own way, and one of the most charming people he had ever met (cold exterior aside). The only reason they had probably ended up together at all was because people saw them both as 'damaged goods.'

In the real world, people like Rhett didn't get people like Eliza, except for in romcoms.

"Everything can change in one moment." Like Rhett with his accident. He never would have ever considered becoming a lawyer had he not met the lawyer at his bedside after he had come-to from his coma.

"But that's the way life goes, you know? Things just happen sometimes." His hand snaked down to hers and claimed her fingers in his own, separated by several centimeters of thick glove. "But, are we going to skate or what?"

 

[Meraki]

"Well then," Eliza laughed, "Don't fall and we'll be fine."

Rhett never gave himself enough credit. He was always fearing not being good enough or being a hindrance, but someday he had to realize that he was always enough for her. Whether he fell with every step, or he glided by like a pro — Rhett was everything to her. Maybe in another lifetime they would not have met, maybe they had been drawn together by terrible circumstance but they had remained together not because they were both damaged, but because they had finally found something they both deserved. Both of them deserved to have someone who looked at them without judgment, listened without crippling pity, and was simply there. No expectations, no hidden agendas, just there.

And every single time Eliza opened her eyes — whether it was in the hospital, or after she was drugged, or just after a good night's sleep — she saw him.

He was right, though. The Eliza she would have been under the loving care of her parents was a different version of Eliza than the woman beside him, but she could not bring herself to regret. For so, so long Eliza had hated herself. She thought herself broken and nothing more than a baggage claim full of vices and hurt, but being with Rhett made her happy. It made her realize, slowly but surely, that this Eliza was the one she had grown up to be, and this Eliza would always be good enough for him. No, not ever good enough, more than enough. Everything could change in one moment, but what Rhett didn't know was how incredibly he had changed her life in a single moment.

She would never have been this Eliza, were it not for him and she was beginning to like this Eliza.

"Yeah, yeah," Eliza laughed, "Come on, let's skate."

Their fingers meshed together and she gave him a little tug, starting off nice and slow like they did in New York. Soon enough, in the beauty and quiet of the moment, little snowflakes started to trickle down from the clouds, just enough to catch her eyelashes and fall intermittently into her black locks. She had never felt such a gentle snowfall, but it made the moment magical. She turned to face him their hands still together but her feet expertly keeping her upright. She slid to a stop for a moment and tugged him toward her, her lips finding his softly in the gentle snowfall.

"I love you," she whispered, though it was plenty loud in the silence of the winter.

 

[Nav]

Winter and Rhett Wolfhart had never really gotten on.

Icicles dangled from the shadowy skeletons of trees all around them, each one like an ominous sword of Damocles. The river, frozen solid, was covered with ice so thick that it showed reflections as clear as a mirror of the heavy, grey sky. The chilly breeze slicing through the air seemed to whisper 'ice, ice, ice…' and left a cold so deep within Rhett that he thought he'd never get warm again. He had gotten used to it over the years, but he had never much enjoyed it, but the skating was nice all the same.

"This just reaffirms my favorite winter activity: bitching about the weather," he mumbled quietly to himself as he hesitantly pushed himself forward with a gentle sort of care, letting himself slide forward. It took immense concentration, but he managed to keep his feet underneath him as he did so. "The number of cubic feet of snow that falls on the planet each year is about one million billion," he muttered quietly, "And there are about eight billion snowflakes in your average sized snowman. That's rounding, because my brain is so damn frozen I'm not sure it can compute in partial numbers."

Immediately, he sucked in a deep breath and shivered, but there was a smile on his face all the same.

She gave him a little tug and a surprised squeak (a manly squeak, he was sure), made its way out of his mouth but he quickly managed to regroup his limbs and stay balanced before pushing off and following after her. Of a sudden, the clouds broke into a deluge of whirling snow. Snow was beginning to fall like confetti as it sprinkled across the line of his shoulders and dappled his eyelashes. He nearly lost himself in the moment, though not entirely as he still needed to focus to prevent himself from falling most gracefully on his ass.

"I love you too, Eliza," he answered, his fingers closing tighter around her gloved hand and wearing a smile as the wind created a bright red blush on his cheeks. "More and more every day, it would seem. I do say though, after skating, we should consider lunch. All this skating and snow is making me hungry." Getting braver, he slipped his hand through hers and pushed off on the ice, moving ahead a few paces and seeming to get the hang of his balance. It was like riding a motorcycle, he supposed. He always had had good balance, it just took a little while to remember.

"There is an indoor race track—motorcycles, that is, if you want to go and watch a race. It's not as fun as the outdoor ones, but it's still neat."

 

[Meraki]

"Look at you," Eliza laughed as she watched Rhett take off skating a few paces ahead, "Want me to sign you up for the next Winter Olympics? You're a natural." Her laughter was the brightest sound in the silence of the winter wind. The snow gathered in her lashes, in her hair, as they skated carefully around the little pond and she could not help but smile. He was so handsome and there was something about watching him that made her heart ache with affection. Rhett Wolfhart was someone really special, that much she was sure of, but sometimes she just found herself thinking about how in love with him she was.

It had been so hard at first to admit it but once she did, she just could not stop herself from thinking it every moment of every day. There was a day, long before she met Rhett, where she could not imagine herself spending her days with the same person but here she was now, incapable of imagining a life without him. Rhett brought light back into her life, introduced love and rekindled the woman she could be underneath the scars and aching exhaustion in her bones. "I am totally up for some lunch," Eliza admitted, skating up quickly to make her way back to his side, "I'm starving and I could probably use a drink. This cold is making my shoulder ache something awful."

She gingerly rotated it back just enough to ease some of the tightness and pain, but it didn't really do anything. What she needed was to rest it from work, which would take a few days. Some heat and a good beer sounded like the perfect formula for healing — not to mention little diners had the best food. Of that, she was entirely sure. "I'm down for anything. I've never seen a real motorcycle race, and I'm sure you could teach me a thing or two about bikes."

"At this point," she laughed, "anywhere with heat is welcome. I don't think I can feel my toes."

 

[Nav]

"Figure skating is all math and physics," he muttered quietly, "I can understand the formulas and the concepts behind it, yet I can't put it into practice. How funny is that?" He sighed a little, still skating ahead but wobbling every now and again. He managed, on a few occasions, to tuck his feet below himself and prevent himself from falling over—but there had been more than one occasion where he had nearly taken a nose dive. Luckily, he hadn't completely fallen down yet, and he could only really thank the fact that he was on his feet and not on skates, which provided a whole new element of balance to an already dangerous game.

Eliza had spun around and come up alongside of him and he was grateful she agreed to his plan. Skating was fine and fun, but he was ready to be done… to get off the ice before he fell off the ice. Like her, a beer sounded like a nice way to cap the early afternoon anyways and he was beginning to feel a little hungry. "Sure," he agreed, glancing to her with a smile, "Let's go get some lunch then. We can take the farm truck… I just need to grab the keys."

Rhett made his way slowly off the ice, looking relieved once his boots met the snow and there was more traction beneath his feet. "Let's just get lunch and we can figure out what we want to do from there, alright? If we want to go to the track or just come back here." He didn't want to push her if she was feeling unwell, and this was one of several times her shoulder pain had come up in conversation. A part of him worried she was still doing too much and was only hurting herself worse, but Rhett quickly resigned his worries to the back of his mind as Eliza was a grown woman fully capable of caring for herself. He smiled towards her, reaching out and gently taking her hip with his hand to guide her back towards the house.

"Mm, yea, my toes are a little cold too," he admitted, wiggling them in his boots when he spoke and sucking in a deep breath when they prickled with discomfort at the sudden movement. They made it back to the house fairly quickly, and Rhett just leapt inside really quick to grab the keys and tell his mother where they were going. Only a few moments later, he was trotting back out the front door again. "Come on! This way!" And off they went again. This time, he led her towards the garage and pulled it open. The pickup truck inside was old, grey and blue, and dotted with rust along the bottom. It looked like it had seen better days, but the minute Rhett slid into the driver's side and turned the key, the engine purred immediately to life without a fuss.

The lights lit up and the heater began to breathe warm air into the cabin. "This thing was my first car," he said as he put it into reverse to get out of the drive before making the short trip towards the diner, "I learned to drive in this thing. Hated it. Still do, honestly. I actually really hate driving in general. It's why I never got a car in New York. I see them as mostly pointless objects."

 

[Meraki]

Eliza followed beside him, his hand on her hip as they guided one another back to the house. No part of her wanted to partake in family time right now, as she was having plenty of fun just with Rhett, and she was happy to see him just quickly jolt inside to grab the keys for the truck. While she waited, Eliza crossed her arms over her chest and watched as her breath smoked out in the chilly air. The snowfall was nice — just light enough that it collected in her hair and lashes, but not too heavy to drive in. It wasn't so different from New York, but what was overwhelming was the sense of silence. Never in her life, even at night, had Eliza been outside in New York and heard nothing.

But it was silent — like not a single soul wished to bother her.

Rhett was back out in a moment and led her towards the garage where there was an old pickup truck inside. When was the last time she was in a pickup truck? Her dad had one, she remembered the pictures in her album of them outside and her sitting on the bed with her hands outstretched. Her first boyfriend had one too, parked it in an alley in Queens by his dad's place and only used it when he'd take her out. Eliza had never owned a car of her own, save for the cruiser, and Linda would never let her drive.

"I'm not a big fan either," Eliza smiled as she slipped into the passenger side and felt the warm air breathe life into her cold bones, "I never had a car when I was a teenager — just learned to drive in case of emergencies. I walked everywhere. It's not always the most glamorous, but I love public transportation."

Eliza usually took the subway to work every morning and when she was a kid, she would take it by herself wherever she wanted to go. Taxis were expensive in the city and cars got too caught up in traffic, so she relied on it. "I'm a pretty decent driver, but I think the cruiser is different because the sirens and the lights are fun."

"Motorcycles are definitely a thousand times cooler than cars, though," she nodded, "No question."

 

[Nav]

"I drove a lot as a teen," he replied, "But out here, ya kinda have to, you know? There isn't much in the way of public transportation. Well, there isn't really any. My mom even had to fight the school district to get the school bus to come all the way out here. She won, of course, and so they'd come… but we were always the first ones on the bus, and the last off—so the bus got here at six in the morning and we didn't get off until about four. It was nice having my license," he shrugged as he pulled out on to the main street.

Main street was probably a generous term though, seeing as it hadn't even been properly plowed. Snow was just sort of mashed down under the weight of tires and pushed off to the side as people drove through it. Thankfully, it seemed to be not match for the four-wheel pickup that was grumbling as it rolled along. Older than dirt, probably, but running like a kid in a game of tag… if not a bit noisy, especially when Rhett shifted gears.

"Once I moved to New York though, there was no point in having a car. I just walked everywhere—still do, really." Sometimes, in spring and summer, he'd ride his bike places but he generally preferred to walk. He enjoyed decompressing at the end of a long day or giving himself pep talks at the start of one. He liked watching people as he walked past, or thinking about his cases…. Or doing random math problems, like how many leaves had fallen, on average, in the state of New York on the twelfth day of October. If the weather was particularly bad—raining or downright too cold—he'd opt for the subway, but he didn't generally like it all that much. The dark, dank spaces of it all made him feel uneasy.

"I like trains a lot," he admitted. After a few minutes of driving they had rolled in to downtown. It was a small town, wrapped around the central city courthouse with a film of shops and storefronts on the immediate surrounding square. They were mostly little boutique-like shops: a bakery, a local pharmacy, a bookstore, a kitchenware store. On the corner of the block, between Second and Elm, was a little hole in the wall restaurant called The Alpine. Pulling into one of the parking spaces, Rhett killed the engine and saw himself out.

"I'm glad you think motorcycles are cool though," he laughed, stepping around to take her hand once she got out. "It might make slightly less dorky, even, what do you think?" He shook his head and just went to open the door for her.

"Nevermind. There aren't enough cool points in the world to make me not dorky."

 

[Meraki]

"Somehow I am not surprised at all to hear your mother beat the school district," Eliza laughed, imagining Rhett's mother for a moment. She was something else, really, and that was saying something coming from Eliza. After all, she was from New York and she had never met a mother quite like Mrs. Wolfhart. "I don't know that I've ever been on a real train, outside the subway," Eliza admitted, though it was not hard to imagine. She had never even left New York before, so trains were a bit useless to her. It was okay, though. Walking was more interesting, so was the subway. People in New York were just so interesting because there were so many packed into such a little space and everyone was always on the move.

"Wow," Eliza mentioned as they drove into downtown, "This is the kind of stuff you see on the Travel Channel when they do a special on Main Street, USA. This is always what I assumed small towns looked like."

It was quaint and inviting, beautiful in the freshly fallen snow, and it did not seem to deter the people. Everyone went about their day and paid Eliza and Rhett no mind as they slipped out of the truck. "Hey," she laughed and took his hand and stepped out of the truck, "There is nothing wrong with being dorky. I find the best people are a pretty solid mixture of both. I am a badass detective by day and a really solid drunk karaoke singer at night. Everyone's got their shit."

She squeezed his hand lovingly and moved to step into the little place he had picked for lunch. Thankfully it was a little hole in the wall place and Eliza felt immediately at home. Taking a seat in a booth, the waitress left them with two menus and a moment to decide on their drinks. "The Alpine, huh?" she reached immediately for their beer selection and was surprised to see the colorful offering of microbrews, "So what would you recommend — or should I be adventurous with my beer and lunch? It's not like we haven't had enough adventure for a lifetime yet."

A soft chuckle passed through her smile. If only. The two had been through nearly everything the world could throw at them, but there was still such a long way to go.

 

[Nav]

Stepping inside was nice. It was quaint, probably a bit dirtier than Rhett cared to admit to himself, but the food looked warm and delicious and that was all he cared about. Immediately stepping into the building, Rhett's stomach gave a grumble as they were ushered to a small, dark booth. Sliding in opposite of Eliza, he gave a small smile up to her as he propped open in his menu. "Yea, the Alpine."

It was tacky in green and blues with horrible decorations—some kind of cross between rustic and country, but not really completing either. There were old pictures hanging along one wall, probably of the city back forty, fifty years past. It was the type of place that kept a few shakes of rice in the salt shakers, with condiments in piles pushed to the far corner of the table—ketchup, mustard, sugar, and jelly—anything to smother in breakfast, lunch, or dinner. There was something charming about it though and the residents certainly seemed to agree as the place was packed for lunch, mostly hard-working country types in their jeans, hoodies, and down jackets.

"Hm? Oh, I am not sure. Anything should be fine." He hadn't eaten at the Alpine in years, but he couldn't recall ever having a bad experience. Funny thing about Rhett was that he didn't usually forget many things, and a bad experience would certainly not be a memory he readily misplaced. "But beer? Beer sounds divine."

The waitress returned and took their drink orders, not seeming fazed by the fact that they were ordering beer and it was only barely noon. She brought by first two big glasses of water, in plastic Pepsi cups, that Rhett happily took a healthy sip of before their beers arrived. She took their orders, with a thick lathering of 'huns' and 'dears' before seeing herself off to put in their order. Reaching over, Rhett slid his beer closer to himself before sipping the foam off the rim.

"So," he began, glancing up to her over his glass, "What do you think of Wisconsin? Enjoying being out of the state or are you ready to go back now?"

A day ago, Rhett would have argued he was ready to leave Wisconsin before he had even crossed into the state line, but now he wasn't so sure. Sure, they had to put up with family commitments, but he was rather enjoying showing herself around. It was strange though, seeing as he had kept this part of him so well guarded for so long and that she had only found out about it as the result of a drunken fluke.